Lae Como

Many thanks to my editor, theMasterBaiter, for their keen eye and insightful feedback.

Chapter 6

"I want it all and I want it for myself. I want to keep you somewhere safe and never let you go."

From that day on, I no longer felt adrift among millions of bodies. Each one toiling, sweating, yearning. Each one seemed to be running to or from something, along a route which promised brief relief from the hideous truth of death and insignificance.

Call it shortsighted, call it codependent, call it analgesic, call it whatever the fuck you want. I was my own person, and yet at the same time I was

his

. And he was

mine

. We shared an indissoluble bond.

We were as inseparable as yin and yang. We were each the other's opposite half. Each side stood in opposition to the other and contained at the same time elements of its opposite within itself.

The identification of femininity with chaos and the caprice of nature is an ancient stereotype in human societies, but in my relation to Mikhael, the motif did often hold true: While he embodied the masculine drive for order, I infused our lives with a necessary amount of the unknown. He in turn was my North Star. Constant, dependable, comforting. But without me, as he had told me one time, his life "would run like clockwork into death."

Thus we lived in harmony, straddling the dynamic border between order and chaos. We had lost our flow, but Mikhael's perseverance seemed to have guided us back.

**

I gasped as the chill of the water sunk in. I sputtered and shook my hair, treading water while trying to come up with an answer to being pushed into an alpine lake. Summer wasn't far behind us. The water was still tolerable, but chilly nonetheless.

Mi threw his head back and laughed, freely and with the joy of "mischief managed." I splashed him in mock indignation. It was hard to hold back a smile of my own. He may be order incarnate, but like the black dot within the white paisley, his spontaneity was an undeniable part of him.

"Come here," he said suddenly. He launched himself at me, but I ducked and swam away. He was a strong swimmer, though. He quickly overtook me and as I turned to face him he wrapped his arms around me, drawing me close. I could feel his heartbeat.

"We're sinking!" I protested. I could see the gravelly lake bottom through the unnaturally clear water as it sloped off from shore. Mi said nothing but smiled gently as we passed below the surface together, eyes locked to one another, holding our breath. Then Mi released me, pushing me up and himself down. I broke the surface and gasped, looking around for a moment until he rose behind me. Wavelets lapped at our necks. Mi clasped my hand.

His hair glistened, medium brown and plastered to his head. Water droplets clung to his eyelashes and glinted like diamonds in the afternoon sunlight. "I love you," he said with a fey smile.

It was by no means the first time he had said those three words, but immediately I knew that I would never forget

this

time.

He held my gaze for what might have been two seconds, or two minutes. We were interrupted when he glanced into the distance over my shoulder.

"

Scheißboot

," he exclaimed sheepishly. We had forgotten about the boat, which was already some meters away and drifting slowly towards the center of the lake.

**

The shadows of the trees stretched far into the lake by the time we returned from the boat rental dock. Mi's jeans and my sweater were still damp. I carried that particular bundle under my arm as my sheer white blouse rippled in the breeze. Mi had stripped bare to the waist. People noticed.

Despite the waves of migration in the twenties and late teens, Switzerland and this "geo-socio-economic" stratum of Italy that we were in now remained almost completely white. I was actually conflicted about patronizing a resort like this one, for it almost definitely had a hand in discompassionately maintaining the region's status quo. However, such considerations were the furthest thing from my mind as I walked up the grassy lawn with Mikhael. I was conscious of how exotic we—I—must look.

Drink it in,

I thought. I held Mi's hand conspicuously.

That's all you're gonna get. When you're all having your floppy Swiss banker sex tonight, remember this sweet chocolate pie and dream of getting a slice.

I caressed Mi's hand with my thumb. Oh how I was going to ride him tonight. I was sure he had similar lusts in store for me. My nipples were tingling at the thought. The smell of his skin drying in the sun was like a drug.

As we passed an older couple sunning themselves on the steps of a little white gazebo, I reached behind Mi's back and pinched his ass. The woman was now whispering something in low tones. I could feel her partner's gaze on my backside. But I was Mikhael's prize; they could look, but they couldn't touch.

