Family Isn't Blood - Fred's Life

The next couple of days were still busy, but were much more calm. Zophia had her basic questions answered for John. One of the first things I spoke to Zophia about was where she wanted to live when she returned to Chicago. I told her that this week was so new, so fresh, so quick for us. Did we really want to move in together so soon? We took a slew of chances to get here, were we pushing our luck? Should we take more time? I was concerned, we were no longer spring chickens.

This could end in a disaster, a disaster that could be avoided if we just went slower, and lived apart? I spoke about Kaja and the decision we made to not move in together. Yes, that was different. She and I had our own houses, and lives.

"Fryderyk, I hear you. I hear you loud, strong and clear. We did not take this much time to decide to live together the first time. Then we always knew we could move out if needed. We can still move out if needed." She got a look from me, but continued anyway. "I know, I know, we have yet to have our next big blow up like the ones we had before. Those were scary when we were younger. I think that we could handle it better as we have grown."

"Life has given us this second chance, and I have to go with my gut. I want to live with you again. We are not married, our finances are independent, our hearts are together. Two out of three means we can move away from each other if we have to. You are an honorable man Fryderyk. I try to be the most upstanding woman I can be. What ever happens, we will decide together and do what is right." She paused, "What do you think?"

Damn logical woman, just a damn logical wonderful loving honest woman that I love. "Yes, Zophia, you have a strong case. It may be two out of three reasons for an easy split if things don't work out. But that third one, that is the one that will take time. We don't have all the time in the world now. Some jerk caused us to lose 30 years. That jerk didn't want to take you away from your future. He doesn't want to ever be away from you again."

She touched my face, kissed my lips, then said in her so warm accented voice, "We were young then, we were trying to build a future. During this week, I've never told you what else I found out over the years. About 15 years ago, I ran into Larry by accident when I was in town once. We had dinner together with Angleka. That was when he told me I should not be angry with you. He only told me that your parents needed you, and he was in Viet Nam. I was pissed about it, about what you did to us. But I began to see you in a different light. I wanted to still be mad at you. I needed to still be mad at you. That was easier than being hurt. That great life I made had already fallen apart."

"When your daughter latched on to me like a hungry rottweiler, I had already been rethinking major things in my life. When I was considering getting back to Chicago for my parents, my brothers were overjoyed. It was more than just having their sister home, more than having her be around her parents. They saw that I was worn and unhappy. And I had been alone for years."

"Caterina told me this week that she had pressured Marc to let Cathy know where I could be contacted, only after she found out that you were divorced. When your daughter let me know that 30 years ago you wanted a future for me, to go forth professionally in life, to not hold me back, I could no longer deny things. All those people who came to bat for you, and me"

"We have people worrying about us, people who care about us. Your daughter was amazing. She made me feel warm and wanted, and she did not even know me. Larry did tell her about me, but still. After being on the West coast, and with a limited set of friends because I devoted my life to John, it was" and she paused "it was coming home to family. Within hours of seeing you again, I get fixed up with that damn Social Work crowd. And not one of them would take a gift. Could not even get Maria's approval for something for Su Lin."

"Fred, this is home for me. You are home for me. I want to settle down with you. You are important, I know who you really are by what you do. You even keep a clean house. Don't think that I didn't notice. You weren't expecting company, it's always this clean. Isn't it?"

"Zophia, remember, I was raised by an old Polish woman. One of the ways Larry and I used to get her upset was by saying that the house was dirty. Then we'd run out the door. We'd come back home and somehow, the house was even cleaner. The need for clean houses was mechanically forced into my genes." I smiled at her and held her hand.

"Zophia, I feel that you are home, but I also do not make changes quickly. On the other hand, your move to Chicago would be easier if you don't have to find a place to live, or have to live in one of your brother's basements? Well? Sounds like a good idea?"

She started to laugh. "Pulling the money card on me, aren't you. First you're not sure, then you try to scare me with it going to cost me money. Listen Mister-scared-but-just-a-little-bit, I don't want your money. I want us to be together. Got it? Any more questions on that?"

