Living with Atrina

Chapter 7 now and trying to sort out the thoughts in my head. Keep up the encouraging feedback and votes. It's why I write.

"The more things change, the more they stay the same."

Thanks to my editors DevilsRapture and SlySubmissive.

* *

"No," said Jake, firmly crossing his arms.

"Oh come on!"

"I think I've learnt that it's a bad idea."

"What are you going to do?" whined Kat. "Stay at home and mope all day? You need to get back out there."

"The last time I took your advice and 'got out there'," he said, with vocal special effects. "... you almost died twice and I ended up being questioned in connection to an insider trading scandal."

"That was an extreme case," she said. "..and I promise to be good this time. Here."

She held up an empty plastic bottle and shook it for Jake.

"I've been taking my meds. I won't go crazy on you."

He eyed her suspiciously. She walked up to him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Her face was buried in his shoulder and she whispered softly in his ear.

"You deserve it. Don't deny yourself this."

Jake looked into those hypnotic puppy-dog eyes and felt his iron resolve faltering. He hated the effect those damn eyes had.

"No!" he said, jerking his head. "No more dating."

Katrina sensed a weakness and probed further.

"Please, Jake. For me," she said, using those eyes again. "I hate seeing you so lonely."

He was even weaker now. She planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Oh all right!" he conceded.

"Goodie!" Kat twittered excitedly. "Saturday. Seven 'o' clock at San Clemente."

"Wait,"replied Jake. "You had this already set up?"

"I made a profile in your name on a dating site and waited for it to throw up a match before having this talk," she said, casually walking away.

"How could you?" he started, gaping.

"You needed this, whether you want to admit it or not."

Katrina busied herself stirring two cups of steaming hot Java. It was the first night in ages they were both free. It needed celebration.

He took a cup from her and made his way to the balcony. Slinging his legs over the ledge, he was shortly joined by Katrina carrying a mug herself. The metropolis glittered all around them, the sounds of the city sifting through the air.

"What's her name?"

"Janice. Pretty face too," she said, snuggling up to him.

He pursed his lips, trying to push back his worries. He looked affectionately at his angel taking a sip from the smoking brew in her hand.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

He shook out of his reverie. Katrina's eyes peered up at him. She instinctively knew when he was worried, even when he suppressed it.

"It's nothing," he waved off.

She held his chin and turned his face back towards her.

"I know it isn't," she said softly. "Talk to me."

Jake exhaled with futility. He was going to have to voice his fear.

"Kat," he began, putting his coffee down beside him. "Are you going to be okay?"

She continued looking at him, furrowing her brow in anticipation. He went on after a pause.

"Those things you said... about how you feel about me. How are you going to feel knowing I am going out with someone else?"

Her gaze did not waver. Her irises glistened with moisture. A solitary drop crawled down her cheek, leaving a wet trail. Jake tenderly intercepted it with his finger and wiped the trail all the way back to her eye. That tear felt like a gash on his soul. Something as beautiful as Katrina should never cry.

His hand went through her hair and he pulled her face to him. His lips went to her cheek, under the offending eye, and planted an affectionate peck. There was not even an iota of lust in it.

"I'm so sorry," he began. "I shouldn't have said..."

Wordlessly, she put her own cup down and covered his mouth with her palm.

"Shh. Don't say anything," she said.

His fingers continued caressing her scalp. She gathered the mayhem of thoughts running through her and began slowly.

"You are a wonderful man, Jake. The most wonderful man I have ever met."

She paused to choke back a small sob.

"Somewhere out there, there is a woman waiting for you. She is going to fill you with love and make you happier than you can even dream of."

The sobs were becoming harder to hold back.

"I'm not that woman. No matter how desperately I want to be, I am not her. Everyday, it gets harder to look at myself in the mirror because I know I cannot be her."

She was on the verge of breaking down, but held herself together with remarkable fortitude. Jake felt a stinging burn inside him, wishing he had never asked the question.

"I am trying to get better," she resumed with a stoic expression fixed on her face. "I am trying to get my life together and move past the cornucopia of crazy inside here. It's harder than you think, but I am trying my best. Do you know why?"

He did not need to ask. The answer was already there.

"Because one day I want to be that person."

He reached out to wipe away her tears, but she waved it off and did it herself.