Once on the trail to our cabin, Mi leaned his head over and, without breaking stride, said "I'm going to ravish you so hard that tomorrow morning you won't be able to walk straight."

I shot right back: "Oh yeah? I'm gonna annex your butt like it was Poland." He blushed a shade that would have made a beet envious. Then both burst out laughing.

When we finally got to the door, I was so silly with libido that Mi practically had to carry me through the door like a drunk. He led me by the hand straight ahead into the living room, where he pulled me down onto the white deep-pile rug.

He fell on top of me and I wrapped my arms and legs around his trunk. Our lips locked in a deep, greedy kiss. Wasn't my underwear dry earlier? Or had it always been this wet? My pussy was now hot and aching to be filled. My clit throbbed with my heartbeat.

Supporting himself with his left arm, Mi reached down and grabbed me roughly by the hip and pressed our still-clothed bodies together. Dull pleasure radiated from between my legs. Mi was obviously turned on himself: I could feel his bulge getting tighter and harder by the second. He let out a long, slow sigh of a moan. I knew he couldn't wait to fuck me. In any case, we were too out of our minds for something as refined and deliberate as

making love.

Wait.

The fucker still had his jeans on!

I reached southwards and pawed at his fly. He seemed to notice and drew up onto his knees and performed an awkward dance as he extricated himself from the wet fabric as quickly as it would allow. I reached to take my panties off, but nooo, apparently that wasn't fast enough for Mi. He grabbed a fistful of the fabric and wrenched it away. The cotton cloth, strained already at my wide hips, gave in with a sharp tear.

"Wedgieee," I pouted to nobody in particular. My man was now on top of me again and I could feel his cock, hot and stiff, right against my outer lips. I moaned weakly in anticipation. I couldn't wait for him to enter me, graze my spot, fill me up, but most of all, just to be

close to me.

OOOOAUHHHH..My spasm of joy ended on a guttural moan: Mi had driven his cock into me, to the hilt, and was holding it there and grinding with his pelvis on my clit at the same time. He stretched his arms under my shoulders and kissed me again slowly. Grasping my shoulders, he held me tight and withdrew partway from me before pulling me back onto his manhood.

A little shudder overtook me, spreading from my mons as a wave of pleasure. Already a mini-orgasm. Lube was totally out of the question, as I was virtually drowning his sex. He split me like a stake would, and like a stake, his cock seemed to pin me to that place on the rug. For all I knew, we would live out the rest of our days nailed to this one point on the floor.

A shock rocked my body. Mi had gotten his fill of going slow and began to fuck me vigorously. I raised my head briefly. I looked past my rippling breasts and past his tense abdominals to see his shaft rushing in, out, in, out, in. Oh, how I loved being split by him. Split like a bolt of lightning in a starless night sky. His penis delved deep, punishing my guts. It was delicious.

The build-up to this moment had made it all the more ecstatic. He was ploughing into me so passionately that the waves of pleasure were almost too much; I was gasping and my lungs felt weak. Suddenly he stopped. I opened my eyes to see Mi drawing a little circle in the air with his index finger: our symbol for "get on your hands and knees." I complied slavishly.

With his knees just inside mine and hands on my hips, he entered me again, this time from behind. Just to drive Mi that much wilder, I swung my ass back and forth hypnotically. In this position he could get even deeper, and this time I craved every inch I could get. Although I was actually more clit-centric, right now I was greedy for his cock. He knew.

He leaned forward, cupped a breast in his right hand and whispered in my ear, "Are you

mine

?" On the

mine

he slammed into me once again. I whimpered an

mm-hm

. "I said, are you

mine!?

" Another deep thrust.

"Yes!"

"

Say it!

"

"Yes! Yes! I'm fucking yours, Mikhael!" I was rapt. He had broken me.

"And I'm yours, Zephyra," he whispered hoarsely.

Mi then nudged my legs out from under me, pushing me onto my belly as he moved to dominate me completely from above. His cock now pressed at the right angle to hit that perfect spot; when it did, I let loose another cry of pleasure.

