As he lay his tired body to rest. His weak and pale body, so drained for energy. So damaged from endless painful years of sickness. He is so tired of the reality of pain. So much he wish he could leave reality to itself. Wish he could escape into his own private world. A world were he would not be sick. A place were his appearance is not regarded as repulsive. A place of love instead of pity.
He tries to turn to his side but his damaged lungs can not conjure the air for him to do so. Even as he settles back onto his back they let out a weak and painful wheeze, making cold sweat break out on his forehead.
He can't help to think: What have I done to deserve this? What part of my life did God hate so much he would put upon me the pains of Job?
As usual there is no answer to be found. There is only more questions to be asked.
He barely notice the nurse entering his room. Even though he knows it's that time of the night. Neither does he notice the needle penetrate his arm. He only knows It is the bringer of peace. He only knows It will bring something better and allow him to escape reality.
As the drugs start to burn his veins, a smile appears on his face. He is on the path. And as he allows himself to dive deep into oblivion, he sets his mind free.
The warm rays of sun caresses his face. He feels free and happy. Nothing comes close to this feeling. Freedom. Being able to do whatever he likes.
This summerday is perfect in every way. Just sitting here on the curb, watching the busy life around him, brings him joy. He doesn't quite know why this day is special. There is just a feeling in his body who tells him that is so.
Well, one can't sit around feeling happy all day, and not do anything about it. So he decides to stroll down to the harbour. On a day like this, there is bound to be something happening there.
He was right. The harbour is busy with life. He likes it a lot, even more the approving looks from the young girl walking around the pier.
Well he guesses they find him attractive, as he does them. He flashes warm smile at them, and even makes some of them blush a little. This only makes him smile even more.
His body demands a cool beverage. This hot summer day brings on his thirst, and he decides to go buy a cold coke. There is a nice little snackbar at the end of the pier. A perfect place to sit and have a drink.
He places himself at an empty table and waves the waitress over. She is a beautiful blond girl with a slim athletic body. And he notice that he is not the only one eyeing her. The girl don't seem to mind the attention though. She just takes orders and smiles at every customer.
While he waits for his drink he lets his eyes wander over the people occupying the other tables. Some young teenagers, others older. But all with a happy and satisfied expression on their faces. He turns his attention to rolling waves admiring the way the blue sea reflect the surrounding world. Become relaxed by watching the everlasting sea.
The waitress brings him his drink and asks if he needs anything else. He could think of a thing or two he would like to explore with her, but politely shakes his head instead.
The beverage slides down his throat, making him close his eyes in enjoyment. Just what he needed.
Suddenly he sees her. A revelation of beauty and perfection. Long red and curly hair falling over her shoulders. Flawless smooth skin with a pale complexion, which matches perfectly with her red hair and dazzling green eyes. Dressed in a cream coloured summerdress which reveals enough of her perfect looking body to start the imagination, but not enough for any kind of disclosure. Her long shapely legs carried her with grace through the tables.
God. Never before had he seen a girl looking so beautiful as her.
A shooting pain in his right arm brings his attention back instantly. In fear he watches his arm crumble into a claw, turning all numb making him twist his face in pain.
The nurse silently curses. "Shit." As she realises that she has pulled the patients drop from his arm. The patient is heavily sedated but he moans in pain anyway.
The nurse quickly replaces the needle in his right arm. God, he is thin. She thinks.
Carefully examining the patient, she looks at his face for the first time. His face is so thin and hollow looking. His eyes has fallen so far back in his skull that he looks more like a decaying skeleton than a man.
She quickly leaves his room trying to shake the sight of him.
The pain subsides and his arm is once again perfectly normal. He flexes his fingers a few times just to make sure they are all working properly.
It was like a reminder of something. The pain brought on a feeling he couldn't quite define. But he didn't like it.
He looks up and right into those dazzling green eyes, belonging to that stunningly beautiful girl. And she asks. "Are you all right?"
She hates her life. Bound to a wheelchair, crippled and ugly.
She had been a promising youth at 16. Beautiful and well liked wherever she went. She actually had to fight off the boys sometimes. Never having any difficulties getting a date.
A car accident changed all that.
One rainy evening she was hit by a car from behind, sending her sprawling through the air like a doll. Crushing her spine to dust.
Three long years in traction and endless surgery couldn't do anything for her. At first she had been paralyzed from the neck down. Unable to control her body, and not even knowing when she had soiled herself. It was degrading and painful.
Today she had gotten the use of her arms back. But the rest of her body remained numb. She had once tried to finger herself but her sex was dead. She had not felt a thing.
Her popularity had died with her body. Her friends stopped calling and the boys never looked her way any more. After a while she started to isolate herself, never going out and never having visitors. Now she was truly alone.
Her only contact with the world was through television and what she could see through her window. A hired help came twice a week with groceries and once every second week to clean. Other than that she was left by herself. Not even family came knocking anymore.
Her only escape was her medication. She still had raging pains in her back, and the doctor prescripted small doses of morphine for her pain.
Today she was addicted to the drug. It send her flying into a world where she could walk. Where she was the beautiful woman she would have become, had fate treated her differently.
The pier looked great, as usual. She strolled casually down the street, letting her long legs gracefully carry her along the way. She let her hair fall down over her shoulders, letting it catch the eyes of the young men.
She loved that feeling and it always made her smile happily. This warm summers day especially. She had that special feeling in her body. There was definitely something going on today. Something good was going to happen to her.
The people walking around her all looked so happy and it made her smile even more. This was a very very good day
The snackbar at the end of the pier, her favourite place, was crammed with people as always. She really liked to sit there and watch people walking by. Sometimes chatting with them as well. It was a nice way to relax and a great way to meet people.
She quickly scanned the tables around the snackbar. Young couples holding hand, business men having a break from the mill and others just like her just enjoying the day.
She moved between the tables feeling the young guys eyes on her. Some of them even while they were holding their girlfriends hands. She didn't mind the attention but the girlfriends might think differently. She didn't care. Why should she, these guys were not her boyfriends.
She noticed a young man sitting alone at one of the tables. He was looking at the ocean while sipping a coke. He looked beautiful. Short dark hair, perfectly trimmed. He had a strong set jaw which made him look like a moviestar. She wondered why he sat there all alone. Everybody else had a partner with them. Or was occupied by something else. This guy didn't seem to have either.
He turned his head and she saw his eyes. Beautiful brown eyes, warm and friendly. She had always had a weakness to eyes. And a pair as his could steal away her attention to the world around her. Only noticing him.
It looked like he had noticed her as well. He was looking her way like no one had looked at her before. She was glad that he'd noticed her. Judging by the look on his face he also thought her beautiful.
Suddenly he buckled over. Obviously in pain. His friendly eyes became hard and shocked. What was the matter, she thought with genuine concern. He looked down on his arm. She couldn't see his arm herself. But whatever he saw added fear to his already painfilled eyes.
Without even thinking about it she walked over to his table. He didn't notice her standing in front of him. He was totally focused on his arm. She couldn't see what was wrong, even standing here in front of him. But no one had to feel that kind of pain on a day like this.
Suddenly it looked like the pain subsided, and he let out a sigh of relief. Still genuinely concerned she asked.
"Are you all right?"
He looked into her eyes and smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking." He motioned her to sit down, so she sat.
"You looked really bad there for a minute." Those eyes really had her attention.
"I guess so. But I honestly don't know what it was. I've never felt anything like it before." She nodded. "But you're okay now?" Now he nodded. "Don't worry I'm fine."