"But I can't ask you to wait for me. I have run your life long enough. It hurts me more than I can describe at what I put you through repeatedly. You need to break this chain from me and

live

for God's sake."

He could not bear to look away.

"When I can be in a stable relationship myself, I will thank you for believing in me. For not giving up where everyone else did. But I will thank you from a distance, looking on at you and your soul mate with tears of happiness in my eyes."

Her voice dropped even more.

"But right now, you need to go out there and find her. Find that someone who makes you feel the way I wish I did."

The last part was so soft, Jake had to crane his ear closer to listen.

"I can learn to bury my love. I have to. Right now, it means nothing compared to you being happy."

There was silence between them for a few seconds, each of which felt like an eternity. He felt calmer than he had in a while at her assurance.

"When is my date again?"

Katrina smiled wide. It was Jake's favourite sight. The tender conversation passed. Now for her to return to her usual self.

* *

"Almost there," Kat mouthed, getting his tie into the right shape.

She stepped back to admire her masterpiece of clothing. Jake looked positively dashing in his shirt and suit. She smoothed out some wrinkles on his pants.

"Perfect."

"You don't look so bad yourself," Jake replied.

"Why thank you, good sir," she said with a blush and a curtsey. "I have to look good for my date too. Hopefully Jim will notice this time."

"He still won't put out, huh?" Jake pinned a clip to his tie.

"Nope," she said, rolling her eyes. "No matter how many unsubtle signs I throw his way, he shows no interest. Kinda like you."

"Is that why your breasts looks like they're about to fall out?" he said with a smirk.

"Don't judge me," she retorted. "I'm just using my assets to get what I want. What I want is to bounce on his hard cock till I scream like the sex-crazed maniac I am."

"Good luck with that," he said. "I have to meet Ms Janice now."

"Try and find out if she is opposed to threesomes. If not, let me know," she said plainly, watching Jake turn crimson.

"I'll keep that in mind for our after dinner conversation."

"No," she said exasperatedly. "Ask her after sex."

"It's just the first date with a random person I have never met before," he shot back. "Don't you think you are getting a little ahead of yourself?"

"You and your medieval rules about the first date. Keep an open mind."

"I'll try. Best of luck with Jim."

* *

San Clemente was bustling with activity on Saturday night. Yet, Jake was relatively sure there was no one in the throng more nervous than him. Dating, the mere concept of it was alien to him. He made his way to table 6 to see an equally nervous woman waiting for him.

"Hi. I take it you are Janice."

She looked up at him and nodded.

"I'm Jake," he said, sitting down and extending a hand.

"You look much better than your picture," she said, idly playing with the menu.

"Thank you," he replied, not having the faintest clue which picture Katrina put up of him.

Janice had a long, angular face with high cheekbones and a broad smile. Her eyes were blue and kept darting around the room. She was thin and had long limbs.

"So, what do you do for a living?" he initiated small talk.

"I'm a chocolateer," she said, with a giggle. "I love making things from chocolate."

"Interesting," he replied. "I like chocolate."

"Really? What kind?"

"Umm.. the normal brown kind."

She laughed. Her dress was dark brown and had folds across the hem. She beckoned a waiter over.

"I feel like some seafood today. What about you?"

Jake looked at the menu. The seafood was a bit beyond his price range, so he settled for a chicken dish and some meat spring rolls.

After five more minutes, Jake was sure he had never seen anyone talk as much. It was like her mouth never ran out of words. They came thick and fast - her family, her friends, her pet cat, her chocolate. Pretty soon he lost count of the number of topics in her repertoire and put on an attentive face.

"Well, it was nice meeting you. I'll look forward to your call."

He shook his head. The last hour had passed in a wordless blur from his perspective. He was barely aware of a world record for most number of words spoken continuously created on the other side of the table. She smiled appealingly in his direction and left.

"Worst. Date. Ever," he cursed under his breath.

Thankfully for him, humans had perfected certain blends of alcoholic compounds specifically for people in situations like his.

"Which way to the bar?"

He tipped the waiter and followed his directions. There were about a dozen people there, drowning their respective sorrows.

"Hit me with the strongest thing you got," he told the bartender.

One shot later, he needed something even stronger.

"What's your excuse?"

