Anxiety. Nervousness.
Late.
I sighed as I glanced at the time in the lower right corner of the monitor knowing that it wouldn't change anything. He was late. One day before he would be moving out of the country to graduate school he had promised to log on so they could say their good-byes. As his life at home with his parents was about to end so was the more stable part of their relationship. Even though he lived 6 hours away by plane, at least I knew that he would be available most of the time. Now that he was going back to school I wasn't sure if I would even get that tenous connection with him...
Maybe he'd even get tired of trying to make a long-distance relationship work and fall in love with one of the locals...
"Stop torturing yourself." I thought, "Its just making things worse."
I looked at the clock again: 20 minutes late. Usually when David and I set a date he would always show up early. My overactive brain starting spinning horrible circumstances that might justify his tardiness.
"You know a watched pot never boils, Shanna." My roommate Kaiya chimed in.
"Am I that obvious?" I said, frowning as I swung around to face her.
"That which is important facilitates routine." She quoted petulantly.
"Where is that one from?" I asked hesitantly, not really interested.
"Oh, its an old-saying I just made up." She replied with a grin. "Or would you prefer the translation? 'You miss the boyfriend' or 'Me Likey Bouncy'."
I rolled my eyes as I was attempting to come up with something witty to say when I heard a 'Moooo' from my computer signaling that someone had just logged on.
"I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Kaiya chuckled to herself as she left the room carrying some homework.
I quickly swung back to my computer to see who had signed on-
* * *
WorriedWook327: Hiya Honey! Sorry I'm a little late, just had some last minute laundry to finish up so I could finish packing.
ConfusedCutie86: I was starting to worry you had forgotten =(
WorriedWook327: Forget? You? Never =)
WorriedWook327: Hows the Shanna honey doing?
ConfusedCutie86: Okay I guess...Just missing you alot
WorriedWook327: I know... I miss you too
WorriedWook327: Whats your schedule like tomorrow? I like knowing what you're up to while I'm on the plane bored out of my mind =)
ConfusedCutie86: I have Physics, Organic Chem and Bio as usual. Should be done around 5. Then I'll probably just head to the library or back to my room to do work or collapse, depending on how much energy I have left.
WorriedWook327: Can I make a request?
ConfusedCutie86: Of course, doesn't mean I'll be able to do it though
WorriedWook327: Can you try to stay in your room? I want to be able to
call you just as I get settled in my new place. Going to be weird
adjust to more time difference between us than there already is.
ConfusedCutie86: I can do that. Speaking of time, shouldn't you be
getting some rest so you don't miss your flight?
WorriedWook327: I guess so. I just missed you
ConfusedCutie86: Well get your sleepy patoot into bed and make sure you
think about that time we were together last winter. I'll be right next
to you, fast asleep. Okay? =)
WorriedWook327: Okay...
WorriedWook327: Good night honey, sweet dreams. I'll look for you
tomorrow. *Kisses*
ConfusedCutie86: Night David Bear. Mwah!
* * *
Classes were tough the next day. Technically I was in class attentively listening to my professor drone on endlessly, my mind just had one thing it was paying attention to. More than just my mind, my whole body was aching to be next to David. As I sat in the drafty lecture hall I thought of how warm David was that time he fell asleep on top of me while we were watching a DVD. Or one of those few occassions we actually got some privacy and got to sleep together in the same bed.
Although the duration of those small trips were painfully short the memories of them sustained us until the next time we could manage a rendezvous in our conflicting and distant schedules.
I noticed that my pencil was drawing a little doodle of an airplane with a little picture of David in the window on my class notes. Sighing quietly, I decided to try and pay more attention to what was going on.
After half a minute of this I realized it was futile and continued my doodle.
Four doodles later I followed the crowd out as the class ended. Before I really figured out where my feet were headed I found myself at the steps to my dorm. Sighing, I turned around and got some lunch at the nearby store and headed back to my room.
Even though my last class of the week was over I didn't really feel much like celebrating. David's big move to medical school filled my head with doubt. Would he find someone else that he wanted to be with instead of me? Would he finally give up and want a closer/easier relationship? The familiarity of these doubts did not help dispel them from my mind as I quietly ate in front of my computer.