"If only..."
Angelus watched her as she left the house. He was connected with her, and her pain caused a tear to roll down his face. He knew that at that moment it took everything within her to hold her head high, to not let the pain consume her. He wished he could reach out to her, wished he could take it all away. But that was not the plan.
She walked the street alone, tears streaking down her cheeks. She loved him, more than life. She wanted to be with him, but it could never be. They both loved each other, more than some could hope to feel in a lifetime. But...his inner demons had finally won the war. She could no longer fight for him, it killed her too much. He was everything she wanted; if only he knew what was more important...perhaps things would not have had to end.
She wanted to run endlessly, hide herself from the world. But it would never happen. She dreamed of a world she could escape to...somewhere where the calm was tangible. But in this world, such a place does not exist.
She wrapped herself in her thoughts and let them comfort her. Her eyes were open now. Never would she let this heartbreak happen again...even if it meant she never loved again. A piece of her died that day...or so she thought.
*****
It had been seven years, and Kara had still not let anyone in. She didn't see how men longed for her; didn't see the hurt in everyone's eyes that knew her. She had exquisite beauty; but she never knew. She had long nurtured the idea that the one she was looking for, she had already let go. And yet, she came to this conclusion for she had not met another whose mind entertained her soul...as his did.
Kara was walking through the streets, letting her mind take her far away, when a sudden chill ran down her spine, and she realized where she was. That same street years ago...all the pain from the years long gone came rushing back, forming into a tangible pain in her heart.
She clutched her shirt, gasping for breath. The pain was too great, it had been held far too long. It took a strength she did not know she possessed to find a place to turn. She had never known an alley existed there; it seemed as if fate were guiding her.
Angelus watched, worried that Kara might not be strong enough to make it. When her hand reached the wall of the alley, she collapsed, her screams of pain so severe only Angelus could hear. Kara's hands clutched the snow beneath her as she realized it was the same day, seven years later. Eventually, the pain consumed her, and she drifted into blackness.
There was a comforting light around her.. its presence was indicating something in her mind; yet she could not grasp the meaning. She felt herself being drawn as she floated through a feeling she had not felt in years...that haze of love that takes away all fears... emptiness... pain. But she passed through it, and as she struggled to stay there, she got further away... and felt the all-encompassing pain of reality.
*****
He watched her seem to fight something in her sleep, saw the pain evident on her face. He wondered what such a beauty could be haunted by. She lay there like an angel, her long brunette curls framing her face. She was not tall, but then again, she was not petite by any means. Her bosom matched her bottom; she was not too skinny either.
If it weren't for the slightest bump in her nose, she would have been as perfect as a doll. He could only imagine what her eyes held; and so he yearned to see. He noticed a tear slip down her cheek, and was perplexed to no end.
Reality slapped her out of sleep. Her eyes snapped open, only to meet the curious eyes of...of a man. Fear crept up her spine, and the man watched her eyes turn from surprise to horror. It was the last thing he expected from someone who looked so beautiful. Nor did he expect her eyes to contain a deepness...that he was already lost in.
Suddenly he realized her situation. "I apologize, how rude of me. I am Cadogan." He waved and gave her a cheeky smile. He thought he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes, but when she said nothing, he thought he imagined it. "Umm.. I found you in an alley. You have been unconscious for hours."
With that fear crossed her face again. When she tried to speak, her voice hitched. He caught on immediately. "Oh how stupid of me. You must be dying of thirst." He scrambled around, eventually leaving the room. In any other situation, she would have burst out laughing, but she felt so strange...she could not pinpoint the sensation.
When he returned with a glass of water, she eyed him for a moment; then figured that if he meant her any harm he would have done it by now. As she took the glass from him, her fingers brushed against his and she froze. His touch rustled something deep within her...and she knew exactly what it was.