Jake almost jumped with surprise. In his slow, buzzed haze, he recognized a female shape sidling up to him at the bar.

"Online date. You?"

"I've gone past the point where I need one anymore," she said. "Buy a girl a drink?"

"Sure," he said, gesturing at the bartender.

He was still sober enough to register that she was attractive. Her streaked brown hair came down the sides of her face in curled tresses. She had a smug grin on her face and a general air of confidence.

"So tell me more about your date?"

* *

It was early the next morning when Jake stumbled into his building. His shirt was untucked and his coat hung loosely off his shoulders. It was a miracle he even made his way back given his hangover.

The last night was a colourful blur. The dim lights in the bar were gradually replaced by the streetlights on the road while their cab careened towards the steamy rendezvous. He could still picture her dense brown hair and mirthful laugh.

He staggered into the elevator. It was so completely alien to him, this walk of shame. The doors opened on the first floor and the devoutly religious Mr Sandoval walked in.

"Just my luck," he mouthed, not daring to look at him.

Always Evangelical, Mr Sandoval clutched his leather bound Bible under his arm. His glasses moved up his narrow nose as he surveyed Jake. His haggard appearance and the time of the day screamed out "drunk one night stand".

"He is so cursing me to eternal damnation," Jake thought.

Thankfully, his own reprieve arrived in the form of his floor. Mr Sandoval shot him one last acid glance before the doors closed again.

"I have been judged," he thought ruefully.

He crept to his door and rapped his knuckles on the wood twice. Leaning against the wall to hold up his remnant stupor, he heard the tell-tale footfalls approach. The door swung open to reveal a visibly worried Katrina.

"Oh my God," she gasped, looking him up and down. She clutched his arm and yanked him inside.

"I tried calling you up countless times last night," she said, with a hint of anger. "Why didn't you pick up?"

"I was busy," he replied lamely.

"Busy doing what?" she asked, her arms crossed over her chest. "No wait. Don't answer that. I know what. I wish you would let me know once that you were okay before you did the spread eagle with Janice."

"I didn't..."

"Oh please," she snorted. "Don't even try to deny it. I will be damned if I can't sense the freshly-fucked air in your stride."

"Not with Janice."

Her face fell. "You didn't like her?"

"She talks a lot. I mean a LOT," he said wearily. "The date was pretty much a bust so I headed to the bar."

For some inexplicable reason, Katrina doubled up with laughter. She put a palm on the wall and desperately tried to catch her breath. Jake stood, perplexed.

"This is hilarious," she said, stifling some giggles. "My roommate went to a bar, got wasted and picked up a girl. Then he had a night of no-strings-attached fucking with a total stranger."

Jake felt himself burning with embarrassment.

"And here I thought you learnt nothing from me," she said, finally able to stand straight.

He made a hasty exit to the shower. It would give him the solace to rejuvenate himself for the next round of merciless teasing by Kat.

She was on her laptop adding some new portraits to her deviantART profile when he sheepishly made his reappearance. Seeing her engrossed in her work gave him the hope he could sneak into his room unnoticed. He had tiptoed three-fourths of the way when she spoke up.

"How was it?"

Jake stopped dead in his tracks, his faint hope in tatters. He hung his head and settled into the couch, mentally preparing for the litany of questions. Katrina left her screen and sat beside him. An understanding arm went over his shoulder.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Jake," she said kindly.

He remained unconvinced.

"Believe it or not, it's a good sign," she continued. "It means you are willing to put yourself out there. That's the only way you'll find someone. Maybe even the girl you spent the night with. Did you get her number?"

"I think so," he said, rifling through his wallet. He pulled out a name-card with a big lipstick kiss at the back. Kat stifled another giggle.

"Jennifer Gosling," he read the name out loud.

Katrina's neck snapped up. Her eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Say that again," she said, not daring to believe her ears.

"Jennifer Gosling," he repeated. "Why? Does the name mean anything to you?"

Wordlessly, she returned to her laptop. A few keystrokes later, she turned the screen towards the couch.

"Is this her?"

Jake felt his heart jump to his throat. Sharp green eyes, smooth brown hair with exotic streaks, luscious red lips split into a cheery smile. It was the exact woman from the bar.

"Yes," he said warily. "Why is there a picture of her on the internet?"

"Jake," she said softly. "You just slept with New York's most popular erotic blogger."

