Going Home for the Holidays

Lori made her way along Main Street, enjoying the Christmas music and festive air. Dark green wreaths with colored lights hung from streetlamps and store windows held displays of red, green and silver, Santa, elves and presents.

Juggling packages, she opened the door to the coffee shop that had been her favorite when she lived in the city, six years before. A cloud of rich coffee scented air swirled around her. She almost laughed aloud at the appropriateness of "I'll be Home for Christmas" as it played over the speakers. She needed to take a load off and get a cup of something hot. Returning from Texas, she did not have the most appropriate clothes for the weather in New York and her body had become unaccustomed to the cold weather they were having.

The line was long but moving quickly as she took her place at the end. Lori glanced over at the table in the corner, where she and Derek had so often sat. It was occupied today by a pair of middle-aged lovebirds, sharing a laugh and holding hands over a couple of steaming mugs. At one point she had thought that would be Derek and her down the road. Lori sighed.

He's probably married with a couple little munchkins running around, calling him Daddy.

Lori had left Derek behind when she went off for her junior year of college in Texas. She didn't exactly regret the decision, she hadn't been ready to get married, and the full scholarship they had offered for the last two years of her Bachelor's was important to her education. She loved her chosen profession. Building websites for people combined her writing ability and her love of art and graphic design. Still, she had never met anyone who measured up to him.

Lori took a step as the line moved forward. Up the line, one man seemed to stand out, head and shoulders above the others between them. She took in the broad shoulders. Woolly fleece peaked out from the turned over collar of his denim jacket. His dark hair was topped with a dark cap of some kind and he was tall, to say the least. He turned as he ordered so that she could see him in profile. His face had a slightly rugged look with a beard and mustache. Maybe there were other possibilities out there.

He's cute... and he looks familiar.

As she scrutinized his face, he turned and looked directly at her. Their eyes met and she looked away.

Oh my God.

Could it be? Derek?

She was not ready to face him. What if he had a wife? Kids! What if he really did have a wife and kids? Her heart seemed to lodge in her throat. What if he didn't recognize her? Or, worse yet, what if he did and just didn't give a damn after all this time? She felt like her heart skipped a beat at the thought. No, she was definitely not ready to face the possibilities.

She turned to flee and promptly ran into another patron, a short man in a wrinkled suit with thinning hair and a red face.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry." Lori stepped back and scooped up the packages she'd just dropped.

A deep, masculine voice came from behind her. "Lori?"

She cringed and closed her eyes for a moment then pasted a smile on her face and turned around. "Derek?"

Lori found herself swept up in a bear hug that lifted her several inches off the ground, dropping her packages again.

Oh, my God.

He smelled so good, like pine and Dial soap mixed with his own special Derek-ness. Derek had been her first - her first kiss, her first love . . . her first lover. Being wrapped in his arms again was like coming home.

Her cell phone rang and Derek set her down. She grabbed the phone out of her purse and looked at the display. "Sorry, I'd better get this. It's my mother. I called her and left her a message saying to call me. She'll be worried if she can't reach me." She felt like she was babbling so she accepted the call and started picking up her packages as she spoke, "Hi, Mom."

Derek reached down to help her and they moved out of line, off to the side.

"Hi, dear. I just got your message. What's up?"

"I thought I'd surprise you and Dad for Christmas. I'm on my way."

"Oh, that's wonderful! Where are you? When will you be here?"

Lori thought for a moment. She glanced over at Derek. He had seemed genuinely happy to see her. She couldn't just walk away from an opportunity to reconnect with him, especially when it was dropped in her lap this way. She'd get a hotel room for the night. "Tomorrow. I'm in the city, catching up with some friends." She said goodbye to her mom and put the phone away.

"Not seeing your parents until tomorrow?" he asked with a grin.

Lori nodded. "I was thinking of trying to catch up with some old friends in town tonight," she said smoothly.

Derek's smile faded a little. "Well, could I buy you dinner first?"

Lori smiled warmly. "I'd like that."

They walked over to the municipal parking lot and stowed the presents Lori had bought in the trunk of her car.

