Conner sat up straight in his usual chair across from Tessa at the dinner table. They had finished eating almost an hour ago, but the plates were still in front of them and Tessa was still poking at a piece of carrot with her fork, staring blankly at the glass of water in front of her.
Her long locks of strawberry blonde hair was tied neatly behind her back, a few stray strands against her face, trailing down over her shoulders. The expression she wore was one that seemed unreadable to Conner, but he noticed that every once in a while her face would twist into a scowl- but only for a second before that blank look took over again. He wasn't really sure what to make of her current demeanor, or how to proceed. He was getting worried.
She had been like that for at least twenty minutes.
Not a word, not a glance in his direction. He had tried to talk to her the first five minutes of this 'mood' she was in, but gave up when it seemed like everything he said irritated her. She seemed to stab into the carrot a little harder every time he spoke.
But she wasn't angry, although, all of her body language and the silent treatment may have said otherwise. Conner knew better. Tessa was struggling. He had learned early on that she tended to pull away when something upset her. At the moment, Tessa was trying to avoid just that. She was attempting to gain control of her emotions, and sort out what it was that had brought this on in the first place.
Tessa's current uneasiness was Conner's fault and he knew it. But he wasn't about to apologize for it. When he brought up the idea of spending a three-day weekend with Tessa he hadn't exactly been expecting her positive reaction, but that's exactly what he got. Tessa thought it was a great idea, so for a few moments Conner felt relived. They hadn't really spent so much time together before. He had slept over a few times, but eventually Conner would go home or go to work. He thought that three whole days, uninterrupted might have seemed like too much for Tessa.
But it wasn't. Tessa had been looking forward to the idea, and even decided to take an extra day from her usual work on Monday so they could spend the time together. It was Conner's next suggestion that brought on the silent treatment, even if she wasn't purposely trying to block him out. Tessa just needed to think.
Conner had spent the last week thinking about his relationship with Tessa. It was a relationship, but not like the ones he had in the past. In some ways, that was a good thing. In other ways, it could be bothersome. He knew that Tessa had grown a lot since he had first encountered her, and maybe he shouldn't press the issue, but damn it, he was ready for more.
Conner loved going to her house, sharing her secluded little world with her. He loved that he knew that she'd always be there, and he loved that when he was there, with Tessa, they shared their own private world, if he didn't count the surprise visits Katrina seemed to be making more frequently. But the younger sister was growing on Conner, if only a little bit. Conner considered Katrina the obnoxious sister he never wanted. Regardless of small setbacks, Conner was happy with Tessa, but it wasn't enough to just share her little world, he wanted her to share his life too.
The idea of asking Tessa to go away for a weekend seemed out of the question, although Conner could still use the vacation. But regardless, he knew he wanted to spend the time with her. Only, he wanted to do it somewhere else. He would have preferred somewhere where the weather wasn't over ninety degrees. Maybe a nice trip to the mountains. But obviously, mountains were out where Tessa was concerned. He'd managed to get her to go outside into her yard but he doubted that he could get her in his truck and on a road trip. So Conner suggested the next best thing, somewhere where he thought she'd be comfortable. He asked her to come home with him.
As far as Conner was concerned, it wasn't an unreasonable request. For Tessa, leaving her house at all was unreasonable. The moment Conner mentioned it her doubts about their relationship entered her mind again, but Conner had waved them away. He made it clear that he was only asking her to think about it. He also pointed out that he wasn't asking her to go cross-country, just over a few blocks. He insisted that he could bring her back any time she wanted, he just wanted her to see where he lived.
Tessa, for her part, had started to object at the beginning but he had cut her off to go into his speech. By the time he was finished she was abusing the carrot and was entirely non responsive when he spoke to her again. Conner decided that he would be patient. He probably would have rethought being patient if he had known he would be worriedly staring at her for twenty minutes while she seemed to shut down.
