One could conclude the term "happily married" conveys what is says. But that's the quality inherent in adverbs; they're fuzzy. They're the chenille in a pile of written fabrics; the stick that led me down this path.
Honestly, I've never every thought about playing outside of my marriage. To put this into perspective, cheating on my husband with a much younger man doesn't deserve to be called a thought. It's been merely a playful fantasy, up until early last week.
I'll be the first to admit that after years of marriage to Jeff, we appear to be joined at the hip. Together we're a well-oiled machine. But sometimes I feel like a horse with a bit.
Initially I loved the way Jeff would reign me in for a kiss. He'd take my by surprise, pull me in close and give me a kiss that felt like a hit. He made me dizzy and I sensed he yearned for my ride.
If there's an explanation for the way me and Jeff started to drift it is simply the sense of decline I felt whenever we kissed. Maybe there's a finite number of passionate kisses two people can share. Perhaps me and Jeff just allowed ourselves to burn through our stack.
When Eric first hit me up with a text then a chat, it seemed playful enough. Like most men he was attracted to my appearance. His compliments encouraged me and i found myself wanting to please him, to bring a smile to his face.
Initially, we met for coffee at our local grocery store. It was harmless enough. Later standing by his truck in the parking lot, we both dropped a couple of hints, just a neighborly sort of flirt.
For whatever reason. it never occurred to me that Eric could become someone I miss. So when Eric when silent last week, I became quite simply a mess.
"Is something the matter," Jeff asked, after I'd waited hours for Eric's non-existent ping. "I don't know Jeff, I'm not sleeping soundly. Summer is over; adjusting I guess." Jeff gave me his usual decline of a kiss.
On Monday, Jeff went to work and I took a well earned day off, beginning with a bath. I dressed in a way I thought Eric couldn't resist.
The local grocery store was crowded, with all of the work from home types stocking up after the weekend. Walking through the store, i purposefully avoided the coffee shop.
Eric wouldn't be there and even if he was, I refused to allow myself to make such a blatant approach. Particularly after his inexcusable week of silence.
"Hey." I heard over my right shoulder. Eric's now familiar voice sent chills down my neck. When I turned he was standing in front of the greeting card section, apparently looking for a birthday wish.
I asked offhandedly about his selection. "My nephew's birthday is today. I need to buy him a gift."