"New York's WHAT?" he said, shocked. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," came the reply with a barely disguised grin. "In fact..."

"In fact what?" he asked breathlessly, unsure if he wanted the answer. She was busy tapping away on the Macbook. A few moments later, a look of surprise spread across her face, gradually covered by a layer of wonder. She scrolled down the page eagerly, memorizing whatever was written.

She tilted her head sideways to get a better look at Jake and shot him a devious smile. His mind was still coming to grips with the maddening puzzle Katrina held out of his reach. She had pieced together the entire thing.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, Jake burst out. "What gives?"

"Come here," she beckoned, her eyes not leaving the screen.

He walked over and joined her gaze on her screen. For a second, he refused to believe what he was seeing, but then his mind snapped back to reality. There was no hiding from it.

Manhattan Sexploits: Jake

He was officially part of her 'sexploits' in Manhattan. That particular blog tab had well over a hundred posts spanning five years. Jake was the latest. Her various advice tabs had less.

Here I was, at the fag end of another date from hell. Thank God these places have bars. Sipping on a drink I would much rather forget the name of, I saw him a few seats ahead. A kindred spirit, drowning his own disappointment. His rugged masculinity called out to me.

"Rugged masculinity?" he wondered, reading on. He cringed at the description of the conversation he fleetingly remembered.

When I was chatting with him, I knew that I would have him inside me sooner rather than later. He was simply irresistible.

"And horribly shit-faced," he thought.

I slipped a Viagra into his umpteenth drink (always carry some around), not wanting him to be at "half mast".

"She dosed me? Is that even legal?" he spluttered. His eyes returned to the sexploit and widened even more at the rather detailed description of the drive back in a cab. Jake went beet-red when he read it.

We stopped at an intersection waiting for the light to change. I could not resist but pull out his cock in the back seat. He grinned his sexy grin at me and I held it in my hands. Wow, I have seen some cock in this city but his cock was a masterpiece. I mean a fucking work of art stuck to his crotch.

"Stop looking," he said with a glare. Katrina's eyes had lazily drifted to the part between his legs, willing a bulge to form. She shook out of her reverie.

The size was itself impressive, but the shiny mushroom head was the crowning achievement (pun intended). I could not resist slipping my hands over it and rubbing it a little. It jerked and spasmed at the touch. I ran my fingers over his shiny head, brushing over the most sensitive parts before gently prodding at his glans.

"In a cab?" he said with sheer disbelief. "Is she serious?"

"Apparently she is," said a dreamy voice next to her. Katrina's eyes were misted by the vision of herself in the cab jerking off Jake. The lurid encounter continued in words.

I cupped his balls in one hand and slowly worked my way up the shaft with the other. My fingers encircled him and peeled his foreskin back. I like them uncircumcised, gives a more natural feel to it. My thumb rubbed the top of his head, teasing his tiny slit perched above.

Katrina imagined her hand on his cock, her thumb tickling his pee slit. Her other hand rolled the balls between her fingers. The dual motion would surely drive Jake nuts. But someone else did it, not her. The thought stung.

A bit of precum leaked out of him. I took it on my fingertip and slathered the side of his tool with it, making him glisten. His cock begged to be in my mouth, but the traffic was proving unpredictable. Just when I thought I could hold off the temptation till my apartment, the urge overwhelmed me.

In a moment of weakness (and a relative sparsity of traffic on East 60th), I quickly bent down and kissed his knob. The thrill of it made me tingle. Jake was not sober enough to mind either. The driver saw the movement in his rear view mirror and turned curiously. I hurriedly put the goods under wraps and sat up innocently.

"Such a wimp," thought Katrina. "I would love to give Jake road-head. Looking up into his eyes with his shaft nestled between my lips in a traffic jam, nothing comes close."

A toxic envy seethed inside her. It was completely ridiculous and irrational, yet she could feel an ember of jealousy glow deep within her, coupled with her nascent arousal.

We reached my apartment, our drunken hands fumbling at each other's privates incessantly. I was more sober, so I took charge and led him to my bed. Pushing him down, I made short work of his clothes, creating a pile on the floor. Naked, he was every bit the decadent treasure I had imagined. Why do men like him even bother with clothes? His smooth torso would need some special attention from my tongue.