That day seemed very distant though, as I sat there on a leather bench in a largely empty room, looking down.
Angela was with me, sitting close with her arm around my shoulder and her hand on my swollen tummy, caressing my baby through the skintight rubber that covered my body from my toes to my neck. It was black and shiny and I wore it as a second skin, a dark mirror that reflected the fluorescent lights above us. It was a gift from my husband, from Jack, the first he'd given me in seven months.
And there, standing against the wall, was Paul himself, Angela's husband and the father of my unborn child, although neither of them knew it. That was my secret and mine alone. My husband had never asked who the father was, although I had waited for the question, even prayed for it. I think if he'd asked, if Jack had shown some interest beyond the bare fact that I'd cheated on him, it might have meant something. I just wasn't sure what precisely. My husband was something of an enigma to me, seeming very much different from the man I'd married almost a year and half before. I was different too however, changed in many ways, and so perhaps all of this was just a part of a process we'd endured before, falling in love.
Such are the thoughts a woman has while waiting for her husband to meet the man who'd fucked her. It was going to hurt, if the truth came out. I didn't know exactly who or how, but it was a sense I had, making the small loose strands of hair at the back of my neck stand up. Angela seemed innocent of the whole affair, sitting there and making friends with me. I liked her and I hadn't tried not to. She didn't know her husband had seduced me, it wasn't her fault. I didn't want to hurt her with the truth.
And Paul, Dr. Prescott, he'd barely remembered me when we'd met tonight. Doubtless he remembered fucking me, I could see it in his eyes that he remembered that much at least, but little more than that. I'd never confronted him, never tracked him down to tell him about our baby. I'd been afraid to, at least in the beginning, and then later I'd considered an abortion, and so he'd have no real interest in me anyway after that. And finally, after deciding to keep my baby and offer it up for adoption, I'd simply wanted to forget him. That was all, I wanted to put everything behind me and shut it out forever.
But here he was, in the flesh, and the elevator was coming and with it my husband, or so we all expected. It had been some time since Jack had dropped me off at the club, the Pacific Northwest Power Exchange, or simply PX, which was a Seattle based BDSM group. It was our new passion, this alternative lifestyle, and one that we'd both embraced for our own personal reasons. I suspected it was the reason for my husband's newfound sex drive, which had been lackluster at best for the first 8 months of our marriage. Now he was eager and ardent and attentive enough that I was overwhelmed at times with his desire for me. His desire to punish me, to humiliate and love me, as if suddenly all those things were one and the same.
And punishment was good. I'd found myself accepting it readily. Would I have done so before that day when I'd betrayed him? I didn't know, and I would never know, but it was unimportant. Through unfortunate fate we'd found something new and persuasive to our hearts. If my reasons for wanting this, for allowing myself to be bound and beaten and subjugated, were impure, at least they were mine. All of us have our reasons, and none of us can judge anyone but ourselves. My husband hadn't judged me, or so I believed, he'd accepted what I told him and had treated me as he'd felt necessary. My acceptance of that was necessary to me.
I felt my heart stop as the elevator doors opened. I was determined to say nothing to my husband about Paul and I could only hope that he wouldn't notice anything wrong. But I'd never been good at hiding things, at lying. Guilt poured out of me like blood from an open wound and Jack knew me so well.
"Charles. And Charli..." Paul sighed. "...Beautiful as ever."
"Hello Paul." A man's voice said, "Hi Angela..."
"Hi Paul." There was a woman's voice, and the sound of heels on the cold tiled floor.
"...meeting out here tonight?" The man chuckled and I felt him closer as Angela let go of me, rising to give the man a hug and accept a kiss on the cheek.
"You remember Lisa?" The woman was saying and I looked up finally, confused for a moment as I thought she was talking about me.
"Yes I do, I remember every inch of her." Paul laughed and hugged a second woman.
"We missed you, how was Rome?" The man, Charles, was asking Angela and I remembered meeting him once before, at one of the first meetings Jack and I had attended. I remembered his wife as well, Charli, but we hadn't spoken very much at all. They'd been with another woman, another aspiring member like ourselves. Her name was Lisa, and she was kissing Paul's cheek and smiling.
"It was fabulous..." Angela smiled.
"We have a Lisa too." Paul smiled, turning towards me and I stood up slowly, feeling nervous, and an odd mixture of relief and disappointment that Jack hadn't been on the elevator.
"Well, of course you do!" Charles smiled, letting go of Angela and embracing me gently. "How could anyone forget you?"
"It's nice to see you again." I said, returning his hug awkwardly with my large tummy between us.
"You remember my wife, Charli, and our pet, Lisa?" Charles stepped back and Charli took his place, kissing me lightly on the cheek.
"Look at you!" Charli stepped back, smiling as she took in my body. I'd been all of 5 months pregnant perhaps when we'd met previously, and dressed much more conservatively.
"Isn't she amazing?" Angela was smiling. "I'm head over heels, I think."
"Where did you ever find an outfit like that?" Lisa was hugging me, just a squeeze and then stepping back.
Charles had made his way back to Paul and they were smiling and talking quietly, glancing at the four of us women. The other three were standing close around me, admiring my maternity fetishwear and of course my oversized stomach.
"My husband found it, someplace on the internet." I giggled, "He surprised me completely."
