"Dad? It's Abby."
"Where are you? We've been worried and none of your friends knew where you were. You could have at least told me you were going to take my car."
"Dad, I'm in Gadsden Alabama, near the Georgia border. I got a flat tire and couldn't get a replacement. The shops are closed now but they'll be open first thing in the morning."
"You didn't go to try to ..."
"Yes Dad. But I didn't see her."
He waited a few seconds and when there was nothing forth coming he exhaled loudly and said "Tell me you didn't do it. Please tell me you didn't do it."
Abby laughed and her father groaned. With resignation in his voice he said, "You shit bombed your mother."
"No Dad, I did not shit bomb my mother. My mother is probably sitting right next to you trying to hear what her daughter is saying. So put me on speaker so I can speak to both my parents." She couldn't see the smile on their faces, but she knew that they both beamed whenever she said that.
"I did more than shit bomb the bitch. It was even better than that. Way fu... I mean way fricking better." Abby giggled. "I ran into the latest nice guy she was stringing along. He stopped me when I was standing in front of her car with the 5 gallons of pig shit. He got me to talk about why. Then I showed him the papers and he looked them up on the web site.
"After all was said and read..." Abby was so excited that she had to stop to catch her breath, "By the way, thank you so much on the web sites to get the bitch's Court papers." With that, Abby let out a loud, warm and happy laugh.
"He tried to get a hold of her at work where she said she said she was going to be. Guess what he found out." He father groaned. He knew the routine even though for him that was 18 years ago right after Abby was born. "Then he had me call her number 'cause she wouldn't know my phone number. Her working late at the nursing home put her at a C&W dance bar." Abby exhaled. "She's still the same asshole she always was.
"I did more than shit bomb the bitch. He opened her car doors and then he splattered the insides with half the bucket of pig shit, ripe liquidly pig shit from the Hanson's pig farm. He wanted that honor. Then he broke off part of the key she gave him into her apartment lock. I left to get back home after that."