Author's note: all characters are 18+
*
Jessie couldn't sleep.
She tossed and turned in her queen-sized bed, the blue and white striped comforter tangled between her legs.
The scene from yesterday afternoon played on a loop in her head.
Her teasing Finn, shamelessly exposing her body to him. Arching under his touch, purring like a kitten. His face, roiling with a mixture of want and anger—at her? At himself?
The pain of him slamming into her, unaware it was her first time. The deep remorse in his tone knowing he'd hurt her.
The faint bristle of his day-old beard scraping along the inside of her soft thigh.
The sleek wetness of his mouth as he tended to her wounds and apologized to her with his lips and tongue.
The way pleasure had overtaken her, drowning out the hurt, as he licked her, worshipped her, to a body-shaking orgasm.
His response to her seduction had been beyond anything she'd ever allowed herself to imagine. She'd wanted to see how far she could push him, and he'd completely lost control.
It made her wonder if he was ever really immune to her. Maybe he was just really good at hiding his feelings, she thought.
Then again... it could have just been a purely physical response. A guy didn't have to love a girl to want to fuck her. She knew that. And he could have just been reacting as any healthy twenty-one-year-old man would when a girl asked him to rub her down and showed him her breasts and...
Jessie flipped over, pounding her pillow in frustration. She was driving herself mad imagining what he was thinking. For what seemed like the thousandth time, she cursed her brother's shitty timing.
Aiden had shown up shortly after Finn had run inside to get rid of the condom- the evidence, she thought angrily. Obviously, they couldn't let her big brother know what they'd done, or he'd freak. Aiden was protective of her, but he also loved Finn like his brother, and she was suddenly aware of how this might not just piss her brother off—but might also put their lifelong friendship at risk.
She blew out a heavy breath and flopped onto her back.
It hurt that Finn had taken the opportunity to escape without talking to her—without revealing what he was thinking and feeling about what had just transpired next to her pool with his best friend's little sister.
Well, that wasn't actually true. She did have some indication of how he felt and what he thought.
Her body moved restlessly. There were too many emotions flowing through her body with nowhere to go. Anger, sadness, embarrassment...pain. It was gnawing a hole in her stomach, the knowledge that Finn had taken her virginity and then disappeared—because he regretted it.
She remembered all too well the only words that he'd spoken to her afterward: "we shouldn't have—" ... it wasn't even a complete sentence, for fuck's sake. But it was enough so that she got the message.
He thought it was a mistake.
And now it had been a day and a half of radio silence.
God, she was so STUPID! What did she think, she'd flash her boobs at the guy and he'd suddenly fall at her feet?
But that was the problem, wasn't it? She hadn't thought about the repercussions or what would happen afterward. She cursed her impulsive nature.
She suddenly sat up and swung her legs over the bed. She was tired of laying here, wallowing in her own self-pity.
She rummaged in her drawer, finding a pair of running shorts and throwing them on with a sports bra and a red tank top. Slipping into a pair of socks and her running shoes, she grabbed her iPhone and Bluetooth earbuds and headed outside.
It was pitch dark outside, the only light coming from dim street lamps and the winking stars overhead. The temperature had dropped at least fifteen degrees since the afternoon, but it was still warm.
Her neighborhood was a gated community with security, so she wasn't worried about running this time of night, although she realized her parents would have been upset with her if they knew she was outside by herself at one in the morning. So she was extra careful not to make a sound as she closed the front door, so she didn't wake anyone.
She turned on a poppy dance mix, plugged her ear buds in, and started to jog down her driveway. She turned in the direction of the community park.
The air was humid and heavy, as it always was in the summer. Jess lifted her face to the sky. She could smell the wild honeysuckle that grew throughout the area, combined with that earthy scent that portended a rainstorm. Petrichor, she remembered her science teacher telling her it was called, the smell right before it rains.
She ran and ran, pumping her body, the exertion required for the physical exercise drumming every other thought out of her head as she focused on drawing breath through her burning lungs.
As she approached the park, she was distracted by a truck turning the corner, and she landed awkwardly, rolling her ankle.
"Shit!"
She caught herself, just barely, before she sprawled on the pavement. She tested her ankle. There was a bit of pain, but she could still walk on it.
Out of her peripheral vision, she saw that the truck had pulled over. Her breath caught and she froze.
It was Finn.
That fucker. This was not how she wanted to see him, sweaty and gross, her unwashed hair in a messy ponytail, and not quite recovered from her stumble.
Well, she wasn't going to sit here and wait for him.
Without looking in his direction, she walked into the park, heading toward one of the wooden benches that sat on the edges of the playground.
He caught up to her, his angry voice reaching her ears. "What the hell are you thinking, running alone in the middle of the night?"
She didn't answer him, just continued toward the bench. He frowned at her slight limp. Concern tinged his voice. "Jessie. Are you ok?"
She still did not acknowledge him.
"Jessie!" He grabbed for her arm, turning her to face him.
"Stop calling me that," she snapped. "It's Jess. My fucking name is Jess!"
She yanked her arm from his grasp and sat down on the bench heavily, picking up her ankle to look at it and make sure she was all in one piece.
She felt his big body fill the space on the bench next to her. She stole a peek at him, looking sideways as she pretended to examine her injury.
As always, the perfection of his face made her feel like she'd been socked squarely in her solar plexus. His eyes glittered with —irritation? Anger? Concern? — and his strong, square jaw was covered with two-days-worth of stubble. She shivered as she involuntarily recalled how that slight bristle had felt between her legs.
"Are you ok?" He rumbled, repeating the question he'd asked a few moments before.
"I'm fine." She focused her eyes on her ankle, massaging it. The anger and pain she'd blocked out with punishing exercise came roaring back now, making her feel like she wanted to double over with the force of it.
"Here, let me look," he muttered, reaching for her ankle.
She jerked away. "Don't touch me!"
His jaw clenched, anger clouding his features. "That wasn't what you were saying yesterday," he gritted out.
Her head whipped back as if she'd been slapped. She felt her eyes burning and she blinked back tears. She refused to break down in front of him.
Finn swore at her expression. "Shit, I'm sorry." He ran his hands through his dark golden hair with a frustrated sound, making it stand on end.
Saying nothing, Jess looked out at the playground, where she and Aiden and Finn had spent so many hours as kids.
"I'm sorry," she heard him say again, his voice low.
"For what, exactly?" She still refused to turn her head to look at him. "Popping my cherry and then disappearing for almost two days?"
He cringed at her bluntness. "Jessie—" he caught himself and corrected, "JESS." He leaned back, staring up at the indigo sky, where a sliver of moon was barely visible through the gathering storm clouds.
"Honestly? I panicked." He rubbed his jaw. "You're—you're like my little sister."
She whirled her head around and met his eyes, her face furious. "I'm NOT your little sister! I never have been!"
She took a breath, trying to calm her racing heart. "You can't have not known how I felt about you." She shook her head. "You can't be that stupid."
Finn looked away. "I... suspected," he admitted. "I thought it was just a crush. At first I was kind of flattered, thought it was sweet. And then I came home last summer and you—" he ran his hands through his hair again, agitated. "You'd changed."
"Changed how?"
"I don't know, it was like I'd left for college and you were this awkward kid, and then I come home and you suddenly..." he trailed off, grasping for words. "You had tits!"
She surprised herself with a laugh.
