Moving On

The Family Together

Abby was sitting next to her Aunt Connie in the church. They were talking quietly while waiting for mass to start. It was the First Communion Mass for Kyle, her Uncle Billy's 'first born male child'. Whenever he said that, it was followed with a smile, sometimes a chuckle and always with a warm hug to either his son Kyle or his wife Amanda. There was love in that family that everybody could see.

There was another one on the way and Uncle Billy kept hoping for a girl. He loved his wife and knew that, while another son would be great, he wanted her to have a daughter. What he didn't know was that she already knew and they were both going to be pleased. The testosterone in that family was going to be diluted.

"Aunt Connie? My mom is waving me over to sit with her and Dad. Would that be OK?"

"Oh sure sweetie, you just tell my sister that she owes me. Owes me big time. Now go." Abby smirked as soon as she turned away from her Aunt, giving a thumbs up to someone peeking around one of the columns. Brad quietly walked past Abby and stood at the pew and asked, "Is this seat taken?"

Connie knew that the church was going to be packed today and was a bit disappointed that her niece wasn't going to be next to her. She exhaled a resigned "No, you're fine. Let me move over a little bit." Then she glanced at the person asking and her jaw dropped. She didn't, no, that was not right. She couldn't say a word as their eyes locked.

"Well, can I sit here? Mass will be starting in a few minutes..." That's when she grabbed his hand and pulled him down in the seat. She still couldn't say a word, but a smile plastered her face. It was met be the same smile on his face, his scarred leather beaten face. Before anything more happened between them, the organ started and the service began. She never let go of his hand. Even if she wanted to pull her hand away, he wouldn't have let go of hers. It made making the sign of the cross a bit difficult, but neither of them cared. When peace was wished, there was a hug that never ended. It had been years since they saw each other. It was college for her and the Air Force for him. The rest of the mass was a blur. It was a blur for both of them.

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Billy called out, "Abigail, Amber, Amelia. Could you come over here? There are a couple of people that I'd like you to meet." The three sisters yelled "In a minute" and finished making their smores. Munching on the chocolate, burned marshmallows and graham crackers, they pretended to reach for each other's hair with their sticky fingers. Giggles and fake cries for help followed them as they ran, walked and skipped away from the fire pit to join their Uncle Billy at the adult table.

It was the end of the Communion party for Billy's son Kyle. Kyle was already gaming inside. Properly, he made sure that he had said his goodbyes to anyone leaving. He then 'offered' to be outside the door where 4 year old Ashley was sleeping. For some unknown coincidence, that room was right next to his gaming station. With the headphones on, there was no hope that he would have ever heard a thing out of her.

Billy and Amada had said goodbyes to the local guests. The long distance friends and relatives were starting to wind down. The local Motel 6 was the place that would be housing most of the out-of-towners tonight. Tomorrow morning, the long distance crew would all return back for a communal breakfast and their final goodbyes. It is so rare that they all could get together. So whenever they did get together, it had to be special and as extended as possible.

The three saw a married couple, Dan and Jeannie, friends of Uncle Billy and Aunt Amanda. Their 4 year old Daughter Ashley was sleeping in on the spare bed in the house. The three sisters had played and occupied that little girl during the party and did a good job of wearing her out.

Aunt Connie was sitting with Brad who arrived with Abby earlier today. The only time those two were not together was when one of them had to go to the bathroom. Of course, their Uncle Billy and Aunt Amanda, as well as the twins' father Gary were sitting at the table. Abby's father Lyle and her mother June rounded off the group. The girls realized quickly that the adults were serious and their teasing one another stopped.

Abby had an idea of what was going on. She was worried that she'd gotten into trouble for realizing her long held dream to shit bomb the bitch. When she had to talk about the bitch when she had to be polite, it was her 'egg donor'.

Billy started it off. Looking at his nieces he said "I'd like to introduce a couple of people to you. This is Dan and Jeannie. Dan and I were Marines together in Iraq. He and Jeannie have been married for about, what? 7 years now?" He got a nod from both of them.

"Brad was a friend of your Aunt Amanda and Aunt Connie growing up." With the straightest face he could muster, he pointed to Lyle and Greg and said, "Honestly, I have no clue where these two came from." The three sisters stuck out their tongues at him, followed by laughter from the rest of the group.

