He lay on his bed, lost in his thoughts. Should he go to her and try to win her over or should he be the honorable gentleman? She had a family she loved... a husband and two boys. He didn't want to take anything away from her, or take her from anything... but he wanted her. 17 years ago he had wanted her. Since then, he had never NOT wanted her. For the last 15 years, with no contact between them, he had never stopped thinking about her, no matter how much he wanted to. They had never been lovers but she was the one that he had always wanted to have had as his lover. Other women had to be compared against his memory of her and they all came up short. He honestly did not know what to do.
The knock at his door surprised him. He wasn't expecting anyone and very few people knew where he was. He got up and looked out of the peep hole in the door and there she was, standing in that sickly light which surrounds every hotel room door. She stared to raise her hand to knock again, but then turned to walk away before she did. Morgan quickly opened the door to let her know that he was there.
"Maddie?"
She paused and then slowly turned back to him. Her smile was almost painful as she looked up at him.
"May I come in?"
"Wha...? Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. Come in."
He stood back to let her enter then room and shut the door behind him. He didn't lock it because he was afraid of making her nervous. He didn't know why she had come there but he didn't want her to run away. It was like standing in a clearing in the woods when a beautiful deer was walking up to you. You want to reach out and touch it but you know that if you do you will just spook it and it will bolt away, leaving you alone and with a hole in your soul where it almost touched you.
She looked around the room and set her purse down on the little table by the window, but she didn't take off her coat. She wasn't looking at him and was just standing there in silence as he watched her.
"Morgan... I shouldn't be here. I knew that as I drove over here. I love my husband and I love my children, but I needed to talk to you again."
She turned to look at him. Her eyes, as always tore through him to the very core of his soul.
"You know that there can never be an 'us', you and I. You know that, don't you?"
"Yes, of course I do. I'm sorry I asked you to see me this afternoon. God, what was I thinking? After 15 years? It wasn't fair of me. I know why you are here. Don't worry. I won't bother you any more. I won't even take the job here."
Her head cocked just a little to the side as she looked at him. So intelligent, but so naΓ―ve. He was a good man, but the time had long since passed when they could have been together as a couple. Part of her regretted that.
"Shhh. You don't know why I am here, do you?"
He stared at her in confusion... his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish breathing.
She walked towards him, pulling off her coat as she did. He couldn't help but notice the blouse she wore, the cleavage it showed, the curve of her breasts underneath. It was a man's shirt but worn as only a woman could wear it. It was tucked inside the medium length skirt she wore, just long enough to cover the top of the boots that covered her feet and legs. It was cold outside and she was dressed appropriately for the weather, but the look was one of sensuality. The clothes which fully covered her body did nothing to conceal her radiance or her sexuality.
"Morgan. I am here for a reason. It just isn't the reason you think it is. I am here for you. Just this once, but I think that you need this. And, maybe, just a little bit, so do I. I have had a lot of sex in my life, several times that I wish I hadn't. Being with you, however, is the only sex I regret not having. But I didn't come here for me. You need to get over me, get past me so that you can find someone for you, someone who can be yours."
Maddie looked up at him. She reached her hands out to take his face between them and pulled his lips down to hers. The first kiss was gentle, soft. He began to wonder which of them was the frightened deer... but he already knew the answer to that.
"Morgan, I need you to trust me. You have told me that you trust me and I need you to prove it. Let me take care of you this one time, just this once. I won't hurt you in any way, but this time will be all that we can have together. I'll be your friend forever, but I will only be yours for this short time. Do you trust me? Will you let me do this for you?"
His mind was at a loss for something to say which would not make him sound stupid. In the end, he just nodded his head and said "Yes".
She spoke so softly that he could almost only hear the words in his heart. "Thank you." She then pulled his face to hers again and kissed him again. The kiss lasted longer this time and grew in passion and intensity. Morgan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her body close to his, lifting her off of the ground as he straightened up. Maddie placed her arms around his neck to support herself and wrapped her legs around his waist as they stood there kissing, their passion growing with each moment.
