Matchmaer

Disclaimers

If you find any errors, please remember that I am striving to include something for everyone, and some people are always looking for mistakes.

This is a story. It is not a story about what you would do in this situation, or even what you think should be done. There would be no point in writing a story where everyone's reaction is the same. This overlooks the individuality of the characters and what they, as created by the author, would do. That may not align with what you would do. Please try to keep that in mind when reading.

Word Count: 8,050

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MATCHMAKER

Not one more day.

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I stared at the coffin as it sat on the small hoist that would ultimately lower her into the ground. It seemed inconceivable that my once-vibrant sister lay in that...that box.

"Fucking cancer," I muttered, doubtful that anyone could hear me.

The day was cloudy and cool, which seemed like it struck just the right chord. Annie was the last of my immediate family. My parents had both passed several years ago, having already been in their 40's when I was born. Hell, Annie was a senior in high school, and she was more like a mother to me than a sister. My parents relied heavily on her, not having the stamina to keep up with an energetic little boy.

I was only peripherally aware of the others at the burial site. I know some people spoke to me and I even answered them, but I couldn't tell you who they were or what they said, or what I said in response. I was numb. She had gone so quickly. I quit my job and became her full-time caregiver. We had each gotten a sizable inheritance from our parents so there was more than enough to cover the bills for a while without me working.

I don't know how long I stood there but it must have been awhile because I soon realized that I was alone. Well, except for one person, and she had chosen now to approach me. She was as pretty as ever, standing just 5'2" tall with long, straight brown hair that hung to her ass when she didn't have it pulled up in some way.

"Ethan, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks Bren. And thanks for coming."

"Of course. She meant a lot to me, too."

"I know. I just can't believe she's gone, you know."

I felt her hand go to my shoulder. Her touch was gentle and comforting, but then it always had been.

"She's in a better place now. She's not suffering anymore."

"I keep telling myself that, but I can't help but wish she was still here. I guess I'm selfish."

"No, Ethan, you're perfectly normal."

"Uh, there's a reception back at her house. The ladies from her church auxiliary are putting out some food. You're invited, of course."

"Thank you, I'll be there."

"I'd like to be alone with her for a few minutes."

"Sure. I'll see you there. Is there anything you need before I go?"

"No thanks."

I heard her take a few steps in the other direction. I called out to her without turning to look.

"Brenly?"

"Yes, Ethan."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

I waited a few minutes, then turned and watched her until she was out of sight. I heard her car start and after several seconds the sound of her engine was gone, replaced only by the wind in the trees and an otherwise eerie silence.

"Just you and me now, sis."

I sat down on one of the chairs that had been provided by the cemetery. It was white and made of wood, and several of them were scattered around the burial site.

"There was a good turnout. I sometimes forgot how popular you were. Even Mrs. Hagerty was here. God, she seemed ancient when I was a kid and she looks exactly the same now."

I looked around the grounds and there was not a soul in sight. I could see my car parked in the distance but that was the only other sign of life within my field of vision. The tops of the trees moved steadily under the influence of the wind, and the occasional leaf lost the battle and fluttered to the ground.

"Brenly was here. It was good to see her. It's been a while and I didn't realize how much I missed her. For some reason, it made me think about that time that time the three of us went to that beach. Remember, we went walking past that rock outcropping and right smack into that clothing-optional beach. I tell you, I never expected to see my own sister's bare breasts. I'm pretty sure I was red all day long and it had nothing to do with the sun."

I sat with Annie for another 30 minutes or so. I talked to her as if she was sitting right there, which to my mind she was. Just because she wasn't standing next to me didn't mean she wasn't there. We shared stories, and I commented that it was about time she let me get a word in edgewise. By the end of it I was lying on the grass parallel to her gravesite. I heard footsteps, which I think were the funeral people wanting to clean up, but they gave me my time, and I really appreciated it.

Finally, I excused myself.

"Got a bunch of people at your house waiting for me. But I'll be back as often as I can. At least once a week, okay? I promise."