"It was about 10 years ago that your birth mother..." Abby loudly broke in with "You mean the bitch." That was immediately followed with a couple of "shhhhhhhs". Billy continued "Yes Abby. Her name is actually Colleen and we'll call her by that for now. OK?" He got 3 disgruntled nods from the sisters.

"We all know the story. Colleen at 17 became pregnant by Lyle. Lyle here did try to work things out but ..." At that Lyle broke in, "We were young, immature, scared. We were playing adults with our adolescent bodies and minds. It was stupid, it was dumb. I was stupid and dumb. I did make the effort, but Colleen wasn't there. She got plenty of support from your Grandmother and I tried to be the best Dad I could without being a husband.

"Even in that first year while we were trying to be a couple, Colleen started stepping out. That's who she was. It still took me years to realize what kind of person she was. I didn't try to be part of her life after that. But Abby, didn't I try to be a good father?"

Abby nodded with a sad smile. "I always wanted a real family. I didn't really know what I was missing until Greg showed up for those couple of years. When he came, I felt lucky. Both of you guys loved me. Then my sisters showed up and..."

Amber broke in "Want to rephrase that Amelia and I just showed up?"

"Come on, I was 5 years old. Dad 2 just showed up and Dad 1 was there for me too. I became a big girl helping to take care of you two." At that point she looked at her father. "You really helped me then. I knew that I was no longer the center of the world and you kept me being special. You too Dad 2."

After getting a hug, Greg spoke up. "I have to talk about what's next. Colleen started stepping out when the twins were 3. She started working late, would shower when she got home. I was going through some hard times. Lots of things that had happened earlier in my life were coming out. I let her run the finances, I worked the longer hours to begin paying for clothes and food that should have been paid for by our salaries. I wanted to believe that things were OK. I hoped against hope. I..." Lyle spoke up, "I was able to see that things were wrong. I knew where you were at. You tried the hardest to make sure that all our daughters were cared for." Greg continued. "Colleen had pulled away emotionally the last 2 years. I saw that ..." He dropped his face in his hands and started weeping. Lyle put his hand on his shoulder. The sisters were crying too.

In a minute, Billy spoke up. "Sorry, but we needed to talk about what happened and what it was like." Looking at the sisters he said, "We are all aware that your Grandmother will be passing away soon. Your Grandfather took care of her until he passed from a stroke. They were both in the nursing home for about 2 weeks when he died and we placed her in the Memory Care unit. You three have been really good about visiting her in the Care Unit.

"Your Grandfather put all their possessions in a trust after Colleen left and made the beneficiaries you three grandchildren, not her. That money ran out a year ago and she's been a ward of the state since. What we're all afraid of is Colleen coming back to try to claim anything or worse, try to be part of your lives again."

It became very quiet until Abby spoke up. "If she does, I'll shit bomb her again."

Then both Greg and Lyle simultaneously said "NO!" With a nod from Lyle, Greg continued. "Ladies, Colleen is a dangerous woman. She cares nothing about anybody but herself. It's more than just being about her. With her lack of impulse control, we're sure she is more than capable of doing something stupid that will give us long term grief or even worse. At the time of the divorce she lost custody of you three. We waited to see if she would be any part of your lives. It didn't happen.

"Lyle and I made a decision together. She wasn't paying child support. We figured that if she came back, we'd be able to get a court order to attach her wages and a civil suit to claim her assets. We agreed that as long as she stayed away, we wouldn't try to collect. That helped in giving us all a more stable life. The lawyer told us what would happen if she returned and what she could do. For all our lives, it would be the worst thing that could happen. He looked at her history and was convinced. He has a couple of clients that have spent tens of thousands of dollars defending themselves from frivolous suits from embittered ex's. There is nothing legal that could be done to stop them."

"Lyle and I never shared this with you three, but there was a time about three years after the divorce she came to your grandfather asking for money. Your Grandmother's Alzheimer's was already noticeable so he kept Colleen away from her. He instructed Colleen to go back to the Rainbow hotel and wait for him there. That was where she spent some of her afternoons.

"He offered her $10 grand. It was $5,000 in cash immediately if she agreed and another $5,000 later if she did Google video chats every Saturday morning for the next month. Do any of you remembering being at your grandparents for that month?" There were some quizzical looks and a nod yes from Abby. Greg chuckled. "Your grandfather said that was the best $5,000 he ever spent. She never contacted him again and your grandfather was able to move on taking care of his wife and you three."

