"I'll talk to you later." I say out loud as I enter my apartment. I wave goodbye at Rick, my current love interest, who had just dropped me off from the sweetest date ever.
"Ethan, I'm home!" I expect him to come out and hug me, like he always does. Instead I find him occupied in his room, he is yelling at someone on the phone.
"Sophie" I said to myself and went to my room uninterested of his conversation. I get in the shower to wash off all the chlorine from our swimming session with Rick. I grab my coconut shampoo and body wash and proceed to clean up, thoroughly.
As I finish up, I can't help but think of my date with Rick. We've been dating for a couple of months now. That's quite a victory for him, since I hadn't dated in such a long time. Three years to be more exact. I promised myself back then, that I would focus in school, graduate Summa Cum Laude and go straight to my Master's. And so I did. Majored in Psychology, top of my class, went straight to Postgraduate. No room for men, dating or even sex. Because, I, a twenty-six-year-old woman, am still a virgin.
You'd be surprised to learn that it is very usual to find virgin adults nowadays, as opposed to the common belief that there simply aren't. I'm the living proof, the legend as Ethan would say.
Rick was one of my professors back in college. The minute I walked into his class, I knew I was in trouble. I had such a crush on him. Rick is not only incredibly smart, he is also incredibly hot. We met again this year at a friend's party and we couldn't stop talking from that day on.
Rick has this Marlon Brando sex appeal. With crazy hot physical features. Tall, squared jaw, big green eyes and auburn wavy hair. His body looks as if it was sculpted with hammer and chisel. His hands are three times bigger than mine, which makes feel safe, and he is older than me, he had turned forty-five last week, the same day I turned twenty-six.
More often than not, I had the bothering question in my head ... how can he be with someone like me? Someone so young, and not as prepared in every sense as he was. I don't even know how he got me to say yes to his "Do you want to be my girlfriend" question.
"Two months" I say to myself while I strap my bra. "And no sex" I continue. Rick knows I'm a virgin, he had a hard time believing it at first, but once he got to know me he understood where I was coming from and that I wouldn't lie about that.
It's not something I'm particularly proud of. I don't feel it makes me special or heaven worthy or any of that shit. It actually makes me feel ... obsolete. Makes me feel less interesting, plain.
Rick has showed me such love, respect, and I dare say admiration for it. He has never pressured me or rushed me to get into a situation I don't want.
He is NOT the problem. I am.
"Rachel" I hear a knock on my door. "Can I come in"? My thoughts are interrupted by Ethan.
"Just one sec, I'm putting my shirt on" I reply in a hurry.
"Hi, E! What's up?" He looks tired. "You ok?"
He comes in and throws himself on the bed, facing the mattress. "Sophie. I'm sick and tired of that girl." I can tell he means it this time. He has been unhappy about this girl for a while.
"Then why are you still with her, Ethan?"
"I don't know. We're going away this weekend to my parent's house in Bailey so we can "talk and fix things" or whatever" he says mimicking Sophie's girly voice.
"Ethan you're thirty years old, for God's sake. Act like it! You have everything going for you and you deserve someone that rocks your world, not just a Sophie" I said looking at him matter-of-factly.
"Just like Rick rocks yours, right?" he looks straight into my eyes, and I immediately blush and look away.
"Something like that" I reply almost whispering.
"Rachel, what it is up with you two? Do you really like this guy? Am I ever going to meet him?"
"Ethan, that is a lot of questions" I get out of the room and walk to our kitchen. "You'll meet him when you meet him, ok? And yeah, I like him."
He gave me that look. The same look that made me turn away just now. What was up with him, he had been acting strange lately. And then, out of nowhere, he broke the silence.
"We should put up our Christmas tree." He looked in the direction of our living room.
"What?" I say irritated that he changed the subject abruptly. "Yeah" he continues, "I think we got everything from last year plus some other stuff we picked up at Salman's last week" he points to some plastic bags under our dining table.
"Sure, if you're in the mood. Let's do it" I answer quizzically. But I quickly let it go because Christmas makes me so happy, and putting up the tree and house decorations excites me like few things.
We get on to the trimming. I must say we team up nicely when it comes to decorating. It looked beautiful.
"Job well done, fella" I tell him while I signal a high five. Ethan high fives me and gives me a hug. We stay like that for a while with no lights in the room except for those on our Christmas tree.
"Looks adorable, doesn't it E?" There's an air of nostalgia filling the room.
"Are you really happy, Rache?" he says in a soft voice.
"Are you?" I ask wondering what's going on with him. "Sure" he replies as he kisses the top of my head. "I'm out" he yawns. "This week has been crushing. Night Rache, rest well ok?" he walks to his room.
"Night" I say ponderous. I can't seem to figure out what's bothering him. Since Rick and I have been dating, he feels so far away from me.
I make myself some hot cocoa and giddily drop in some marshmallows Ethan had gotten for me. He is so thoughtful. Always has been, really.
I sit on the couch and I can't help but remember the day I first met Ethan.
It was two years ago, I was in line to get some coffee before going into the grand auditorium where a student-teacher debate on political psychology was going to take place. The guy in front of me somehow lost his balance and spilled all his hot tea on me. Luckily, I was wearing a thick woven jacket.
"Hey, watch it!" I yell at him as I step aside to fix myself. "I'm so sorry, really sorry!" the jerk says. I look up to see his face, and there is this beautiful, beautiful man. Wearing Levi's jeans, a sexy Steven Ivy button shirt, leather jacket and a grey scarf. Tall, breathtaking brown eyes and messy brown hair.
"You really did almost burn me." I said straight faced. "It's your lucky day that I put on this jacket last minute" I was relieved that Stacy, my then roommate, insisted I did.
"I apologize, are you ok. Do you need me to take you get checked?" he was worried.
"Nah, it's ok. Just hold this for me, will ya?" I gave him my books and my purse, and took off my sweater, now soaked in chamomile tea.
"I'm Ethan Maxwell, and you are?" his eyes searching mine... "Rachel Lancaster" I shook his hand.
He apologized some more and offered to take me home and change if I needed to. We ended up sitting together at the debate, he is a political science major and was also starting his masters.
