I didn't know her and she didn't know me. But yet, we shared more about ourselves with each other than with anyone else. She had sent me her picture and I in turn had sent her mine as well. Her name was Sarah and she was beautiful. Brunette hair, sparkling hazel eyes, a face that was perfection in every sense of the word, and hands that I knew if I could only hold for just one moment, I would have touched an angel.
I had never met a person quite like her. Beauty not only as a physical aspect, but internal as well. She was kind and her heart pure with good intent. My life had been filled with women who had used me as their toy. Parading around with me on their arm to make themselves appear better than all the rest. They didn't love me, nor did they have any intentions of trying to. I was neglected in sex. I always pleased the woman I was with, never once asking for anything in return. And never once did they offer to please me.
Love was unknown to me, until that fateful day when I stumbled into the chat room and met the one person I had been waiting and searching for my entire lifetime. The second we had met, I could feel the proverbial "spark" inside of me. The conversation was about trifle things. Topics eavesdroppers would have fallen asleep to, but to us, it was the most interesting conversation we had ever had.
We talked about our interests, where we worked, what we did in spare time. She worked for a travel agency, sometimes getting to visit different areas of not only this country, but of the world. I envied her, getting to go to all those places, but the envy soon transformed itself into a need to be with her in all of those places. I felt like such a fool, telling her that I worked in a retail pet store as a manager. I was certainly not her equal. She told me there was nothing wrong with retail, but of course, then again, they all do.
The topic of conversation evolved from work to love life. She had been hurt in the past by lovers and she shared with me some of her stories. I hated the men who would dare defile such a delicate flower like her. The men that tried to take away her dignity and lust for life. I wanted to protect her from such experiences every happening to her again. The feeling was overwhelming and I began to lose myself in a daydream of being with her. She brought me back from my fantasy by turning the conversation to sex. What we liked, what we disliked.
Time passed. Hours passed. We had talked nearly half the day and still had not run out of topics. She had told me earlier in the day that she needed to be at work early the next day. It was already 2:00am. I knew she needed to go, and I desperately tried to refrain from reminding her of her early appointments. But my fingers were already busily typing the words "shouldn't you rest, my dear? You have to get up early." Unfortunately, I was right and with a long drawn out good-bye and an exchange of email addresses, she left and I was alone. I stared at the computer screen blankly finding myself missing her and longing for her name to appear in the list just one more time.
I was confused how I could have such strong emotions for a woman I had not known for more than a few hours. I read our conversation again, trying desperately to find a clue as to what words she had used to make me have such strong feelings for her. But there were no particular words. It was only her and who she was that had me enthralled with her.
I pulled up my email account and made an attempt to write an email worthy of her to read. I wanted to tell her how I felt, but the words failed me. I typed things into the blank space and quickly deleted them, deeming them foolish and a waste of her time to read. I tried to concentrate, desperately trying to use words and language that I felt would impress her. But still, I could not find the words. I leaned back in my chair, putting my hands behind my head and closing my eyes. Picturing her in my mind, my fantasy from earlier began to develop once again. And then I knew, what I needed to type...
