"Hey Lily." Cam said.
I was too stunned to respond. I didn't even know what to say or think. I knew I was going to reach out to him sooner or later, but I never imagined my brother would just show up here.
"Can I come in?" He asked, plainly. We barely spoken in 2 years and when I did talk to him, it was when dad was around so he wouldn't suspect anything was wrong. Cam tried to apologize a few times, but I didn't care. I still didn't want to hear him out, but I wanted him to be gone before Ethan arrived. I moved out the way to let him in. Once I closed the door, I watched him expectantly.
"I know I've already said it, but I'm truly sorry Lily. When I found out about you and Ethan, I wanted to protect you but I lost it instead. I should have never said what I said." He apologized.
"Ok."
"Ok?" He asked, looking lost.
"Ok." I repeated, simply.
"Lily..." He started off, his face twisting in pain. "I understand you're an adult now and I have no right to try to run your life. I just want to be a part-".
The doorbell rang, cutting him off. I groaned inwardly and answered it. It was Ethan. I spent so much time planning when I finally got him alone, and now I had to get rid of him. "Hey..." I said, shakily.
"Hey... are you ok?" Ethan asked, concerned, looking my face over. Instead of noticing the sexy makeup and clothes, he saw how uncomfortable I was.
I pulled myself together, remembering my poker face. "Yeah, lemme go grab that inhaler." I said, deliberately leaving the door open so he could see Cam and Cam could see him. I had no intentions of hiding our relationship again. I want both Ethan and Cam to know that. Plus, I know Cam's temper. If he blew up, I could kick him out and be done with this conversation.
But Cam just waited patiently as I got the inhaler and tried to hand it over to Ethan. He grabbed my hand instead.
"Call me if you need anything ok?" He said, looking over at my brother before staring into my eyes. I nodded, and he took the inhaler and left.
Cam took a deep breath when I turned back to face him. "We're too close and we've gone through too much to let anyone come between us. I don't care if you're with him-"
"This is not about him!" I cut him off, frustrated. Once again, here he was thinking he could tell me what to do. I'm grown, I don't need his permission.
"Then what is it? This silent treatment has been going on for too long. I don't understand..."
"You wouldn't, would you? You and dad never look outta your own feelings and agendas to stop to think about how I feel!" I exclaimed, cutting him off. "Never! And the second I try to do anything, I'm wrong!"
"I understand that, I do. That's why I'm sorry; especially about bringing up Perez. I know that wasn't your fault-"
"I don't care about that! I don't care if you blame me. I'm sure dad does just like I blame myself." I snapped. I couldn't decide if I was more hurt or pissed off that he would even mention his name. I went with pissed off. I was tired of being hurt. "I could forgive all that. I can't forgive you for lying to me about dad and my mom! I don't know if I even want to!"
Cam paled. "Dad told you?"
"Of course not. He woulda took that secret to his grave. When I asked him, he thought you told me. I tried to find my mom, Cam. I found an aunt instead. Can you imagine my surprise when I found out dad thought I was his biological daughter at first? It was 10 times worse finding out you knew the entire time! How could you not tell me? That's why your mom left? Isn't it?!?" I questioned him, angrily.
"Lilypad-" He began. I hated him using the fun nickname Trevor called me in this moment.
"No. Don't fucking call me that! Why didn't you tell me? Did Dad promise to stay off your back if you kept the secret? I felt like I owed him for EVERYTHING. I wouldn't have allowed him to run my life all those years if I knew the reason he took me in was because he thought I was his!" I exploded, the tears falling from my eyes. He took a step closer to me, and I stepped away. "No, no. I'm so... tired. It's bad enough being my parents' mistake. I don't want to be your burden anymore." I cried.
"Lily... You will always be my little sister. I get that we have to change what that means for us, but I'm always here for you. Just call me whenever you need me, ok?" He said softly.
When I just nodded, he turned around and left. I closed the door and broke down. Over my sobs, I hear the doorbell again. I took a deep breath as I opened the door, preparing for round two. I was stunned again to see Ethan standing there.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, wiping my tears away.
"I made the mistake before of leaving when I knew you weren't ok. I'm not doing that again." He said firmly.
He was referring to the original fight with my brother. After I kicked Cam out, I went back to my room not knowing how much Ethan heard. By the look on his face, he heard enough. Instead of talking about it, I asked him to leave. He complied, and I didn't hear from him in a week. When he reached out, I blew him off for another week, blaming it on my graduation. He made sure to call me right after my graduation so I would have no excuse not to talk to him. Tonight, I just let him in. I was too tired to fight anymore.