It took over two months for her and John's move to happen. I had time to clear out a bedroom or two, then the basement and the garage for her 'stuff'. The older furniture went into the basement, or at a garage sale. The problem with the garage sale was that when ever one of our extended 'family' looked at something, the price to them went to half off or free. I would not have it any other way. I was able to clear out things that Cathy did not want me to hold for her. She got first dibs on everything. I was able to clear out the things that should have been gotten rid of years ago, but I never did.

About a week after Zophia returned to California, I got a call from Roze, Tom's wife. She started the call saying 'labas' and by reflex I broke into my laughable phonetic phrase of 'I'm sorry, I don't speak Lithuanian', in Lithuanian. She thought my attempt was funny. After a few pleasantries, she got down to business. It appears that the brothers wanted to give their sister a welcome home present. The brothers came up with all sorts of things that the wives politely did not laugh at. She and Caterina discussed it one evening and came up with an idea. The brothers liked it, so she wanted to run it past me to see what I thought.

"Fryderyk, how would you feel about getting your bathroom gutted?" I let out an involuntary gasp when she quickly added, "and rebuilt in less than a week." There was some stammering starting to come out of me when she broke in again. "First off, this is the kind of thing that they do for a living. They have the tools, materials and the help needed to do it. It is no big shakes for then. They always have a few favors to call in out there if need be. They have a lull in their work load right now, so it is not taking anything away. Second, Zophia made a passing comment about your bathroom being from the late '30's along with a dripping faucet. So what do you think?"

"Roze, I really don't know what to say. Zophia and I are kind of old and kind of new to each other again. What happens if it doesn't work out. I feel that it" Then she cut me off. "Fryderyk, we're not worried about that. Remember, we've seen her over the years. You are the best thing for her. If it does not work out, it will not be because of an antiquated or a rehabbed bath. None of us are worried about that, seriously, you are not going anywhere, she won't be either."

My head has been spinning ever since Zophia came back into my life, and today, she is not here, and my head continues to spin. "Roze, lets just say that you are correct. Now correct me if I am wrong, but I have a feeling that there would be no way I could pay you for this." "That is correct Fred." "But what about materials? I want to pay for all the materials."

She took a couple of seconds to answer, it sounded like she was talking with somebody. "Ok, here's the deal. We will provide you with a listing of all the out of pocket costs." I gave her a quick yes. She continued, "Since you don't have a problem with this, Caterina and I, and if you want Cathy in on the details too, that is ok with us. We will pick out what is used. Is it a deal?"

I really know how to drive a hard bargain. I just felt like the native Americans on Manhattan Island getting such a great deal from the Dutch.

It was suppose to be a secret to Zophia, so everyone kept mum. I was going to camp out at Cathy and Mike's place on the couch, but the news got to Stan and Iwona. I stayed there a week. Cathy kept telling me that it was going to be beautiful. I spent some time at big box home improvement stores to know what it was going to cost me. I figured that you only live once, and Zophia was worth it. It would make our life better.

After a couple of days, I got a call from Marc. They found a little bit of rot and needed a couple more days to finish. Things like this were not unexpected. As that was the only bath in the house, I really did not have a choice. I found out later that they had cleared it with Iwona first.

It was about 11 days after I had left the house, I was allowed to return. The four of them, Marc and Caterina, Tom and Roze along with Cathy showed up for the unveiling. The first thing I noticed was that the door to the kitchen was closed. Good way to not track things into that room, but Cathy said that it was all cleaned up.

I got to the bathroom with my entourage behind me and opened the door. White marble and beautiful green stone for accents on the walls, that continued into the glass door and walled shower. The replaced sink was beautiful, a new toilet. There was a heat lamp and an exhaust fan that never existed before. It was not my bathroom.