He lay on top of me, skin to skin, and reached a hand around my throat. His hot breath tickled the hairs on my neck. Gently but firmly his thumb and fingers pressed into the sides of my neck, restricting my blood supply. Just by rocking his lower body back and forth he was able to please my little hole in a new way entirely. The tip of his cock found my spot again and again and again.

"Take it, my cockslut. You know you love this dick. So beg for your fill." With his free hand Mi reached under my belly and downward until he found my clit. It was dripping from all the extra grool he was pumping out of my pussy with every stroke. He pinched the pulsating little button between index and middle finger, and jerked me off from side to side.

I squirmed. His crude words tore at me, but I knew they were true. I humbled myself before him and begged: "Please... fuck... me..." And with that, I felt an orgasm building like a wave ready to crash over me. When the dam burst I shuddered and writhed under Mi's weight. He held me in place to drill into me every last bit of ecstasy that he could, riding out my juddering orgasm like a skilled surfer.

He let go of my clit, slowed his pace, and cooed words of praise into my ear.

"Good girl. You're my treasure. I pity every man who has never had the privilege of touching your body."

But he was still ravenous. He quickly resumed his pace and now I could hear his breathing getting faster and shallower. "Oh my god, your pussy feels amazing. It's heaven."

I never said dirty talk had to be eloquent.

"Oh my god I'm so close..." He pulled close to my ear and nibbled on my earlobe. "I want you to take my cum deep inside."

"Yesyesyesysss" was all I could muster as I pushed my rear back onto my partner. His cock now bulged harder than ever as the orgasm took him like it had taken me. I could hear his sharp breaths as his body shook, and I could feel it as his member twitched inside me.

His grip on my throat tightened and he gasped. Soon I felt the heat of his cum deep within me. Mi slumped down. His body was heavy and draped over mine. He was spent for now. As for me, I was floating in a feeling of contented bliss. This felt right. This was how it should be. I could have stayed in that moment forever.

The sun had set behind the mountains by the time we roused ourselves from the floor. A soft pinkish light suffused the air. I made a fire while Mi picked up our clothes.

That was only the first round of many. That night, Mi came three more times and I lost count of how many times I did. I rode him, he took me from behind; I sucked him off, he ate my pussy so thirstily I didn't see his face for an hour; he plundered me roughly as I screamed his name over and over again.

The next morning I awoke to toast and a mimosa, served by Mi, smiling his usual twinkling smile. Decent of him, considering I would have barely been able to walk to the kitchen.

Epilogue

We spent one more full day at Lake Como. We hiked, we swam, we sailed (this time managing to keep an eye on the boat), and through that day and into the next we said very few words to each other. I think we were both in a kind of quiet awe at what had happened. We both knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were right for each other.

On the train back to Berlin we sat across a little table from each other. Mi was typing on his old laptop computer.

"What are you workin' on?" I asked.

"mm, reflections," he said absently.

I returned to looking out the window and watched as mountain valleys gave way to forests and fields. Someday I would return.

**

[Tagebuch 18 Okt 2027]

When I was younger I would often imagine the woman of my dreams. I would try to envision how she would look and what kind of personality she would have. It's funny, because every time I got a different result. But I know that I never could have imagined Zephyra.

This woman is beyond anything I could have imagined: Literally, I find her unimaginably beautiful. This is how I know that I'm in love with her. She's sitting across from me right now. God, I can't believe I ended up with her. I wonder if she knows how lucky I am.

This weekend was a watershed. Maybe I'll go into the sordid detail in another entry, but Z and I basically broke down what had been keeping us apart and fell in love all over again. Maybe she was close to realizing it and vocalizing the matter herself, but I more or less stumbled onto exactly what was bothering us:

She needs to be anchored and she needs to be possessed. Not all women I've been with need that, but I can tell Zeph needs it, and deeply. Not in the sense of imprisonment but rather as the need for belonging. My mistake was in thinking these two different aspects were the same. That is how I was pushing her away, although I didn't know it.

But she's mine and now she knows it. And I'm hers. I love her.