Mr. Bra Fitter

All characters are over 18.

^^^February 2nd. In a small Texas town.^^^

"WHAT do you mean you're missing my sister's birthday party?" Tracy shrieked.

"I've picked up a job," her husband, Tom, explained.

"That doesn't make sense. The party's Saturday night."

"Mario is in a bind. His biggest customer is expecting to move in on Monday morning. The job got off schedule due to the electricians' strike.

"He is willing to pay me a premium to get the job done over the weekend. You know we need the money."

"Oh, so it's my fault. Because my store is struggling," she yelled, lashing out angrily to cover her feeling of embarrassment.

"I'm not blaming anyone. We need money to pay the mortgage and for groceries."

Tracy was in tears. Her body slumped, and she said, "I bet you're thinking you married the wrong sister."

"That's ridiculous!"

Bam!

Tracy had thrown a frying pan at her husband. He ducked, it missed him, and it hit the wall.

He gave her an 'Are you crazy look?', and said, "Sometimes there's no reasoning with you. I'm going to the Last Chance Saloon."

He slammed the back door when he left.

Tracy sat on a chair and sobbed.

^^^

"Ahhh!" Tanya screamed.

She was in her bedroom with the door closed. She had her earbuds in and could still hear her parents arguing.

Tanya couldn't stand it when they fought, and lately, they seemed to be fighting more often.

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the 1961 version of "Cupid (draw back your bow)". She was a fan of old R&B songs, and this one performed by Sam Cooke was one of her favorites.

Her parents stopped fighting. She heard a door slam and thought, "That's Dad leaving."

She heard her mother crying, and she heard the last portion of the song clearly.

" Cupid, please hear my cry

And let your arrow fly

Straight to my lover's heart for me

Now, Cupid

Don't you hear me calling you?

I need you

Cupid, help me, I need you

Cupid don't fail me 'cause I need you."

Tanya said, "Cupid, I need you. Please help me. Mom and Dad used to be so happy. Can't you help them find that love again?

"Mom's business isn't doing well, and that is stressing her out. Dad is working longer hours to compensate. That makes Mom feel guilty. I've told them I don't have to go to college next year.

"I could take a year off or maybe not even go at all. I don't know why but that idea seemed to piss them off. I guess they had their heart set on me being the first person in our family to go to college.

"Cupid, please help me. Remind these two knuckleheads that they are perfect for each other."

Tanya sighed heavily and went to the kitchen. She hugged her mother and let her cry on her shoulder.

Her mom stopped crying, blew her nose on a tissue, and said, "Thanks." She went to her room.

Tanya got a soda out of the frig. She pulled the tab on the aluminum can. The can fizzed and sprayed the caramel-colored liquid on her shirt.

"Crap!" she exclaimed.

She blotted her top; the stains remained.

She pulled the shirt over her head and washed it in the sink, using dishwasher detergent to get the stain out. She walked to her bedroom in her bra and jeans. Along the way, she stopped and hung the wet shirt over the shower rod in the bathroom.

She entered her bedroom and cried out, "What the fuck!"

She saw an old man stretched out on her bed. The eighteen-year-old crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

"Your prayer has been answered."

"What?" She raised her phone and said, "Get out of my house, or I'm calling the police!"

The mystery man sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Dear girl, didn't you ask for Cupid's help? I am he."

Tanya stared wide-eyed at the elegantly dressed silver-haired man. Her mouth fell open.

"Were you expecting a chubby little boy, holding a bow and arrow?"

He stood tall and said in a deep powerful voice, "I AM EROS THE SON OF APHRODITE AND ARES!"

He could see by the look on her face that the name 'Eros' meant nothing to her.

He sighed, shook his head, and said, "Does no one know history anymore? In Greece in the year 700 B.C., the goddess of love, Aphrodite, had a son with Ares, the god of war.

"I am their offspring. I am Eros, the god of desire.

"When the Romans came into power around the fourth century B.C., they changed our names. They called my mother Venus, my father Mars, and I was renamed Cupid.

"They were frightened of me because I could cause anyone to fall in love with anyone, so they stopped showing me as a handsome virile young man and depicted me as a young boy, usually with wings."

He shook his head and added, "The Renaissance painters cemented that image of me. In picture after picture, they portrayed me as a chubby five-year-old.