"How about Randall's?" Derek suggested.

"Sounds good." Randall's was an upscale steakhouse with dim lighting, good food and soft music. They'd be able to get comfortable and visit for a while. It was only two blocks away.

"How long are you going to be around for?" he asked as they walked up the sidewalk, dodging other shoppers. He tucked her arm in his so they didn't get separated.

She felt a little warmer already. "Like I said, I'm going up to my parents house tomorrow and spend Christmas with them, but I'm planning to stay in the area after that. I'm not really sure exactly how long. I was going to look at the job market here. My parents are getting older, I'd like to be nearer to them." She felt Derek's gaze on her face and looked over at him.

He was staring intently at her. "Nothing to keep you there in Texas?

Lori smiled and shook her head. "Not really." She had dated off and on and there had been a good ol' boy that she dated for a year, but the truth was that no one ever measured up to the man walking beside her. She knew that it wasn't fair to judge other relationships against your first love. She was sure she had idealized their relationship in her memory. Things couldn't possibly have been as good if she remembered - his touch as thrilling, his kisses as intoxicating. Just the same, she needed to know for sure.

"I'm sure your parents will be very happy to have you home again," Derek commented.

"At least a hell of a lot closer," she laughed. "I don't intend to move back in with them, but this was always a nice place to live."

"I'd certainly agree to that. I've always thought it would be a good place to raise a family."

A little frisson of fear worked itself up Lori's spine making her shiver.

A family?

"You thinking about taking the plunge?"

"Well, it's beginning to feel like the right time. Almost did a while back, thought I'd found the right person. Didn't work out." Derek shrugged. "I've always wanted to get married and have a family. Can't wait forever."

Lori peeked over at him, frustrated. Was the person "a while back" her? Was he talking about them? Was there someone else now or wasn't there?

"Here we are." Derek opened the door for her.

They stepped inside and Lori felt the heat begin to seep back into her. "Oh, thank God!" She opened her jacket to let the warmth in. It was freezing outside. When the sun had gone down the air had turned bitter cold. "I haven't had any gloves for a couple of years. I should have bought some while I was out shopping." She rubbed her hands together, but Derek grabbed them in his big hands, raised them to his lips and blew warmth on them. She froze and her lips parted but she couldn't seem to breathe.

He smiled. "We'll get them warmed up, don't worry."

Lori shivered as she stared at Derek's lips, but this time it wasn't because she was cold. She tore her gaze away from Derek's penetrating one and tried to focus on the Waylon Jennings song playing on the speakers.

A perky little blonde greeted them. "Will you be two for dinner?"

Derek let go of one hand, but squeezed the other as he said yes to the hostess.

She consulted her book. "We should have a table soon if you want to take a seat over by the fireplace to wait."

"Do you have time?" Derek asked Lori.

She shrugged. "Sure."

"Okay," Derek agreed. They had a seat on a rustic pine bench with dark blue plaid covered cushions near a fireplace. Their knees touched.

Lori didn't know if it was intentional, but everything he did and said brought memories rushing back. The first time they had made love was after dinner at a steakhouse like this. After dinner they had stood to go and he had simply leaned in and kissed her, once, quickly and she had known that would be the night. The memory made Lori swallow hard.

"So, where are you living now?" Lori asked, trying to sound casual.

Derek leaned back stretching his long legs out and resting one arm along the back of the bench behind her. "I'm in the same apartment. I just have it to myself now."

"That must get lonely." Lori couldn't imagine living completely alone. She had tried it once and had found it detrimental to her mental health.

Derek shrugged. "I guess I've gotten used to it. You mentioned looking for work. What line of business are you in now?"

"I'm in web site design. I could probably do that from just about anywhere, but I thought I'd look around and see if there was any jobs, any steady work available, around here."

Derek looked thoughtful. "Would you consider that some form of advertising?"

Lori thought for a minute. "It's a bit of a stretch, but I suppose you could."

"I do happen to know of one opportunity locally, at the library. They're going to be looking for a new webmaster soon. The job is part webmaster and part PR, putting out press releases, that sort of thing. It's thirty hours a week, at least right now."