Conner finally sighed and cleared his plate from the table. By the time he washed his plate, filled Desy's water bowl and looked back, Tessa was still in the same position, only she was now just holding the fork, and had decided to have mercy on the leftovers. He decided that the silence had gone on long enough and as he moved back to the table he gently dropped his hand on her shoulder. Tessa startled and dropped the fork as she spun around to glare at him. She knew he was there but she hadn't been paying attention, and he still managed to surprise her. She more annoyed with herself than Conner for this.
"Sorry." Conner mumbled and began to pull his hand back, but before he could, Tessa placed her and over his and urged him to stay. She smiled, but it was somewhat forced, Conner could tell.
Tessa shook her head.
"I'm sorry Conner, I was just thinking."
"About what?" he asked as he helped her from her seat. Tessa glared at him again, because he knew full well 'about what.'
"I just need more time Conner." She stated. "I told you before, I don't know if I'll ever be ready to leave here. It's become safe to me, not that I don't trust you, but...I guess I'm not so sure I'm ready to see what the rest of the world has turned into in the last five years."
"It's not the rest of the world Tessa." he laughed, "It's just my house."
"I know, and a big part of me wants to go with you...but another part, I guess I don't know if I'm ready, or if I ever will be. I don't expect you to wait Conner..."
He quickly cut her off with a finger on her lips and tried not to sound as frustrated as he felt.
"I'll wait." He said flatly. "If you're not ready, fine. I already told you that I'd be just as happy to spend this weekend here with you. But that doesn't mean that I'll stop asking. I want to take you home with me. There are so many things that I'm ready to share with you, including my home. I know you're scared, but I'm not. Whether you think so or not, you'll be ready Tessa, one day, you will, and I'll still be around when that happens."
Tessa's next smile was less forced, but she still seemed troubled. She believed that Conner believed he'd still be around, but she was less optimistic. She cared for him more than she ever thought possible, but she was well aware that their relationship could only go so far unless she started to give Conner more of what he needed. After all, she couldn't imagine putting up with her if she was in his position.
It wasn't like he had made a huge request, Tessa thought. In fact, something as small as going to his house was completely reasonable, at least it would be in most situations. And Conner had already done so much for her by just being himself. She desperately wished that she could be there for him, just as he was for her. But she was afraid, and she hated that her fear could destroy the present most meaningful relationship in her life. If only she could give him this one thing, the only thing he had ever even asked her for...
Tessa was pulled out of her thoughts when Conner dropped both hands on her shoulders and slid them down her back as he pulled her closer. She sighed and leaned into him, burying her face against his chest. She felt safe every time he held her, so why was she so afraid?
"Let's not worry about it any more tonight." Conner insisted, "You'll let me know when you're ready."
After a few moments she tiredly nodded into his chest.
"Conner?"
"Hmm?"
"You'll still stay here tonight, wont you?"
He pushed her back slightly and smiled down at her before dropping his lips over hers and teasing her to open before his tongue gently explored her mouth. Slowly Tessa closed her eyes and Conner felt her begin to relax against him. He tightened his grip on her to hold her up, even though he was beginning to feel a little weak in the knees himself.
"You're stuck with me." Conner smiled as he gathered her close and hugged her again.
"Good." Tessa sighed, and then gently pushed off of him and grabbed his hand. "Lets go to bed."
Conner glanced towards the clock over the stove and laughed.
"It's only seven o'clock Tessa, I hope you don't want to sleep away the whole weekend."
Tessa briefly glanced over her shoulder as she led him from the kitchen, but it was long enough for Conner to notice the blush that had warmed her face.
"Who said anything about sleeping?" Tessa softly replied.
Conner swallowed and refrained from further comment. Tessa always seemed to surprise him when he least expected it. Maybe that was because so far he had allowed their relationship to progress at Tessa's pace. He didn't want to pressure her into anything that she wasn't ready for, and he felt slightly troubled as he wondered what she had planned and why. In no way did he want her to do something because she felt guilty about not wanting to go home with him.
Once Tessa had securely locked them in her room and turned to face Conner he was looking at her with a questioning gaze, but seemed to be debating whether or not to say anything. Tessa's smile slowly faded and she took a step forward.