My head continued to spin, words could not come out of my mouth. Finally, Roze gave me a single piece of paper. It was the itemized list that totaled $156 with some odd cents. I was about to protest when Cathy came to their rescue. "Dad, remember, they are contractors. They get things that others no longer want, or get very cheaply. They had most of this laying around their shop. They did not lie to you. This is their honest out of pocket cost. And part of that was for a large can of coffee from Costco. Why don't you sit down in the kitchen for a minute?"

I shuffled to the kitchen door, and then disbelief number two hit me. It was not my kitchen. It was somebody's else kitchen that just happened to be in my house. Cathy walked behind me and started to show me the new cabinets, the special drawers, everything. "Don't worry about this Dad. This one was a gift from Mike and me and Zophia directly, along with Tom and Marc's labor. It is a good solid kitchen, not as expensive as you think. It's an Ikea kitchen, but it has more space, a better flow and updated for living in now. It is a gift. You can't give it back." Then she hugged me and I started to cry. I did not ask for any of this, I have lived within my means, I have made do with what came my way. Now I have a kitchen and a bathroom out of a magazine, because people care about me and my love.

That is when Roze and Caterina came and gave me a hug.

When Zophia came with John, his father Bob, and Bob's wife Carol came too. It was much less traumatic for John to have these familiar people all around him for the first week. John made the transition with only one breakdown. His mother only had two, but her safety net was there. She came back stronger than before. It was going to be ok.

I got to spend time with Bob and Carol. We all went out to a simple diner a couple of times at the end of each day at the facility. It was just the easiest thing to do, and the three of them were pretty exhausted, mentally and physically, by then. I would join them after work. Sometimes her brothers or their wives would join us too.

On the day before they were to return home, Bob wanted the four of us to go out for a quiet dinner. Something longer and more intimate than a diner, something where we could process it all and wrap things up a little bit. He made reservations at a nice Italian place on the lake front.

I got to watch the three of them interact the past couple of days, and I was pleasantly surprised. They were focused on doing the right thing for John. There really were no disagreements, only options that were batted about. I know that in a big way, it has been over 20 years of hell for them. They were good to one another, they supported one another. I saw that it was hard for Bob, and to a lesser degree, Carol, to let him come here. Zophia and I had offered our house to them if they ever visited. It is important to not have to be alone after seeing John. There were always feelings that came up that needed an ear to listen.

For the first couple of weeks, Zophia would stop by to see John while coming home from work for an hour or so. He was still getting used to the new place, and her visits helped. During one of those times, She saw Su Lin was there. They sat down and talked a bit. Su said that she was just checking up on him, making sure everything was ok. There were not any unexpected problems, just the normal expected ones. That made Zophia feel better.

After John was finally settled, it turned out that Zophia's moving was a non-event. We quickly became an old married couple in maney ways except one. In bed at times we were still a couple of kids.

It was about a year after she moved in when Zophia told me that we were going to have Cathy, Mike and the kids over for dinner on Saturday evening. Not unusual as sometimes the four of us would play cards for fun while the grandchildren would sleep in the spare bedroom.

Ever since I was confronted with Rita cheating on me, I have made it a point of being more aware of things. Not out of paranoia, but just because. It is still easy to pull the wool over my eyes, and I do trust Zophia. But just the same, I've started to pay attention to details. It was 20 minutes before Cathy and Mike were to arrive, I noticed that another plate was set at the table. No one said anything about another guest, so I asked Zophia about it. She said that Cathy was inviting a friend along and that she told her it was ok. Now could I get the wine from the basement?

Only ten minutes later, Cathy and Mike show up with the kids. Following them was Kaja! I'm a little flustered, but Zophia rushes past me, gives her a hug like they are old friends and grabs her coat. Cathy just looks at me. "Well Dad, are you going to say hello to her?"

"Fred, how are you doing? It is so nice to see you again. Your grandchildren are just lovely." I finally get my wits again and give her a hug, then I look at Cathy. "The very least my dear daughter, you could have told me we were having a guest today."

