By the following weeks, I was in much better spirits. I knew I wasn't over Ethan completely. If he came over today, with a huge romantic gesture, I would live happily ever after with him. Hell, who am I kidding? He could send me a text saying he wanted to be with me, and I'd happily agree. The difference between now and when I was feeling like shit was that I no longer berated myself for being upset. Like Rocky suggested, I wallowed and now I was focusing on feeling better every day. I honestly felt like with time, I would be ok and over Ethan.
I explained this to Jordan at work when she took me on an early lunch and asked me how I was doing on. She offered to set me up when I was ready. I told her I would keep that in mind. While I was at my lunch, I checked out the text Jake sent me. We had been texting back and forth since our shopping adventure with Brandon and Rocky. When I got home from the mall, I saw I had a text from an unknown number.
It read: Let me know when you're ready to see my gun.
I laughed and replied.
Me: No thanks, I'll just ask Sammy about it.
After I sent the text, I saved Jake's number. This morning, I sent him security guard memes I found online. He texted me back immediately.
Jake: What did you score on your MCAT?
When I texted him I didn't take the MCAT, he send back a link that listed all the subjects you can get a doctorate degree in.
Jake: So all of y'all are doctors?
Me: Shut. Up.
Not gonna lie, texting him made me forget everything for a while. The one thing I really like about Jake is that I was completely not attracted to him. Yes, he is hot and has a great sense of humor: A dangerous combination to me. But he's "hanging out" with Sammy and he's a man whore who knows how attractive he is and flaunts his conquests. I could never be with a guy like that, so it was harmless to text him. He was completely safe to me and exactly what I needed to distract me from Ethan: Good friends. I considered Jordan and Jake both great new friends.
I had a missed call from Trevor as I drove home from work, so I called him back. He asked if he could drop by because he had a gift for me. I agreed, of course. Once I got home, I hopped in the shower. Afterwards, I got dressed in joggers and a tank top. When I entered my room, Trevor is already on my bed waiting for me (we have a keyless lock on the front door and Trevor knows the code.)
"Gimme gimme gimme!" I said, hopping on the bed next to him.
"So greedy." Trevor smiled at me, handing over a bag.
I reached in the bag and pulled out the Game of Thrones box set. I looked up at Trevor, confused.
"You're late, but you can jump on the Game of Thrones bandwagon. There's prequels and books, so there no 'end of an era' in sight." Trevor explained.
I smiled at him and gave him a hug. "Thanks T-rev."
"No problem." He said, hugging me back. When I pulled away, he kept an arm around me. "Besides, if this keeps you from being a mean girl, throwing glasses around, and crying, I think it's worth it." He teased me.
I grinned. "I told you I was PMSing."
"I've seen you PMSing. That's chocolate, salty food, and being lazy. This was not PMS."
I smiled, sadly. I might as well tell him. He'd figure it out eventually.
"Ethan is dating someone else. That's why I've been so out of it." I admitted to Trevor.
Trevor was quiet for a moment before he rubbed my shoulder.
"I'm sorry Lilypad. Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Do you wanna know? I know you never really liked Ethan." I accused, cocking my head to the side to look at him.
We never really talked about our relationships when we first became friends. Mostly because I didn't have any to speak of and it was a taboo subject for me. It was bad enough seeing the roster of girls he was hanging with; I didn't want to hear about it too. When we graduated and moved to Dallas, I accepted it was never going to happen between us. I dated, a lot of first dates, but nothing serious as I was swamped with work and graduate school, and I didn't meet anyone that I wanted to make time for. Trevor's sexcapades slowed down tremendously after college, so there wasn't much to tell for him either. We were able to open up to each other in a way we didn't before because we were pretty much in the same place relationship wise- not having nor wanting one.
That was until I started babysitting EJ and met Ethan. Ethan was the closest person I had to a relationship, and because Trevor knew everything that happened between Cam, Megan, and Ethan, I couldn't talk to him about. It was so hard to keep my "relationship" with Ethan a secret. When Trevor caught us, he told me how stupid I was being. He didn't give me a chance to explain our relationship, he just wanted me to end it. I didn't realize that he disliked Ethan enough to tell my brother Cam about us.
"I don't have anything against him. I don't even know him. I just never wanted to see you get hurt." Trevor explained.
"Ethan didn't hurt me." I began to realize that I hurt Ethan and myself by not telling him the truth. Maybe Rocky was right. At the very least, he deserved to know what he meant to me. Maybe even what he still means to me...
"The thing about Ethan that bothered me the most was that you were lying to me. That's not us." He said, rubbing my back and interrupting my thoughts.
"So that's why you told Cam?"
