Marcie and Leo

Marcie and I have moments sometimes.

There were always times when Marcie and I were just holding each other. I love holding Marcie in my arms. There is something powerful about this magnificent woman allowing me to hold her. I love the feeling of how her smile makes me feel worthy. This probably sounds like the biggest amount of mush. I own it. I have no problem having the mush when it comes to Marcie because she is amazing and every moment she is in my arms is a gift.

Throughout our relationship, from friendship to marriage, we have had a graduating level of comfort with each other. When our spouses were with us before their passing, we would have time together where we'd talk about different things depending on what the mood was. There were many times Mitch and I would talk on our own while the ladies were in the pool having a different conversation. I later found out that the ladies would talk when I was at work and Mitch was doing other things. It was these conversations when Missy would tell Marcie about some of the things we did, and Marcie would find out things about me I would later be scared to share with her.

When we started seeing each other as friends after our spouses' passing, we would have our separation when we needed to grieve or handle things. There were always times around those moments when we would be with each other just to check on things and to make sure we were both doing all right. I always made sure Marcie was okay and vice versa. Cancer is cruel and the fact it was decided to take both of our spouses was a cruel trick and one which it deserves no mercy for. Marcie and my friendship during the process and the aftermath was a giant "fuck you" to it because we were not defeated when it happened.

It was when our relationship evolved that it felt stronger. As many times as I have shared the naughtier times (during the Good Neighbor series), there were many more times when it was just us holding each other. No matter what we were doing or what was going on, there was always time for us to hold each other. There was always a comfort when it happened. There were always those moments.

One of the things I dislike though is when the moments don't happen due to life's circumstances. When Marcie takes her time to visit her sisters or when I am going through long projects at work, the moments are not as plentiful. Yet, there are the times after when we hug, we kiss for a little bit, and we simply get to the couch and hold each other where it feels like there was never a break in the comfort. It is an extra bit of motivation in a way to get home. It reminds me of that song "Running Home to You" because every time I get in my car after work, that's all I can think about. All I can think about is getting home, parking the car, opening the door and sliding into Marcie's arms.

It's funny when we are over next door at Aubrey's place. The same chairs that Missy and I bought for the pool are there. Yet, Aubrey and Wes notice that Marcie always chooses to sit in my lap when we visit. There are times Marcie goes with Aubrey to help with stuff and Wes and I converse about different things. But every time Marcie walks back in, her preferred spot always seems to be my lap and my arms around her.

Even when I'm at the office and Marcie visits, we always end up in my office and always end up on my couch holding each other when there's a quiet moment. It almost feels like sometimes that there's a gravitational pull when we are in the same room that draws us to each other, so we are holding each other.

There has always been talk about the nickname most folks have given Marcie since we became an item. It's never said out loud when we're around, but she was known as "the One who tamed the Lion." It is a reference to what happened when I came back to work in the office after my bereavement which lasted a few months thanks to Matt. The first days back, there was evidence that I had changed during that time. I wasn't the same Leo that the employees knew. And it was when she walked through the door that day and I ran down to see her and bring her to my office that folks saw the difference. It was like Marcie was the best mood enhancer on the planet.

It sounds like I am whipped. I am a better man because of Marcie. Missy, my late wife, encouraged me to be driven. She encouraged me to push forward knowing that she had me when I arrived home and didn't have to share me with the world. Marcie encourages me to allow the world to see my heart. She has shown me throughout the time with her that it's okay to show my heart because when I am with her, she protects me. Even though I was known for being "Matt's Enforcer" at times and I have protected the honor of the ones I hold dear to my heart, she is my protector.