The night a slow dinner for both of us. The choice maybe not the best with noise and a crowd with neither of us able to feel like we were talking to each other anymore. The drive home a continuation of what was. The lighting of the street making the mood even more somber. More grim than anything needed to be. The key sliding into the door almost an echo and me stepping aside to let you in with my motions more robotic than anything else.
The same thought in both of our minds "is this it.. will it end now". Every sound amplified, both of us trying to pull our bodies into themselves. So very aware of the tension between us and not wanting to be the cause of anything that will echo in the room. I go to click on the light as I shut the door behind me and pause. The door hitting closed and echoing while putting us both in darkness. My finger at the switch but not moving at all. Just feeling the smooth plastic at my finger tip and staying so still.
I can hear your breathing lift through the room. The light down the hall coming from around the wall corner and from the street light through a window. Like a far away place and us engulfed in the darkness so far away from it. My hand rests on your shoulder and I feel your muscles tense up. My fingers just on you bare skin and the strap of your dress. I rub softly... as I step a little closer to you. Stepping to be just behind you and just holding you there with my touch.
Removing my hand and the darkness around us I go through my pocket and find a handkerchief. Pulling it wide at its ends I lift it and bring it over your head. Your face tenses as you feel the fabric just touch your cheeks... I tie it over your eyes and you stumble back against me and my body holding you there. The black full around you now. No light.. no shades of gray as we stand there. I grab you by your elbow firmly and push us along.
I can almost hear you whisper counting how many steps we are taking. Almost trying to figure out where we are going. I push you through a door and you can feel the air around you different. A room with a cool scent to it and so much more open than the hallway. Your sense heightened as I stand you in the center of the room. You can hear every step I make. Hear my steps give away how anxious I am, how passionate I am and excited I am.
The black all around you as I return and stand right in front of you. Our breath hitting against each other. I feel your hand go to my arm and slowly dance up along it to my face. One finger tip at a time until you reach my eyes. My eyes also blindfolded now. Keeping the light out and letting me be just as you are. Feeling everything and not be lost in what we see. I clasp your hand as it touches my cheek and I pull your palm to my lips. Kissing it. Holding my lips to your soft skin. Feeling just how soft and tender it is. Your cool skin to my warm breath. My lips kissing softly again.
I pull away your hand and lower it to your side. My fingers finding their way to your dress straps and pulling them aside. Slowly undressing you. Remembering where the zipper was. Thinking about the fabric and its feel now truer in my mind to the rich black than when I saw it clinging to your body. A little closer and unzipping it. My arms around you and body against and trembling as I let it fall off of you. Imagining the folds in it as it hits the floor. My hands to you hands and I help you balance as one heel rises and steps out and step back onto the floor. The lone heel click makes me exhale deeply.
I kiss your chin.. the first thing I can find as I try and move in on you. Tasting you skin as I kiss along your jaw. To your neck and each kiss wet and dry at the same time. Each kiss landing hard and soft at the same time. My hands on your shoulders and I reach your collar bone. Teeth on it and I just bite a soft bite. Teeth exposed and just feeling your skin give. I hold there and just take in what I hear. Your breathing deep and matching mine. To hearts racing and pounding a rhythm in the room.
Hands pushing you back and you take small cautious steps. One after the other accompanied with a heel hitting the floor. I feel you stop and we must have reached the bed. I push you down gently but still holding you. And feel you settle and the mattress gives. The springs creak and rustle as they come to life. A bed sits still all day and coming to life for us. Making a world of give and take.. comfort and push as we dream and long to dream in them.