"Oh really? That sounds very interesting. How did you hear about this job?" she asked.

"I work for the library," Derek responded. "I'm their IT Tech. I keep the network running, debug the computers, that sort of thing."

Lori was somewhat surprised. "I didn't know you were into computers. When I left you were doing construction."

"Construction in the summer and plowing snow in the winter gets old when the work is seasonal. I took a two-year degree a few years ago from the community college. I've been working for the library for a couple years now."

She shouldn't be so surprised, Lori realized. Had she expected things to stand still while she was gone? Not really. She had just been more concerned about his marital status than his employment. Now she cared more about whether he was the same Derek she remembered and whether that connection still existed between them.

She cracked a smile. "Well it's nice to know you can afford to buy me dinner." Lori didn't want to be obvious, but she was deadly curious as to whether there were any little Dereks running around.

"It's a good salary," Derek commented. "Particularly for a single guy." The barest hint of a smile played around his lips. He knew that she'd been wondering and with that comment, he let his interest be known as well.

Derek's hand seemed to move of its own accord, coming to rest on her neck, rubbing the pressure points just like he used to. "I like this southern accent you've acquired."

Flustered by the touch that made her want to close her eyes and purr, Lori feigned shock. "Accent? Me? Nevah."

Lori felt her whole body coming to life just because of the proximity of this handsome man in a way that it never had when Brad was around. She uncrossed and recrossed her legs, pulling her skirt down closer to her knees. She was getting a little warm down there.

Her action had the unintended consequence of drawing Derek's eyes down to her bare knees. He reached out and touched the scar on her right knee. "I remember how you got that."

Lori felt herself blushing, something she hadn't done in a long while. She had gotten the scar when she fell out of Derek's bed onto something on his floor. "Was that your camera?" she asked.

"I think it was..." His voice trailed off, he shook his head. "To be honest, I can't remember. I just remember you bleeding and bandaging up your knee."

His thumb rubbed across the scar in a familiar manner that made Lori shiver. She remembered many times when his fingers glided across her knee, and then slid up under her skirt. From the look on Derek's face, he remembered those times too.

He leaned a little closer. "What do you say we get out of here? I'm sure there's somewhere we can go without waiting."

"Sure," Lori replied. "Where to?"

Derek looked thoughtful. Lori could read his mind as if he were telegraphing it. "I've redecorated since you last saw the apartment. We could take a walk over there, if you want? I could fix us something to eat. I have a little more than beer in my refrigerator."

Lori was a little unsure how to respond. She wanted to go back to his apartment, almost desperately, but she didn't want to seem desperate. She hoped he had something in mind because being this near him was causing reactions in her body that she hadn't anticipated. An image of his naked body rose to her minds as she'd seen it so many times before. If they didn't get moving soon she'd be sitting in a puddle.

She nodded silently and they stood as one. Lori looked up at him, fighting the urge to lean in. Derek kept one hand at the small of her back as he guided her out of the restaurant. When he removed his hand, she swore it felt a little colder outside, but then he reached down, took her hand in his and led her up the street.

"Right up here."

"Oh, I remember," she responded.

He looked down at her. "Do you?"

Lori had the feeling he wasn't really asking her if she remembered the way to his apartment. She looked up at him. "I remember pretty much everything."

He raised one eyebrow. "Oh really? Do you remember..." He pulled her back into the dark shadow of an empty shop doorway and into his arms. "Do you remember this?" he asked, pressing his lips to hers.

Her eyes slid shut and Lori reached up to his shoulders to steady herself, the world was suddenly spinning and then reduced to just the two of them and the physical connection.

When he lifted his head, Lori replied, "Oh, yeah. I remember this too." She leaned in and ran the tip of her tongue up the left side of his neck and heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Almost forgot that," he replied.

Derek tugged her out of the shadows and they walked quickly up the rest of the block.

In the apartment, Derek flipped on the lights. Lori suddenly found herself feeling shy.

Derek shrugged out of his jacket. "Can I take your jacket?" he asked softly.

She slipped out of it and handed it over, still not meeting his gaze.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Sure."

