Life had been so good. Anthony Brooks had a nice office job, a boss that felt he could do no wrong, and the salary to more than support himself. That didn't even mention his home life, where he lived in a gorgeous two-story home with his gorgeous wife, Carolyn. All of that, and anything else he might need at the age of 27.
But that was life five years ago. When it had been good. In those five years, Anthony watched as every beautiful grain of his life slipped from between his fingers. The company he worked through suffered a lawsuit and he was one of the first workers to be fired. With the job went the money, and eventually with the money went the house. Carolyn was there through all of it. She was loyal above everything else. She, however, couldn't be there through it all. She had contracted some rare form of cancer, one that Anthony could hardly bring himself to think of. It started in her bone marrow, but it spread so fast. Without the comfort of money, her treatments were too expensive. Before they turned 30, she was gone. Anthony could remember the moment he watched life fade from her once bright brown eyes, now dimmed in her weakened state.
That had nearly killed him. Anthony could still remember looking through every cabinet in the apartment they'd moved to, wanting every single pill to take away the pain and send him back to Carolyn. He was so close. Then, he woke up in the bright antiseptic white lights of a hospital. A few weeks of recovery and a permanent therapy plan meant that suicide wasn't going to work.
So it seemed that 32 was due to be just like 31. He'd celebrated the last birthday in the hospital after his attempt, but now on his 32nd birthday, he sat at the kitchen table, arms resting on the table and sitting in the dim apartment lighting.
He hated this apartment. The barren and empty walls. He knew Carolyn would've decorated by now, considering he'd moved from their apartment nearly six months ago. Yet, he couldn't motivate himself to do so. Everything he owned had a distinctly Carolyn-esque style to it and it caused him to want to leave it all. They all had connections though, so he'd keep it for himself.
Rent was coming up soon. Anthony worked some odd jobs that would pay this month, but he needed to find a consistent place of employment. He'd put it off for a while, but he knew it was time. He weakly promised that he would go on the job hunt soon. He had credentials and qualifications, but he didn't know where he'd end up after all.
As the clock wound down on the day, Anthony laid his head in his arms. Most would cry, but he'd dried himself out at this point. No tears for Carolyn. Just memories. His thinning, weak body trudged away from the table and laid in the unmade bed. His body was tired, but he couldn't sleep. He wasn't sure the last time he had gotten a proper night's rest. It didn't really matter either way. Thus, he wallowed in bed, haunted by the visions of a past he couldn't return to.
When the sun rose, Anthony weakly swung his legs over the bed. He found the nicest pants and shirt he had before preparing to leave. A hot, freshly brewed black coffee was grasped tightly in his hand. He'd sent a few emails prior, to gauge interest and hadn't heard much. Unfortunately, he doubted he was going to a nice office job again anytime soon. Instead, he'd been forced to navigate his path toward a lower end company, something like sales work or marketing work for some small firm. He wandered between job interviews, with nothing feeling all that substantial. Most companies would have taken him, but there was a certain closed off-ness that had developed within him that clearly hindered any real teamwork.
His ghastly figure and gaunt frame carried little soul at this point and his rail thinness was borderline disturbing. This made him feel almost inhuman to most who surrounded him. He ate, but never enough. Without feeling too successful, he set back for the apartment. He made the walk to the elevator, heading for his third story apartment. As he stepped out toward his apartment, he felt the blunt force of another being colliding with his body. He found himself stumbling backwards with another thud following him. Anthony pressed a hand to his head for a second, before gazing forward.
Adjacent to him, a woman sat on the ground with raven black hair covering her face. A soft grunt came as she shifted. She was quick to get back to her feet, gathering herself again before looking at Anthony. His eyes looked upon her for a moment, catching a glance at her face. A thin pale face, with defined cheekbones, plump lips with red lipstick, and the aforementioned dark hair corrected into a long flow over thin shoulders. She couldn't have been much taller than five feet. Her brown eyes were striking, but soft as they gazed back to him. After fixing herself up and wiping away dust, she reached a hand to Anthony. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," she added with a soft look of condolence.
Anthony refused her help, pressing his weight to his hands and shifting back to his feet. He looked at the woman, now gazing down at her with his six foot something frame. "It's not hard to miss me," his cold deep voice challenged back.
He hadn't felt much compassion for other people, and despite the kindness of this stranger, he still felt nothing. He saw the frown on the woman's face before he turned away, toward his apartment. A soft grumble came from the woman, but he didn't comprehend whatever it was. Before long, he plunged himself back into the darkness of his lonely apartment. Tomorrow would have to be another job hunt today, though he decided that he'd rather do it on his laptop. He had too much of the world for today.
He laid down, not even moving to bed this time, instead opting for the couch. He stared at the ceiling until the visions and the memories played again. Just Carolyn, standing with an outstretched hand and ushering him home. He wanted to, but he knew he couldn't. That was all gone.
Before he knew it, the sun rose and shone upon the pale skinned man. He sat up, grunting softly as he looked forward. He followed his usual routine. Piping hot black coffee in one hand and his laptop set next to him. Next up was what felt like endless hours of typing up resumes and question answers, just in the hope that one employer might look his way. It was annoying, but necessary. It wasn't long before the sun was down and even the malnourished stomach of a widower needed something to eat.
He moved toward the kitchen, hunting for food, but found none. He considered going to bed and ignoring his hunger, but he knew that he couldn't. He'd have to get groceries sooner or later. He trudged to grab his wallet and then moved out the door. He pressed the button and waited for the elevator. Before the soft ding sounded through the third floor, Anthony heard another door close. His eyes drifted down the hallway and he caught a glance of the woman from the day prior. There she was, wandering toward the elevator. As Anthony boarded, he considered pressing the button to close the door, but even he wasn't that cold. He put a thin fingered hand over the doors and watched as the dark haired woman stepped into the elevator.
"Thank you," she said quickly before taking the corner opposite himself.
The silence was almost defeating, another reason Anthony had nearly closed the door. Eventually, it was interrupted by the voice of his elevator co-rider. "I'm Elena, by the way. I think we must live on the same floor."
"I guess we do," Anthony replied in the same cold tone.
"I just moved in a couple weeks ago. I haven't seen you around much," she replied, ignoring his coldness.
"No one really does," he added.
Even still, Elena wouldn't let herself be silenced. For some reason, she'd made it her mission to get Anthony to speak to her.
Her face contorted into thought as she tried to think of anything to get him to talk. It almost put a smile on Anthony's face, something that had become quite rare.
She was cute, not that he really saw that in anyone anymore. That didn't change much about the neighbor being cute. He found it almost sickening how much she seemed to have Carolyn's sweetness.
He found that his brain was caught in thought. His eyes noted that Elena's lips were moving but he heard absolutely none of it. Eventually, the elevator met the bottom floor. "Goodbye neighbor," she uttered, giving a glance and a smile as she wandered off.
He wasn't annoyed per say, but he wasn't absolutely loving the attention he was getting. He thought it would be whatever and she'd likely forget about him soon enough. He made his trip to the store, getting enough to sustain him for the week before returning to rot on the couch again.
Yet again, another night of lying on the couch and gazing into a past life that he'd never be able to get back. Anthony hated being alive. More than he'd ever be able to convey. The morning came yet again, yet the sun was not up. A storm was on its way to town and seemed to match the inner depths of Anthony's mind and emotion. Today was therapy day, because of course it was.