Morgan's hands moved down to hold her ass and support her. She pulled her mouth from his and looked into his eyes. She could see him fighting within himself to not say anything, and knowing that he would.
"Maddie, I love you."
She smiled at this, but said nothing in return. She put her feet back on the ground, took his hand in hers and led him to the bed. Turning him around, she gently pushed him back until he sat down on the bed as she looked down at him. Once he was seated, she climbed over him, with one leg on either side of his hips as she straddled him, her skirt going around where their bodies joined.
"Shhhhh."
And then she leaned forward to kiss him again. As they kissed, her tongue moved out to lick across his, as if to ask for him to open them for her. He parted his lips a little and her tongued moved in to touch his. Their tongues caressed each other in a dance of passion as she pressed her body against his. Their breathing quickened and their soft moans of pleasure became a symphony. Maddie used her tongue to lure his into her mouth and as it entered hers, she brought her lips against it so that she could suck it into her mouth. Morgan's hands pulled her hips down so she pressed into him, so that she could feel his hardness for her. Their kiss was like memories and promises at the same time. Her legs pressed in against his as she ground herself down onto him. He could feel her wetness through her panties as it moistened his pants beneath her.
She moved her kisses from his mouth, to his cheek, to his neck. Remembering from all those years ago how much that affected him. She nibbled and bit lightly at his neck, enjoying the sounds of his breathing as it grew more ragged, his soft moans of pleasure, know that they were for her, because of her. She kissed her way to his ear and whispered to him.
"Do you need help moving forward from here? What do you want now?"
"I... I... I want to see you."
She sat up and gently pushed on his shoulders until he was laying back on the bed. Ever so gently she moved her hips back and forth to rub herself against him as she sat astride him looking down at him.
"Talk to me, Morgan. What do you want? What do you want to do?"
"Oh god, I wish I had the courage."
"It's ok, tell me. The courage to do what?"
"To reach up, to unbutton your... so I could see... Maddie, I'm sorry I'm so weak, so scared."
"Shhh, it's alright. You're doing fine."
As her hips moved back and forth, as she felt his hardness pressing up against her, she reached up and slowly began to unbutton her shirt for him, enjoying him watching her. She knew the power she had over him right now, the control, but she knew how he had been hurt in the past. She knew how much he needed to trust someone. This wasn't about power or control. It was about healing. He needed her right now, just as he had needed her that night 15 years ago when she had turned him away.
Ever so slowly she would open one button at a time. Her eyes never left his, holding them, challenging his desire to watch as she revealed more of her body to his view. His hands came up to her hips and held on to her as she revealed just that little bit more of herself to him every few seconds. She really wasn't here for her own pleasure. This wasn't about her, but she felt herself growing more and more aroused. Her nipples hardened, her juices flowed and she pressed down harder on him as she moved her hips. She liked the way he felt beneath her. For a moment she lost herself in her own pleasure, forgot where she was. Then she remembered, and she was back.
She took his hands from her hips and moved them to the last two button on her shirt. This was something which he needed to do for himself, a line he needed to cross on his own. She moved her hands behind her and rested them on his legs as she gentely moved her hips over him. She could feel his body shake and his hands tremble as he undid the last two bottons, but he did not pull her shirt open. She smiled down at him to show him how happy she was right now. She teased him with the glimpses of her which the strategically cllinging shirt provided of what was underneath... the whiteness of her skin, the swell of her breasts. She smiled a little when she saw his eyes register that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath the shirt. She took his hands and placed them on her waist, inside of the shirt, on her bare skin.
"It's alright. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you."
She placed her hands on his chest as she began to unbutton his shirt. Ever so gently she moved her hips back and forth on his hardness as she opened his shirt. He had a t-shirt on but she pulled that up so that she could see his chest, run her hands over it.
"I like this. Not too much hair but not smooth. You have just the right amount of hair on your chest, Morgan. Has anyone ever told you that before?"