That was Kaja spoke up. "Fred, Cathy didn't invite me, it was Zophia." I shot a glance towards Zophia, and she was chuckling. Kaja continued, "I am in town for a couple more days finishing up paperwork, selling my house to my son. I'm now permanently in Florida. I called to see how you were doing. Zophia answered and after some arm twisting, got me to come to dinner with you all. Come on and sit down. I've got my brag book of my grandchildren to show all of you."

Cathy got Kaja a glass of wine and put another in my hand while Zophia sat on the other side of Kaja. The three of us started to look at the pictures and hear the details on the two sets of twin boys. What a total handful, four boys. Cathy finished what was left to do in the kitchen while Mike played with the children.

After being a bit flustered, it was nice to see Kaja, especially with Zophia being supportive of it. I did not feel anything awkward, and I did not see anything awkward with those two either. Dinner was great and the conversation and the wine flowed freely. Dinner was over for a while, and it was starting to get late for the children. Cathy and Mike said their good byes.

The three of us moved to the living room. I brought out the bottles of cognac and krupnic and a couple of glasses. We must have talked for over an hour, although it seemed to only be 10 minutes.

The conversation drifted off to Christmas. Kaja was talking about how it is so different in Florida. That was when Zophia brought up the Christmas that Kaja and I hosted here. Zophia said, "When Fryderyk showed me the pictures of that Christmas, I knew that you were part of this big family. I found out that no matter how hard you try, even 30 years for me, you can never resign from this family. So when you called, I had to make sure that you would come. Fred, did you know that I had to promise that Cathy would be here too?"

That was when Kaja answered. "Well, I felt a bit funny calling this house, knowing that you were a couple. Fred and I were together for a couple of months, and those were good months. We were very comfortable with one another, but we sill kept separate lives. We were not lonely, but we both knew that we were not in love, and that was ok for both of us. No stress, no tension."

"Calling here, I did not want to make you think that I had any other motives except just to say hello. Thank you for inviting me in. Lots of happy memories here." That was when she looked far away and smiled, and took another sip. I leaned over and refilled her glass.

Zophia spoke, "Well I just had to see who made Fred so happy those months. I must confess, there was another reason. As we have gotten along so well. Please don't be offended, but he once told me that you were as wild with him as I am." At that Kaja turned beet red.

I didn't know to laugh, or be shocked until Kaja busted out laughing. "If I'm that wild, then you've really got to be." and then Zophia busted out laughing too. When she recovered enough to talk she looked at me, "I think I'm gonna keep 'em." And they both busted out laughing. I was kind of shocked and kind of pleased.

I took another sip, a much bigger sip from my glass to give me something to do while those two just kept talking about what either of them had done with me. I was getting more embarrassed and turned on at the same time.

I know both of these women, intimately. Never thought that they would ever be in the same room, and be open about me with each other. I soon realized that I needed some more ice and needed to hit the bathroom, and a couple of minutes to think about what was possibly unfolding under my eyes.

When I came back, they were quieter, and were looking at me differently. Zophia asked me to go to the basement and get that spumante that I like so well. She asked me to pull out the flutes and serve it to us all. I like that bubbly Italian wine, it is just sweet enough, and dry enough for after dinner. Ascending the stairs, I overheard something from Kara that was muffled, and they both were laughing. Our glass recycling this week was going to look like Christmas day after a party.

I went into the kitchen to open the wine and fill the flutes. I was about to come out when Zophia asked that I first bring the tray of cheeses and meats that she had forgotten to bring out before dinner. More food and wine? No problem, but it took me two trips. Each time, the two women were giggling and laughing, and glanced at me differently. I wondered where this was going to lead. At the least, Zophia and I were going to have a great time later tonight, I could see the sexual tension in her body language.

When I finally got back to the living room, Zophia patted the seat on the couch next to her for me to sit down. Kaja was in the chair to my right with the coffee table holding all the goodies. They kept talking and I would join in every once in a while.

Zophia asked Kaja how the social life was going in Florida. "Not so good. In fact, it is non-existent. One thing, the two sets of twins keep me and my daughter totally occupied. I'm able to give the parents an official date night each week where I yell at them if they stay home. I remember those days, they need time with only one another."