his
foot. She watched it splinter into a million pieces, much like how she felt her real heart was doing now.
"Snapback: Look, if you're talking about me and Cindy, then I think we ought to have a serious talk.
Silvery: Yes, I think we ought to. But then, there probably isn't much for you to explain is there? What you told me was a spur of the moment thing, wasn't it? You only had re-occurring feelings for me AT THAT MOMENT. But not now. That's what you meant, wasn't it?
Snapback: Calm down. I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just flirting. I don't know why, it comes naturally. And no, it wasn't just a spur of the moment thing, I still love you. I really do.
Silvery: You flirted with another girl! You even kissed! Where do you draw the line? Is there even a limit to what you consider 'flirting'? I've watched you do it for awhile now, and at first I ignored it, but now I can see that you don't care an iota for how this would make me feel."
She couldn't believe her eyes. They must have been deceiving her. He thought it was okay to do this to her?
"Silvery: Is it because we don't even live in the same HEMISPHERE anymore, let alone continent, country or city, that you think you can go and fuck around with my feelings like that? I don't appreciate that, and neither would you. How would you feel if I went and chased a bunch of guys around? Kissed them, touched them?!
Snapback: Give me a break, it was ONLY flirting.
Silvery: It's been about a year since we broke up, and you told me that you still had feelings for me, that you still loved me. You told me that you had loved me the moment you laid eyes on me. And I felt the same way. And this, this is like a slap in the face. I don't know what else you have done, with what other girls. I don't know if I can trust you anymore Shane.
Snapback: What?! Give me a break! What do you really want? An apology? A promise that I'll never do it again? Look...I love you. I love you a lot."
A sob escaped her throat.
What is he playing at? How can he lie to me like this?
She wiped at the few tears that were trailing down her cheeks.
This is such utter bullshit. Pure bullshit!!
"Silvery: I don't know if I should believe you...Maybe it would be better if we didn't act upon our feelings. You don't sound very sincere, especially not with how you've been acting. I don't know if I can handle that.
Snapback: Silv, come on, don't be like that. I truly do care about you. I'll prove it to you. Just you wait. I really do love you. I haven't been with anyone else! I swear!
Silvery: Do your best, because I still care about you, and if I can't trust you, and I
can't trust my heart, then what can I trust? I thought I knew you Shane, I thought I knew who you were. It's been so many years but I guess I didn't know you at all. I guess it was all a lie. You've hurt me. I'm going now. I'll talk to you some other time. Bye.
Snapback: I'm sorry. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?
Silvery: Sure, whatever. Good bye Shane."
Tears were falling freely down her cheeks. They glistened in the light from the monitor. She grabbed some facial tissues and mopped at her face. She clenched a fist and pressed it against her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and fought to hold back the rest of her tears. Her heart was broken again, she didn't know what to do. This is the second time he had broken her heart. She couldn't believe him, yet she couldn't disbelieve him either. She hiccuped. Her heart told her to trust him, but her mind told her that he was like the other guys she had dated – jerks, liars and all around fuckers.
I sure know how to choose them, don't I?
She laughed bitterly to herself again.
I'm so fucking dumb. So fucking stupid. I deserve this. I should have seen this coming. After knowing him for 3 years you think I'd get the picture. You'd think I'd know the real him by now. She knew he wouldn't come back. He had nothing to come back to. There's no point in me visiting him. Fuck, I am so stupid. I actually believed he'd come back to me, that he'd wait for me. Lies, all lies.
She looked out her window at the snow. Soft looking flakes fell from the dark sky, glittering like tiny diamonds that floated to the ground. It looked so magical, so fresh and clean. A few stray tears trickled down her cheeks. She wiped the tears and scrubbed at her eyes with the palm of her hands. She had put so much trust into their relationship. He had even made a pact with her that whoever made enough money would visit the other person where they live. She lived in Canada, he lived in New Zealand.
That would never work, but I had hope then. Now I have nothing. Not even that dream. He said he would come back, dare I hope? Dare I?
She smacked herself on the cheek, laughing cruelly at herself.
Haha, idiot.
She tried to ignore the pain that radiated from her heart, not even noticing that her cheek stung.
The next few days, she spoke to Shane two or three times, but it was by chance. She was doing her best to go online when he wasn't on. She didn't feel like listening to his reasons. They only made her feel worse. She immersed herself in her work. Soon, February came around and she stopped hearing from him. She figured he had stopped bothering to come online anymore, or at least when she was on. She didn't bother to seek him out either, even though she itched to contact him in anyway possible. She wasn't happy, but she wasn't angry or upset anymore either. She felt drained and bereft of emotion at all. When she had free moments, she would think about how much she missed him, and her heart would race as she reminisced about the kissing and the lovemaking. But those free moments were rare; she tried to keep busy as often as possible.
Every time she had gone into town, she had barely noticed the red and white decorations, so it came as a shock to her that Valentine's Day was coming up. She had been so wrapped up in her grief and work that she had barely thought of anything else. She thought back to Shane and laughed bitterly.
They're right, breakups do occur the most around Valentine's Day. I can't believe him. I loved him. Trusted him. Now look what he's done. That bastard.
Soon, it was Valentine's Day. Silv ignored it and treated it like any other day. She knew that while other couple's were preparing wonderful surprises for each other, she was home by herself, her heart empty and aching for what she could never have. She had refused to go into town that day, so she had nothing to eat. Finally giving in to her stomach, she hopped into the car and drove to the grocery store. She was quick about it and grabbed anything that looked appealing to her then hurried home.
Silv was preparing her dinner in the kitchen, and trying not to let the holiday get to her, by not thinking of him, which made her think of him more. As she was doing this, she heard a knock at her door. She went to answer it, still thinking about Shane. At the door stood a man bearing a huge red heart-shaped box of candy and a bouquet of long stemmed red and white roses wrapped in silver foil.
