Chapter Fifty Nine
The First Response
I received your message, but I still wondered and still fantasized about the possibilities of an encounter with you. I can not help it, the feelings are there and they are not going away any time soon. Maybe some day we will get to explore the things that goes through our minds. If you could read minds, you may get embarrassed by some of the things that goes through mine. I am only human with great sexual needs and desires, and I just envision those being fulfilled with you. If that is a crime then lock me up. Just because I do not act upon them does not mean they are not there. I can't stop thinking of you. I get a little distracted at times and then something brings me back to earth and to more thoughts of you. I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything since you consume 99.9% of what is going on in my brain. Mmmmm that can be a good thing.
I was deeply engrossed in work when you came sneaking up on me with that sexy grin of yours, it consumes me and makes me heat up inside. I smile back. What a great treat for me on such a day. I welcome the company. Just seeing you before me makes me feel so much better. It started out bad, but your presence has made it worth while. I welcome the break from the headache I have been having so far. Just seeing your for a few quick minutes makes it all better.
Every thought that I had before of being shy and embarrassed flew out the window. You approached me and I forgot that I had spilled the beans about my fantasy to you. I just talked to you as I always did. Of course, I still feel warm and flushed inside. I still get those butterflies in my belly when you are near. I guess that won't change.
You look so welcoming and so inviting. I just want to run off in the corner somewhere and be alone with you. It is hard not to be able to touch you or be close to you, well no more closer than before. I feel the heat radiating from my body as I imagine what those lips of yours feel like. I envision myself playing with your hair with my fingers, caressing your face, feeling your arms as they embrace me, I still want all of you. My desires are as heated as before. Maybe a touch more, since I have told you about them. I know you say you don't or can't be with me right now. This does not change the feeling or the thoughts that travel around in my mind. But I will be patient and wait. I have told you what is on my mind and what I would like for us to do, but you have denied me of that for now. It is up to you now. When you are ready to explore the avenues with me, I am sure you will tell me.
I am glad that the letter I gave you flattered you. I meant for it to be nothing but that. I had to tell you what I was feeling and what thoughts I was having for you. I needed to unburden myself before I went insane. I wanted you to know. I wanted you to imagine things the way I did. Even if you didn't at least I know I tried. At least I will not wonder what may have been, or went through the turmoil of would have, should have, could have. I know now that I put it out there and what happens next is fate. I know in my mind that I at least gave it a shot.
I guess you don't sit and think of being with me. I guess you don't desire my kisses, my warm embrace, or my hands upon your body exploring you. I suppose your thoughts have never turned my way, or ever ventured to fantasize us together. I must have been picking up the wrong signals thinking you would even think such things. I could have staked my life on it. Every thing I felt was off. Nah can't be. I still feel the heat from you. I still hear your heart pound as you come closer to me. I still say you too have these same thoughts. I know you do. Probably more now than ever. I am just going to bide my time and let you make the next to move. It still won't take away the lustful thoughts I have. It still won't take away the desires to be with you.