"Come on, Brynn! You have to go with me! Don't give me this 'I don't feel like it' or 'I hate these stupid dates of yours.' You know that I've been into this hunk, Johnny Lance, since we accidentally met at the Aikahi Burger King...you know, flirting and carrying on over facetime and calls. God, the guy is so hot that he makes me cream in my panties. And now after a week of innuendos and teasing, he wants to meet me again at a downtown Irish pub called Murphy's Bar and Grill. And he's bringing his wingman with him. Come on, you've got to be my 'shieldmaiden' and protect my back and to even the odds out."
"Terry, how many times have you dragged me along on your silly dates. Most of the time, you then end up leaving me alone to deal with some bone-head horny loser of a wingman while you and your interest skip out for a roll in the sack. What makes you think that this time will be any different?"
"Brynn Leahy! We've been 'besties' since high school! How dare you accuse me of sticking you with some undesirable hanger-on? Well, okay, I admit there were some losers in the wingman department. But come on...you are my best friend...the one who's logical and controlled...not like me who's emotional and...hey...I'm not a slut! Well, there were times when I was kind of wild and loose with a guy or two or three. But that's exactly why I need you...to stop me from going totally ape-shit and then regretting it."
"But Terry Conners, you never listen to me! Look, it's been only two months since we just arrived in Hawaii for graduate nursing school, and you're already trying to hook up with a guy. Sheesh, it's a good thing I made you get on the pill...although I don't know why I let you pull the 'besties-do-everything-together' to force me into getting on it too. At least you'll be safe when you have your fling, but don't bitch-and-moan later about the mistake you've made and why didn't I stop you. What makes you think that this time will be any different?"
"Well, for starters, Johnny and his wingman are Marine lieutenants... you know, like officers and gentlemen. They've been buds like you and me who served as enlisted marines and then applied to officer candidate school. Jimmy and Hector...that's your guy... share a lot of experience in the Corps. Come on, Brynn... please...pretty please?"
"Okay, okay! I know from experience that if I don't back you up, you'll never stop nagging me. But, if this Hector-guy turns out to be an 'octopus' dud...you know, all hands and touchy-feely with unreal expectations...you'll never hear the end of it from me, Terry."
"Understood, Brynn. Now, what are you thinking of wearing?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Brynn was lucky to find a parking stall right in front of Murphy's and the two girlfriends traipse into the bar as the happy-hour crowd was leaving. Finding a choice corner table, Brynn ordered a draft Guinness beer and Terry order a fruity pina colada. As they sipped their drinks, they watched the guys who passed through the front door.
"I think that's Johnny!" whispered Terry eagerly, "over there...standing next to that dark muscular guy."
Brynn looked over her mug as she took a sip of the brew. Johnny was about six-two, two-hundred something pounds, with reddish-blond hair and a pale complex. His dark-complexion companion was slightly shorter but more muscular. Both sought to cast surreptitious glances at them, before gathering their courage and drinks, and sauntering over to Terry's and Brynn's table.
"Terry? Hi! I'm Johnny. It's so good to finally see you again," Johnny said smoothly as he eased himself into an open chair. "And you must be Brynn...a pleasure to meet you. This is my bro, Hector, and I can say that we're pleased to hook up with you two fine ladies."
The ensuing conversation revolved mainly around the Terry-Johnny hook-up, totally and uncomfortably excluded Hector and Brynn. Finally, Johnny said after a lengthy whisper session with Terry said, "Hey, Hector, Terry and I are going for a ride. You don't mind catching an Uber back to our apartment, do you? Hey, thanks, 'Hoss!'"
Hector's face immediately hardened as his body tensed. Then he took a deep breath and visibly forced himself to relax and let go.
Terry then chimed in, "And Brynn, don't worry...I'll be okay. You can go back to our place whenever you want to. Hey, thanks for being here for me. Don't do anything that I wouldn't, 'Itty.'"
Brynn smirked and quickly flipped her best friend a middle finger. This only resulted in Terry laughing the gesture off before waltzed out of the pub with her Johnny. Neither of them even gave a second thought about their respective close-friends who they had suddenly deserted."
"God! I hate when Terry does this to me!" ranted Brynn once the front doors had closed behind her best friend. "Damn it, she always leaves me high and dry."
"I beg your pardon! Being left with me isn't' exactly being left high and dried. Since it's now only you and me, hi, I'm Hector Ramos...yes...a proud Chicano...Second Lieutenant... soon to be a First Lieutenant in the U.S. Marine Corps infantry. And you are?"
"Brynn Leahy...a proud Irish lass...who is attending the State's university in hopes of becoming a registered nurse. And if I can pass my board certification exam, I will be an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse Leahy which is the next best thing to a doctor, hmmph!" With that silly posturing, Brynn giggled uncontrollably before sipping her dark Irish brew .