"Yeah. You know even if we don't agree, you can always come to me. We can talk about anything. When you didn't, I was worried. That's why I told Cam."
I nodded. I understood that. It was true. He used to know everything about me. Looking back, I really could have used his male opinion to figure out that Ethan did have feelings for me. Then maybe I wouldn't have blown it. I was tempted, soooo tempted, to tell him everything. I kept thinking about my brother saying I needed to talk to someone. But I don't want that to be Trevor. I can't burden him with my issues. He is my bright spot. I can't tarnish him and I couldn't stand it if he looked at me differently.
"I know T-Rev. There is really nothing to tell besides it's over between me and Ethan. I'm feeling better about it. I'm getting over it. I talked it out with Rocky. Rocky said crappy tv is part of the grieving process, so thanks for the gift." I smiled, teasingly.
"Hey now! There is nothing crappy about Game of Thrones." Trevor exclaimed.
I smirked. "It's dragons."
"Still awesome." He responded, reaching to take the box set for me so he could set it up.
"Start on the last season." I declared.
He looked confused. "Why wouldn't we start from the beginning?"
"Why do that when we can just pause it so you can explain to me what happened? " I taunted him and his less than brilliant date.
"Brat." He smiled, putting on the DVD.
We get through the first disc and I was officially hooked.
"Alright. Definitely not crappy." I stretched, as Trevor got the next disc.
"Told you." He bragged. "You should spend the weekend with me. We can binge watch and you can grieve and stuff."
"I'm over grieving and stuff. Besides, EJ's birthday party is Saturday."
"You're still going to go?"
"Yeah. I'm still going to maintain a relationship with EJ. Not going let Ethan and his stupid girlfriend stop that."
Trevor shook his head. "Doesn't sound like you're over it."
"I said I'm over grieving." I clarified.
"Well, I'll go with you."
I brightened. "Really? You would go with me?" It would be awesome to have him there. He will keep me positive. I thought about taking Sammy, but she was the one that encouraged me to sleep with Ethan. Who knows what she might say or do? And as satisfying as it would feel, I won't do that to EJ. I didn't think to invite Trevor because I believed he didn't like Ethan, but Trevor is definitely the better choice.
"Of course. There's gonna be cake right?"
I laughed. Trevor has a huge sweet tooth. "Yes."
"Then I'm there."
I smiled as we got settled on the bed. I made a lot of mistakes when I moved back to California. One of them was distancing myself from Trevor. He always brightened up even my darkest days. I could have used that in California. I grabbed his hand. He smiled at me. It gave me comfort knowing that I would never let anything come between us again.
---------------------------------
Saturday was EJ's birthday party. I was calm and collected as I reminded myself it was EJ's day. That's all that mattered. I was positive I would be fine. I planned on spending as little time with Ethan as possible and this time around, I had Trevor and Rocky to help with that.
Megan requested for Brandon, Rocky, and me to wear yellow. EJ's birthday party was at Adventure Landing. It was a smaller theme park that has go-karts, batting cages, laser tag, an arcade, mini golf and bumper boats. Megan asked earlier this week if we didn't mind helping manage the kids. EJ picked out Minions invitations, so that's why Megan wanted us to wear yellow to match the theme of the party.
I took it a step forward and paired a Despicable Me graphic tee with high waisted shortalls I borrowed from Sammy. It was silly, but I liked looking like a little minion. I brought Trevor a matching shirt and he wore it with jeans and no complaints. We rode together to the party, dancing around to the Despicable Me soundtrack to get in the party mood. When we got there, we were led to EJ's private party room. The room was filled with yellow minion balloons and yellow steamers.
"Hey you guys!" Megan greeted us. "Thank you for your help!"
Before we could respond, she put us to work setting up the table. I shook my head. This is the Megan I was used to. We removed the standard tablecloth on the table and replaced it with a Despicable Me one. Dave, Megan's boyfriend, Trevor and Brandon move tables around for cake and presents. We decorated those as well before the cake and more gifts arrived.
By the time that was done, Ethan arrived with his dad. I watched him as he dropped of presents on the table. I can't wait for the day I see him and not feel a tug on my heart. I pretty much admit defeat on that other part of my body he affects when I see him. I don't think there will be a time where I'm not attracted to him, but I can live with that. I can't live with my heart hurting.
"Hey Minion! Get back to work!" Trevor said, disrupting my staring at Ethan by bumping into me playfully. I stuck my tongue out at him and smiled.
"Oh wow. I didn't even notice. You're dressed like a minion." Megan said, looking me over with a smile.
"Yeah, I figured it's appropriate." I shrugged.
"I love it. I should have had you all dressed like that." Megan mentioned.