I stood up and looked at the gravesite for another minute or so and then made the short walk to my car so I could make the drive to my sister's house. Well, I guess it was my house now but I'd have trouble thinking of it as anything but Annie's house. She had given it to me, along with everything else she owned. We were the last remaining family for each other so we were both the sole beneficiary in each other's wills. Too bad I didn't own anything worth a damn. Well, until now.

Up until I moved to my sister's house to take care of her I had lived in a one-bedroom apartment with bachelor furniture, and I'm sure you all have an idea of what that means. I had left it by the curb when I packed the place up and most of it was gone by the end of the day, and all of it by the next afternoon when I finally left.

I pulled into Annie's...my...the driveway and sat in silence for a moment. I know these types of things are traditional and expected, but I really wanted to be alone. I guess people figured there would be enough of that in the long run, so they were here for me in the short term. I appreciated it, I really did.

I slowly opened the door, and the chatter that had been prevalent before I opened it came to a halt and everyone looked at me. I guess I should say something, I thought.

"I...just want to thank everyone for coming out to say goodbye to Annie. You know she loved all of you and would have been delighted at the turnout. It makes me feel better to know that so many people loved my sister. She wouldn't want this to be too much of a somber occasion, so smile. Tell funny stories about her. She would have wanted a celebration of her life, not a mourning of her death. Again, thank you all for being here."

I made the rounds even though I didn't want to. I tried to at least say hello to everyone, and got drawn into a few brief conversations in the process. I watched as Brenly served as a sort-of hostess, taking care of some of the more elderly attendees. Annie had been a favorite among her local elderly neighbors for her willingness to help them out with rides and tasks around the house as needed.

I was standing nearby when Brenly brought the aforementioned Mrs. Hagerty a glass of sweet tea and a small plate of crackers.

"I'm so glad to see you and Ethan back together again," Mrs. H said to Brenly. "I was so sad when you two split up."

Brenly put on a wry smile.

"We're not back together, Mrs. Hagerty. We're still divorced. I'm just here helping out."

"Oh, that's a shame. You two were so good together."

"Thank you. That's very kind of you."

Brenly caught my eye as she turned away, giving me a shrug of her shoulders and a 'what are you gonna do' look. I returned a small smile then went back to the conversation I was having.

Once I was fairly certain I had chatted with, or at least greeted, everyone in attendance, I slowly made the way to my bedroom. Mine in the sense that it was where I had been sleeping while staying with Annie, though it was mine now in the very real sense as well. I stripped off my tie and tossed my suit jacket across a nearby chair.

Before I moved in the room had been entirely functional and plain, having been used as a guest room. Annie encouraged me to make it my own so I had put some prints on the wall and painted it a light gray. I found a couple sets of sheets and a comforter to add some color to the room. And yes, there was a picture of Brenly on the wall. It was a shot of us in happier times, smiling for the camera and expecting to be together forever. That obviously didn't work out, though my anger at her had been gone for some time now.

After about 30 minutes there was a light tap on the door, and it opened without awaiting a response. I was not surprised to see Brenly coming through the door.

"How're you holding up?"

"Okay, I guess. Just needed to be alone."

"I won't stay but a minute. Do you need anything to eat or drink?"

"No, thank you."

"Well, I have my phone and I brought yours in from the counter where you left it," she said while handing it to me. "If you need anything just shoot me a text, okay?"

"Sure. Thanks again, Bren."

She smiled and then quietly made her exit. I looked around the room, though not really looking at anything. It seemed inconceivable to me that a woman so full of life was gone. The house was empty without her, and I wondered how I'd ever be able to stay here. But it was her pride and joy, and she had worked hard to be able to buy it, so the thought of selling it appalled me as well. I decided to leave that for another time.

After about 30 minutes I went back into the living room and made the rounds again. I didn't feel like it but everyone was being so kind and supportive I would have felt like an ass not making some attempt to be sociable. I shared a few anecdotes with her friends and it actually felt pretty good to laugh. It brought Annie back to life for just a few minutes.