"That image has stuck. I am two thousand seven hundred and twenty-three years old. I think this is an appropriate representation of me."

He pointed at himself.

"If you'd prefer to deal with a naked little boy with wings and an exposed hairless penis, I can change."

"No!" Tanya answered. "This will do. I'm surprised. I did ask for your help. I didn't expect you to come."

She paused, brought her finger to her chin, and said, "How is it that you came? I mean, you being a god. You have time for me?"

"Such is the sad state of affairs for us old gods. People have forgotten us. They no longer build temples, give offerings, and worship us. Most of my brethren are asleep.

"You were lucky to catch me," he said and chuckled. "I was awake because I had to pee."

"Ah..." She did not look convinced. She asked, "Can you do something to prove that you are a god?"

He got incensed and shouted, "YOU question my abilities! I made Helen of Troy and Paris fall in love. That was the catalyst for the ten-year Trojan War!"

She shrugged and said, "Who?"

He sighed, shook his head, and said, "I understand. You know the name Cupid and little about the ancient gods.

"We gods have unique powers. Mine is to kindle an intense desire that cannot be ignored. I could cause you to fall on your knees and suck my cock, or strip and bed me as if your life depended on making love to me.

"As a group, we are immortal and have enhanced intelligence, and we can teleport and change our form."

He disappeared. Seconds later, he reappeared. He smiled and morphed into a cat, a bull, and a goose.

Suddenly, he was a man again and asked, "Does that prove my bona fides?"

"Wow! Yes."

"Good. Let's focus on why I'm here. What's the problem?"

"It's my parents. I'm afraid they may divorce. Wal-Mart...."

"Excuse me," Eros interrupted her. "I am unfamiliar with this Wall Mart."

The eighteen-year-old giggled and said, "Wal-Mart is a gigantic company that sells a variety of goods. They are so big and so efficient that small individual business owners can't compete.

"Their buying power is great. They get better prices and can afford to sell goods at lower prices than a mom-and-pop store can."

He nodded.

"My mother runs a small women's clothing store. She sells dresses, tops, hats and stuff. She is losing customers to Wal-Mart and having problems paying our bills."

"Do you want me to give you money? That isn't what I do."

"I wasn't asking for money."

She gave him a pleading look and said, "They used to be so in love. Everyone said so. Now, all they do is bicker. Can you help them rediscover their love for one another?"

"I can do that. I can make them so crazy for each other that they'll have sex in the middle of the street for days on in."

"That's not exactly what I had in mind. That would get them arrested."

"Really?"

"Yes. We have laws prohibiting public nudity and having sex in public. I was hoping to rekindle their love in a responsible manner."

Eros raised a finger to his chin and said, "We can approach this a different way. It sounds like your mom is upset because she can no longer contribute to household expenses.

"She's embarrassed and stressed. This is causing tension in her relationship with your father, leading to arguments."

"Exactly," Tanya said.

"Let's make her business more successful."

"But Wal-Mart is huge. She can't sell at the prices they charge."

"I understand. Can she sell goods they don't stock? Or provide services that would cause people to come to her?"

"Wal-Mart carries a lot of things. They are fine if you know what you want, but if you need help picking the right item or have questions about how to use something, you're out of luck."

"So there is room for a niche business that promotes great customer service."

"Yes," Tanya said excitedly. "My father and lots of people still go to the local hardware stores because you can tell Mr. Mathews what your problem is, and he gives you what you need and tells you how to install it.

"My dad says that kind of service is worth more than saving a buck or two on the item."

"How can we change your mother's shop into that place?"

Tanya frowned.

"I'm guessing not a lot of help is needed for picking a dress or a hat."

Tanya nodded.

"What about that strappy thing you're wearing on your chest? Do all women wear those?"

Tanya dropped her arms. They both looked at her boobs and bra.

She said, "This is a bra. Most women wear them to support their breasts. It's embarrassing to have them bouncing around and to have your nipples show through clothes."

She pushed on the bottom of her boobs and said, "Some bras are designed to give you more cleavage and to make your boobs look bigger."

"Interesting," Cupid said. "In my day, women didn't wear bras. We could never have made something as complicated as that."

He came to her and circled her. He touched the clasp in the back and pulled on the shoulder strap.

