One could conclude the term "happily married" conveys what is says. But that's the quality inherent in adverbs; they're fuzzy. They're the chenille in a pile of written fabrics; the stick that led me down this path.
Honestly, I've never every thought about playing outside of my marriage. To put this into perspective, cheating on my husband with a much younger man doesn't deserve to be called a thought. It's been merely a playful fantasy, up until early last week.
I'll be the first to admit that after years of marriage to Jeff, we appear to be joined at the hip. Together we're a well-oiled machine. But sometimes I feel like a horse with a bit.
Initially I loved the way Jeff would reign me in for a kiss. He'd take my by surprise, pull me in close and give me a kiss that felt like a hit. He made me dizzy and I sensed he yearned for my ride.
If there's an explanation for the way me and Jeff started to drift it is simply the sense of decline I felt whenever we kissed. Maybe there's a finite number of passionate kisses two people can share. Perhaps me and Jeff just allowed ourselves to burn through our stack.
When Eric first hit me up with a text then a chat, it seemed playful enough. Like most men he was attracted to my appearance. His compliments encouraged me and i found myself wanting to please him, to bring a smile to his face.
Initially, we met for coffee at our local grocery store. It was harmless enough. Later standing by his truck in the parking lot, we both dropped a couple of hints, just a neighborly sort of flirt.
For whatever reason. it never occurred to me that Eric could become someone I miss. So when Eric when silent last week, I became quite simply a mess.
"Is something the matter," Jeff asked, after I'd waited hours for Eric's non-existent ping. "I don't know Jeff, I'm not sleeping soundly. Summer is over; adjusting I guess." Jeff gave me his usual decline of a kiss.
On Monday, Jeff went to work and I took a well earned day off, beginning with a bath. I dressed in a way I thought Eric couldn't resist.
The local grocery store was crowded, with all of the work from home types stocking up after the weekend. Walking through the store, i purposefully avoided the coffee shop.
Eric wouldn't be there and even if he was, I refused to allow myself to make such a blatant approach. Particularly after his inexcusable week of silence.
"Hey." I heard over my right shoulder. Eric's now familiar voice sent chills down my neck. When I turned he was standing in front of the greeting card section, apparently looking for a birthday wish.
I asked offhandedly about his selection. "My nephew's birthday is today. I need to buy him a gift."
"And how have you been" he said.
I fell again for his casual charm and found myself aroused by his ability to move into the roll of an overgrown boy. Eric is 26 and I'm 39.
I've never thought of myself as a Cougar, but the ideal appealed to me now. "One of us will assume the lead from here, and that's probably me," I thought.
"I'm running a few errands today; maybe you could use my help selecting a gift," I said.
"Oh yes, that would be awesome Susie. If you want to drive, I'll drop my truck off at my house."
The fact that Eric had a house was news to me. And I had no idea whether or not he had a job, or even a girlfriend for that matter.
"I'm about two miles from here. You can follow me."