Eventually the guests started to filter out. I made a point of saying goodbye to each person and thanking them for being there. We had a few late arrivals as well but they were mostly folks who only had the time to stop in and express their condolences. I thanked them also for making time in their busy schedules. It says a lot that so many people wanted to pay Annie their respects.

Through it all, Brenly stayed. She helped me clean up the house, deflecting all my insistence that she could leave and I'd take care of the clean-up. For me, it simply felt good to be doing something. I didn't just stop at the plates and glasses and silverware. I pulled out the vacuum and went over every square inch of carpet, then pulled out the Swiffer and did the same with every inch of hard floor. I was in a manic state, like if I somehow got the house clean enough it would bring her back.

It didn't.

We snacked on the leftovers from the afternoon gathering whenever we felt a little hungry, and then we finally got exhausted enough to just sit. We were at opposite ends of the couch, and I reflexively picked up one of her feet and started massaging it. I did it all the time when we were married and I needed something to do with my hands, and this was as good a choice as any.

"That feels good, Ethan. Thank you."

"Thank you for being here and helping out. I don't think I could have made it without you."

"I was happy to do it."

My massage worked its way up to her slim, smooth calves. We talked for a while, mostly reminiscing about Annie. We had all spent quite a lot of time together when Brenly and I were married. They were each the sister the other never had, and Annie was almost as devastated as I was when I found out about Brenly's extramarital experience. They had remained close, though things were still a little strained until Annie got sick.

As the evening grew late and my massage of her legs continued, Brenly started to nod off. I gently suggested she stay the night rather than trying to drive home, and she agreed that would be best. She hadn't brought a change of clothes so I loaned her a robe and a t-shirt and then tossed her clothes in the washer so she'd have something to wear tomorrow.

"I'm gonna sleep in Annie's room tonight. You can have my room," I told her.

Brenly smiled and took her things into her room. I went into Annie's room and just stood there for a minute. You might think I'm crazy but I could totally feel Annie's presence in there with me. Not like she was there watching me, but more that I could feel her in the room. It gave me some comfort, but it didn't help me sleep.

I heard Brenly's shower turn on, and I listened in silence. Having both showered with her and watched her shower when we were married, I had a pretty good idea of what it would look like, and I admit to giving myself a mental picture of it. Brenly was still the most beautiful woman I had ever met.

Once I heard Brenly's shower turn off, I turned mine on and did the same. I pulled on some clean boxers and laid in bed, but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. It didn't make sense because I was completely exhausted. Maybe my mind was simply keeping itself too busy but I just couldn't seem to settle down. I took advantage of the time to just think about Brenly.

We married young, but we were so in love we just couldn't wait any longer. She was just 21 and I was 23 on the day of the wedding. We had thought we'd be together forever. Forever turned out to be just 3 years, and the divorce had been final 3 years ago. Annie had died just after I turned 29.

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I woke up in the middle of the night with an arm draped over my shoulder and Brenly's body pressed up against mine. When we had been married, Brenly slept on the left and I was on the right, and since then I still slept on the same side. So, when Brenly cuddled against me, the entire left side of the bed was still empty.

By the time the sun came up, Brenly had moved back toward her side of the bed. I flipped over on to my right side and watched her. She looked so peaceful and I just stared at her for probably 30 minutes. I heard her breathing change and knew she was waking up. Her eyes eased open.

"You're watching me sleep."

"I know. I haven't had the chance in a while. I thought you were going to sleep in the other room?"

"That's what you were supposed to think. What're we doing today?"

"I didn't really have a plan. I wasn't expecting you to stay so I was just going to hang out here."

"I can do that."

"You don't have anything better to do?"

"You just lost your sister, Ethan. The one person that always kept you grounded. I just want to make sure you're going to be okay. If you want me to leave, I'll leave, but I think the company would do you good."

I thought about that for a minute. From a mental health perspective, she was probably right. In my mind I just wanted to be alone, but that was not the best choice, and I knew it.