"The stitching on this is extremely fine," Eros said. "We used bone needles. The most skilled seamstress in the village could never make this. We made clothing out of linen, wool, or leather. We didn't have anything that stretches and hugs your form."

He touched a cup, lifted her boob, and said, "This is ingenus. The Greeks had an item called a 'strophic'. It was a simple strip of linen or wool that could be wrapped around your breasts and tied behind your back.

"The Romans had the same thing. They called it a strophium, fascia, or a mamillare. It was a band of cotton or linen wrapped around the chest to hold them. They used a pin or brooch to secure the cloth.

"Mind you, the average Greek or Roman woman didn't wear these. They couldn't afford them or underwear either."

"You are pleasing to my eye, but in the olden days, you would not meet the definition of beauty. Your breasts are too big, and your hips and buttocks are too small.

"If a Roman woman could afford to have a strophium, she likely wore it to compress her breasts. Women with large breasts were considered unattractive. The Romans regarded large breasts as comical.

"Large sagging breasts are found on old women, someone incapable of giving you a child. Providing an heir was a woman's number one job."

He tapped a bra-clad breast with one hand, tugged on the band, and said, "This strikes me as a complicated article of clothing. It is not one size fits all."

Tanya's face was red because he had been looking keenly at her boobs. She said, "You're right. Bras are made in a variety of styles and sizes. It's said that eighty percent of women are wearing the wrong size bra."

"That must be problematic."

"Yes. Women have a love-hate relationship with bras. We need support, but they are uncomfortable. The straps dig into your shoulders. Many of them have wire embedded in the fabric for structural support, but they can dig into your sides or pop free and poke you.

"Wearing the wrong bra can lead to neck and shoulder pain, and it can ruin the look of your clothing."

"So there are specialists who help you select the one right for you?"

Tanya laughed, and said, "Some stores do, but most of us are left on our own."

Her eyes widened as a thought struck her.

"Wal-Mart has good prices and a wide selection of bras, but no one to help you pick the one that's right for you. That could be the niche for mom's store.

"We need a bra fitting specialist."

"And what exactly is that?"

"Someone who is an expert in bras. Someone who can diagnose fit issues. You know, picking the right bra isn't easy. It's not as simple as knowing the circumference of your chest or your cup size.

"Boobs come in many shapes - athletic, round, tear-drop, conical.... On some women, they are close together; on others, they are set apart. Most face forward. Some boobs point off to the sides.

"And we need different bras for different occasions. I'm wearing my everyday bra. If I want to wear a dress with a sexy plunging neckline or I'm exercising or playing a sport, I need something else."

"I'll be your fitting specialist."

"What do you know? You never even saw one until a few minutes ago."

He tapped his head and said, "I have enhanced intelligence. Get me the information. I'm a quick study, I'm presentable, and people like me. They will trust me."

"You aren't going to seduce them or turn them into sex maniacs, are you?"

"Do you care?"

"Yes. These are my neighbors and friends."

He laughed and said, "It's been a while since I've participated in a good orgy, but I'll mind my manners. You invited me here to rekindle romance. That will be my focus. Not debauchery.

"Can you get me a book on bras?" he asked.

"I can do better than that. How about every study and article ever written. Have you heard about the internet and the World Wide Web?"

Tanya showed Eros how a laptop worked and got him started. He picked it up quickly and searched the internet for information.

While he read and absorbed the material, she put on a shirt and listened to music. Periodically, she glanced at him and thought, "Wow! I can't believe this is happening."

After two hours of study, Eros stood and stretched. He said, "This machine and the web are very useful. I thought I'd seen the greatest collection of knowledge when I visited my friend, Demetrius of Phaleron, in Egypt.

"I met him when he was appointed the governor of Athens. A fine fellow. He was a follower of Aristotle and implemented some of his ideas. When democracy was restored, he was forced to flee to Egypt.

"He became an advisor to King Ptolemy, a former general of Alexandria the Great. He was given a large amount of money and charged with founding a library that contained all the books in the world.

"I saw the vast quantity of books in the great Library of Alexandria. I didn't think that collection of knowledge could be surpassed, but your world wide web has."

"Good to know," Tanya said.

"I have a lot of theoretical information. I need to balance it with practical knowledge."

Tanya listened and nodded.