He took me into his arms and I cried. After he walked me to the couch, I told him everything. About growing up after my mom gave me up for adoption. How Cam ignored me when I first moved in. How I felt like I had to do everything perfectly or I would be cast out. Eventually, Cam started to look out for me and hated our dad. I didn't know what caused the change, but I was grateful. He was my savior and only friend growing up. When he graduated high school, my dad gave him the option of going to school or moving out and supporting himself. He decided to join the Air force and was stationed in Texas. When he left, I felt completely alone. And desperately lonely. Being so desperate, I latched on to anyone that showed me affection. That person at the time was my dad's business partner, Mr. Perez. He told me how pretty I was, bought me clothes and make-up, and hung out with me. I knew it was inappropriate when he started touching me, but I didn't stop him because I didn't want to lose him too.
Cam was the one to find out. He walked in on us when he came home on a surprise visit. His rage was scarier than anything I've ever seen before. He pulled him off of me and beat him viciously while I sat and cried, wishing to disappear. I was terrified when Cam told dad that he would kick me out, but instead, he worked out a deal. My dad agreed not to call the cops, but Mr. Perez had to agree not to press charges against Cam and give up part of the car dealership he owned with my dad. After that, my dad acted like it never happened and I never heard or saw Mr. Perez again. The whole situation just fueled Cam's hatred towards our dad. When I graduated, he pushed for me to go to college in Texas so I could be close to him. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of what he witnessed, I would have done anything to make things right between us. Ever since then, I was fine letting my brother run my life just to have him in it. I had no one else in my corner. That is, until I learned the truth about my fucked up existence: My adoptive dad cheated on Cam's mom and adopted me after he learned I wasn't his biological child. What hurt the most was that Cam knew about it the whole time. I felt like a pawn in the game my dad and he was playing.
"Lily, I'm so sorry." Ethan said, rubbing my arms soothingly as I finished.
"Why? You didn't do anything." I sniffed, finally getting my tears under control.
"Exactly. You were always there for me, and I had no idea what you went through."
"It's not like I would have told you. I didn't want your pity. I still don't." I huffed, pushing him away.
"Lily... Everything I went through, I went through that with the support of my family and you. You went through everything on your own. I only wish I could have been there for you the way you were for me." He explained.
"You were there for me. Just the fact that you could feel that way about me... You don't know how much that meant to me." I looked up into his eyes. I just want to feel that way again. No shame, no guilt, no hurt. Just our desire for each other. I pressed my lips into his, coaxing his mouth open with my tongue. His response was immediate- He pulled me against him as my tongue pillaged his mouth. He kissed me back, just as forceful and hungry. My whole body ached for him, and I straddled his lap, yearning for more-
"We need to stop." He panted, turning his lips away from mine.
I ignored him, moving my lips against his neck. We both groaned as my mouth savored his skin- he tasted better than I remembered. I couldn't get enough of him. I needed more. I pulled away long enough to yank off my halter top. Before my lips could find his body again, I caught an anguished look on his face as he stared at my lacy bra. The face he made snapped me out of my trance. I felt like an idiot as I tried to put my shirt back on.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm sorry." I repeated. Of course he didn't want me now- who would knowing how many issues I have?
"Lily, please... Please hold still for a minute." He groaned, holding my hips as I wiggled to get off him. When I stilled, I felt his hardness throbbing against me underneath his jeans.
Ohhh. I looked up at him, curious to why he stopped when we both wanted this.
"I don't want to take advantage of you." He said, looking into my eyes.
I looked down at his t-shirt, not knowing what to say or do. He wouldn't be taking advantage of me- he would only be giving me exactly what I wanted. I just didn't know how to convince him. Should I press against his erection, let him feel how wet I was, ask him to fuck me? He held me, pulling my top back on me and rubbing up and down my back. I was so deep in thought, contemplating my next move when he sat me on the couch beside him.
"Do you need anything?" He asked softly. When I turned to face him, I got lost in his dark eyes. All I could think about was him fucking me on the couch.
"You-" My phone rang from the coffee table in front of me, cutting me off. We both looked at it. Trevor. I flushed, like he caught us post- hook up again. I was 99% sure that he told my brother to ambush me and ruined my plans with Ethan.
"No, I'm okay. I'm sorry you had to be in the middle of all this." I said, silencing the ringer, not wanting to deal with him right now.
Ethan grabbed my hand, squeezing reassuringly. "I'm serious, whenever you need me-" he was cut off by my phone ringing again.
I looked down to see Trevor's number again.
Urgh.
Ethan dropped my hand.
"Answer it. I'll see you later this week." Ethan said, standing up. I watched him leave, before turning off my phone, and going to bed.