"How about lunch and then a movie?" I suggested.

"You pick lunch, I'll pick the movie."

Just like when we were together. I'm not sure I ever saw a movie with Brenly that I had actually chosen to see. That was fine with me; I was more interested in the company than what was on the screen.

Lunch was at a family-owned Mexican restaurant I had become fond of since moving in with Annie. It was called El Jardin (The Garden) and specialized in vegetarian versions of classic dishes, though they had meat-filled options as well. I had come to order the chicken Chile relleno with black beans and Spanish rice on the side. Brenly ordered cheese enchiladas.

As we snacked on the complimentary chips and salsa, Brenly extended her right hand across the table and I instinctively took it with my left, and there they stayed until the entrees were delivered. I had missed that feeling.

Our seats on the movie theater were in the back, again being Brenly's preference. We shared a small popcorn but each had our own drink. I tended to drink a lot during movies, often even taking advantage of the free refill for large drinks this theater had, so that I didn't share. Brenly knew this and ordered her own soda without asking. Besides, I didn't like diet soda.

I dozed off because one minute the hero and his girlfriend were running around on the beach, and then they were getting married with their previously warring families celebrating together. I hadn't slept very well so I suppose falling asleep in the dark during a movie that failed to hold my interest wasn't exactly a surprise.

"Sleep well," asked a grinning Brenly when the lights came up. "I had to give you a little shove when the snoring got a little loud."

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I was tired."

"It's okay. I'm glad you could get some more sleep. Come on, let's go."

By that time, I was awake enough that I wasn't stumbling out of the theater. We made our way out to the car, my hand locked again in Brenly's. How did she keep doing that without me noticing? I opened her door and closed it after she was seated, and she had leaned over to open mine as I made my way to the driver's side. My dad had once told me that was a sure sign that a girl was interested in you.

"Where to now?" I asked.

"I'd like to just go back to the house and relax, maybe watch some TV, unless there's something you'd like to do. Later I can throw together a dinner from the leftovers."

That sounded better than any idea I had so I started the car and pointed it toward home. We flopped on to the couch and found a baseball game on. Soon we were both laying on the couch, with her in front and me spooning behind her, both on our left side. She had her right hand resting on her right hip, and my hand was on top of hers.

We were mostly quiet for the rest of the game. I know I was drifting in and out of semi-sleep and I'm pretty sure Brenly was doing the same thing. After the Sox polished off the Yankees it was approaching dinnertime so Brenly extricated herself from her spot on the couch and went into the kitchen to see what she could put together.

I got up myself, used the restroom to rid myself of the gallon or so of soda I had consumed at the theater, and then took a seat at the dining room table, which was just off the kitchen.

"Why, Brenly?"

"Why what, Ethan?" she answered, never taking her eyes off the food she was working with.

"Bren," I said, and waited.

She turned to look at me.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Oh, that why. I guess we never really talked about this."

She kept talking as she stuck a plate of food into the microwave, covering it carefully with a damp paper towel to keep the food covered and retain some of the moisture.

"We were so young, Ethan. I was barely 21 and no way was I ready to be a married woman. I think if we had just kept dating longer everything would have been fine, but there was something about that piece of paper that started to feel, I don't know, restricting I guess."

"You never said anything."

"I don't know if I even realized it then. It was a feeling but not something I could put into words. Suddenly I was a wife and I figured I'd be a mother soon. It was like I went from being a carefree girl to being my mom, and it scared me. I mean, I loved my mom but to me she was old, and now I was becoming her. Does that make sense?"

"Actually, it does."

She pulled one plate from the microwave and put the second plate in, then delivered the first plate to me. A glass of ice water soon followed.

"I should have talked to you but I didn't. I'm not sure I would've known what to say anyway. We were married for 3 years, Ethan, and every single day it felt like the walls were closing in a little closer. What I did was wrong, Ethan. No one will argue that. I felt my youth, my freedom, slipping away. It terrified me, and Charlie felt like a way to hang on to that."