At this point Jeannie spoke up. "I met Colleen after she moved to the Atlanta area. Dan and I were seeing each other when he got a call from Billy telling us that he'd seen my picture on Colleen's Facebook page. Dan here gently confronted me and I blew up. He walked away from me and my anger." She wiped a tear from her eyes.

"It took me 3 months to get part of my act together enough to talk with him again. It took me that long to understand what Colleen was, how it was damaging me. I also began to understand what was really important in life." She glanced at Dan and they both reached out and held hands, "She was damaging my future with this man. I wasn't growing and getting close to him. She was pulling me down. Well, I allowed her to have me sink to her level. I finally saw it.

"In that way, she brought us closer together. It still took over a year of hard work. Much more me than Dan, until we were both ready to move on with one another. Move on without any reservation." She cleared her throat and got a kiss and a hug from her husband.

"At the risk of my psycho-babble, she's got Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Before you roll your eyes, let me explain in layman's terms what it all means. This may sound a bit disjointed, so bear with me. Colleen expects to be treated better than anyone else and be treated better by everyone. She feels that she is more powerful, smarter, more cunning, more beautiful...you get the message. She deserves everything. She needs to have people admire her. She doesn't really understands or cares about one else's feelings." The three sisters, the fathers and Brad all nodded their heads in agreement. "People like this like to be in charge, to be in control. After all, they feel that they are better than anyone else. They envy any one that could be thought of as better than they are. They are entitled.

"Bigger, more powerful, smarter, more cleaver. Whatever. They really don't give a shi.." at that she stopped herself, "It doesn't matter that they take advantage of others. A standard thing they do is to tell people what they want to hear and not care if it is true or not. If it didn't happen, it's always somebody else's fault. I saw that time and time again at the hospital. I quietly distanced myself from her and made sure that anytime we worked together, I kept my eyes on her. I never gave her the medicine room keys when I was responsible. Then one day, they found some medication delivery irregularities with her patients. She was walked out the door, mid shift."

She shook her head and continued "They tell people what they want to hear. This was prime for Lyle and Greg, wasn't it? I know that it was for me too." She received two nods in reply. Greg added while Lyle nodded in agreement, "We trusted her. We believed what she said. We wanted to believe, so things that didn't add up were ignored."

Billy looked at the sisters, "Now you understand why I say check things out? Why I say pay attention to your gut? Believe people but keep something ..."

The twins were worried. No one put it in terms like this, so easy to understand. It frightened them. "What can we do about this with her?"

Greg spoke up, "There are people in life that are toxic. No one can change them from being toxic. That's what Colleen is all about."

Billy spoke, "That's the biggest problem. People like this don't think they have a problem. They think that they are OK. Everybody else is the problem. Get some people to tell them that they are great, and they're happy.

"There's no 'cure' for a narcissist, especially one as bad as Colleen. The best we can do is to protect yourself from people like this. That's why Lyle, Greg and I, or as you tell us, Dad 1, Dad 2 and Uncle B, all wanted you three to be here today. Expecially after your bombing Abby."

It became silent when Jeannie spoke again. "You all know of more people like this. You know that they can be dangerous and cannot be trusted. Their stories keep changing and they can't be depended upon. They will sacrifice anybody to stay on top, to continue to feel good, to be portray themselves as powerful. I don't have to say anything more." There were nods from the adults.

Needing a tension relief, Amber spoke up. "Uncle Billy? Is that's why we never try to bluff you in nickel and dime poker." After the raw emotions that ripped off their scabs, the group laughed. When it quieted down, Brad started. "Until yesterday morning, I was a devoted boyfriend of Colleen. And yes, I was the one who opened her car doors and shit bombed the interior of her Camry." The 3 sisters high fived each other. Turning to her fathers he said, "Sorry, but it felt so good after being manipulated and lied to by her. You don't take advantage of people." He then looked at the sisters. "She pulled me in like she did everyone else. I think that your parents and Aunts and Uncles want you to know is what you need to do to protect yourselves. She's great at manipulating people."

Greg looked around and after he got everyone's attention, he said, "We're pretty sure that she'll show up for your Grandmother's funeral wanting to get her hands on the non-existant money. I bought the house from your Grandfather years ago. So logically, this'll be the first place she'll go."