"Okay, okay, truce," Hector conceded. "Let's agree that we are both impressed with each other. Now, that being said, how do we get to know each other better?"
"How about we get to ask each other one question, and the responder must answer truthfully and fully to the questioner's satisfaction? Since I am a liberated lady, I will let the gentleman go first. Ask away..."
"Ahh, Brynn, what the hell was your middle finger in response to the seeming nickname of 'Itty' that your best friend called you as she was leaving?"
"Ooh, you would have to have picked up on that. ell...I'll tell you...if you tell me why you got upset when your best friend called you 'Hoss.'"
At this challenge, Hector took a sip of his whiskey before uttering, "Shoots, little girl, bring it on! You share - I promise that I will share. Now, that being said, 'fess up, lovely lady."
Brynn took a gulp of her dark brew for moral fortitude before softly whispering, "I'm going to stand up and slowly turn around for your visual inspection. When I sit down, tell me what you think that I am lacking." With that said, Brynn stood and twirled about before a startled Hector.
"Well," Brynn said as she returned to her seat to take a quick sip of her Guinness, "What am I noticeably deficient in?"
An obviously stunned Hector sipped his whiskey before uttering, "Brynn, I believe ... no, you are so goddamn beautiful. However, if I have to say something, I think you're a bit small-breasted."
"Small breasted," chortled Brynn mockingly. "You're too kind, Hector. I am flat-chested with teeny boobs and even smaller nipples. Do you know what 'Brynn' means in Gaelic? Well, it means 'small hill'...and my hills are mighty small...almost flat.
"Anyway, the girls in high school swim team of whom Terry was one...used to tease me relentlessly that I was the team's fastest sprinter because I didn't have any 'drag' on my body...blatantly saying that I had no boobs. Girls can be cruel in the shower when you're not wearing clothing and I was always taunted as being 'itty-bitty-titties' from which my nickname of 'Itty' was derived." Then take a sip of her brew, Brynn sat back with a smile of anticipation on her face and uttered, "Your turn...Hoss."
"I'm not going to stand and twirl around as you did; however, I'll give you three guesses as to what "Hoss" may refer to."
"Let's see, 'Hoss' sound like 'horse.' So, do you like or are good with horses? No. hmmm, you're a joker who likes to horse around? No...hey, this is getting unfair... okay...the last question and then you have to tell me outright as promised. Oh, how about you always win when playing the basketball game of horse?"
"Good try, but no.' What I am about to say I hope will not offend you, but since I promised, here goes. You mentioned that in the showers it was hard for you to hide things without clothing...well...the same thing goes with me in showers and locker rooms." When Hector saw the lightbulb go on in Brynn's mind, he admitted, "'Hoss' refers to me being 'hung like a horse.' I am kind of...well endowed...if you know what I mean."
"You're kidding me!" When Hector just slowly shook and then hung his head in embarrassment, Brynn had to ask, "How...big...are you? I didn't notice your... 'junk'...when you approached Terry and me."
"Aah, that's because I wear pleated pants for extra room in the front and special boxer-briefs that stretch but restrain my manhood. When I'm flaccid, my penis is just shy of seven inches...and yes, before you ask, us men do measure ourselves, and I did it because I was being constantly asked what you asked."
Brynn gulped as she thought back to her high school and college boyfriends who ranged from not quite five inches to just six. 'Shy of seven' was something that she was a hard time grappling with. And then, it dawned on her, "Hector, you said when you're 'flaccid'...what size are you when fully erect?"
"Understand that I am not bragging or trying to impress you, but I promised to answer you truthfully and fully. Ummm, when I am fully erect, I grow to eight inches in length and am a little more than five inches in girth."
"Oh, my gosh, it's hard to imagine what you just described. You must be proud of your blessing."
"Blessing? It's a curse if you ask me. Men can't always control their erections. There are times when the little head doesn't listen to the big head, and then...shazam...one hell of an embarrassing erection. Then, you can't just buy and wear any kind of clothing, or else people will stare at your crotch, if you know what I mean.
"But the worst of all is the reaction of women when they see me swinging free and loose. Some are absolutely terrified and want nothing to do with me. Others treat me like some kind of freak...or a challenge that they have to try. However, once the novelty wears off or the experience is too painful, they leave me. I'm not Johnny's wingman for nothing... not many women are willing to jump into my bed."
"Oh wow! Sorry, I didn't know. But, hey, I can identify with what you've gone through. Not many clothes and even bras first when you flat-chested like me. And how I hate being told that I have such a 'girlish' figure...especially when they want to say 'boyish.' And yeah, I do know what it's like to be treated as if I was some sort of oddity by guys looking for something unusual have to sample. That's why I end up having to be Terry's fricking shieldmaiden. Being the founding member of the Itty-Bitty Titties sorority sucks!"