"I have cranberry juice and gin, beer, and, I think, lemonade. Or coffee?" He snapped his fingers. "I think I have some whiskey."

She smiled. "You remember."

"You always did like your coffee with a shot of whiskey at the end of the evening."

She thought it might be better to slow things down. "Maybe after dinner. I'll start with some lemonade."

"As you wish." He returned in a moment with a glass of lemonade for her and a bottle of beer for himself. He gestured to the sofa and they sat down, not quite at opposite ends.

Lori was looking around. "You've changed things quite a bit since I was last here."

Derek shrugged. "Posters of bands and spool coffee tables get old when you become an adult."

"It's nice."

Derek had gotten modern art deco style glass end tables and black metal lamps as well as a champagne colored micro suede sofa and arm chair. The carpet was a short shag of dark brown, champagne and light turquoise.

"So, you said you're not seeing anybody down in Texas?" he asked.

"Well, there was someone but we broke up a few months ago."

"Oh?"

She rolled her eyes and laid her head on the back of the couch, not meeting his gaze. "He said I never let him in, never let him get close enough to really be a couple."

"That doesn't sound like you."

She shrugged.

"It probably was true." She looked away, took a deep breath and then spit out what she was thinking. "I was still in love with you."

Derek stopped with his beer bottle halfway to his mouth. "What?"

The words tumbled out of her mouth. "You can't be with someone else when you're constantly thinking about another person. You've always been the one for me, ever since high school. I've never stopped thinking about you. Well, I did for a little while, but..."

She stumbled to a stop and looked up at him, looking for some kind of response.

He just looked at her, as if stunned.

She shrugged. "I didn't delude myself that you were ever quite there with me. It's okay." She got up to grab her jacket and purse. "I'd better get going."

"Wait." He stood. "You can't just say something like that and walk away. You've got to give me a minute to... process it. I... thought about you all the time after you left. Then I tried to put you out of my head. I never found someone who could fill your space in my heart either."

"Really?" she asked, squeakily.

Derek nodded. "Really."

He took her hands and pulled her back to the couch, sitting, down side by side but turned so that he could meet her gaze. "I love you. I've always loved you. You know that, don't you?"

The tenderness in his face as he held her hands in his, was plain to see. How could she ever have doubted it? At that moment, she felt deliciously happy. Nothing would ever be as perfect as this point in time and it felt like eternity.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, putting all of the energy of her anxiety, longing and fear that he would be taken already and the love she had for him into it. It pushed him back onto the couch so that she was half lying on top of him. Lori pulled back, slightly mortified.

He threw his head back and laughed, pulling her back down on top of him. "You never did do things by halves," he said before he cupped her jaw with his hands to guide her lips back to his.

She found herself straddling his lap in the most intimate way possible as his lips caressed hers. Her fingers itched to slide into his hair and she took advantage of the support of his body to do just that, sliding her fingers up through his silky crisp hair.

His hands left her jaw and she shuddered at the sensations racing through her as his fingertips slid down her neck, barely tracing the contours of her body, over the peaks of her breasts down the soft round of her belly and out over her hips to cup the soft resistance of her buttocks and urge her to ride him as he thrust upward into the cradle of her heat.

Lori moaned at the rhythmic friction and he answered her with a groan of his own then she found her world tilted as he turned them so that she lay back on the sofa, while he went down on his knees in front of her, dragging her pants down her legs with wicked intention written clearly on his face, pulling her panties with them.

She held her breath in anticipation as he pulled her shoes and socks off then began kissing his way up her inner thighs, alternating from one to the other and back, his eyes locked on hers. It was cool in the room but she suddenly wanted to be far more naked than she was. Fumbling, she pulled her silky top off over her head and flung it away then reached back, unhooked her bra and did the same with it.

She sucked in her breath as his tongue made first contact with her labia, a long slow stroke that made her fingers grasp for something to hold onto. She began to knead her own breasts. Her hips arched into his mouth of their own volition as her eyes slid shut and she simply slipped into the sensations coursing through her body. Her body tensed and released with every teasing slide of his tongue over her sex.