"I require your assistance. Can you find me a tape measure and remove your top and bra?"

"Ah...Why do you need to see my breasts?"

"To measure them. I can hardly pass as a bra fitting expert if I've never measured a woman. And, I'd like to determine if you are one of the eighty percent of women who are wearing the wrong size bra."

He looked nonplussed. She was agitated but couldn't find fault with his reasoning.

She handed him her sewing tape and removed her top and bra.

He studied her breasts. Her orbs showed a tan line. Her nipples were a light pink color. They were hard and pointy.

He said, "There are twelve different breast shapes and types. You have bell-shaped breasts. Yours are narrow at the top."

He placed his hands under her breasts and lifted them as he finished his sentence. "and full at the bottom."

"Yes," she said. Her face was red.

"Why are you embarrassed? You have lovely breasts, and they are bigger than the average woman."

"I'm uncomfortable being nude...I mean topless."

Eros laughed and said, "You would not have fared well in ancient Greece.

Nudity was not looked upon as something to cause shame or social discomfort. It was a part of life.

"Great and beautiful men and women were immortalized in nude paintings and statues. Both sexes were required to be naked when they participated in sports and some religious processions and public ceremonies.

"Hesiod suggested that farmers should

'Sow naked, and plough naked, and harvest naked, if you wish to bring all of Demeter's fruits in due season.'

She covered her nipples with her hands and said, "Society's attitude toward nudity has changed. I'm from a more modest generation."

He looked genuinely troubled and said, "I apologize for causing you distress. I, more than anyone, should know that things change over time. I was once the most feared god in the world, and now I am forgotten."

Tanya cocked her head, looked at him, and said, "I mean no offense, but you were more feared than Jupiter, Neptune, and your father, the god of war?"

He chuckled and said, "I was. I wasn't the strongest or most powerful, but even the gods of Mount Olympus feared me because I could bewitch them. The Sun god, Apollo, insulted me, insinuating that I was a lesser god. He made fun of my little bow and arrows, so I shot him."

"Oh!" Tanya exclaimed.

"Oh, yes. I made him fall in love with a beautiful water nymph named Daphne. I also shot Daphne. That arrow made her despise Apollo.

"He chased her and told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. His words only caused her to run faster. It was hilarious. The great sun god told her that he was the son of Jupiter, hoping to impress her, and still she ran.

"He finally caught her, and she was so distressed she called out to her father to save her and to, 'destroy this beauty that pleases too well!'. Her prayer was answered. Bark covered her breasts, her hair turned into leaves, and her arms became branches. She became a laurel tree.

"Wow. I see why they feared you," Tanya said.

He grabbed her wrists, pulled her hand down, and looked at her hard nipples. He chuckled and said, "Can I measure you now?"

She raised her hands over her head and said, "Yes. Get it over with."

Eros wrapped the tape around her body under her breasts and said, "Thirty-four." He measured a second time at the fullest part of her breasts and said, "Thirty-seven. So that makes your bra size 34 C."

He picked her bra up off the bed, looked at the tab, and said, "This says 34 B."

Tanya giggled and said, "That bra is six months old. I thought the cups were fuller. I guess the girls have grown."

"So you're one of the eighty percent."

"So it seems."

Eros smiled and said, "Thanks for the hands-on practice. How deep is your mother's inventory of bras?"

"I'd say not great."

"I thought that would be the case. To pull this off, we'll need lots of styles and sizes. Here's my plan. I'll get the bras and show up at your mother's store with an offer she can't refuse."

"When?"

"I don't know. I've never bought a truckload of bras before and I have to get some cash."

"Right. When you come back, this version of you is good. It's non-threatening. Women will trust you. You need a better name. Cupid and Eros won't."

She paused and thought. She said, "How about Ross? That's close to Eros, and it's a name someone would have these days."

"Okay. I'll see you soon, and we'll pretend we've never met."

Tanya nodded.

Eros smiled, waved, and teleported.

^^^February 9th^^^

Eros sat in a box van, sipping coffee and waiting for Tanya's mother to open her store.

He saw a forty-something woman with blonde hair wearing a floral print, smocked waist midi dress with long sleeves approach the door. She was roughly the same height as Tanya and had similar facial features.

Eros thought, "That must be her. That stylish dress is a good choice for a sunny cool day."