Faded Denim Dreams

The story is written in British English and is set in Sheffield (Northern England), a post industrial City once known as 'Steel City'.

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Leo squinted against the blinding sun as he stepped off the curb and onto the bus. It was a a real scorcher by the standards of Sheffield. The bus offered a welcome reprieve from the sun, although the bus didn't really help with the sticky, sweat-soaked faded denim that clung to his legs. "Fare, love?" the bus driver called out in his strong Steel City dialect where the word "Love" was nothing more than saying "Buddy". Leo dug into his pocket, fishing out a handful of low value change. The coins rattled into the metal slot and Leo took a step back, letting the stale air coming from a fan fixed above the driver brush against his face.

The double-decker bus trundled along Barnsley Road and it was packed, a sea of bodies crammed into narrow seats with people standing all the way. The air carried the faint hint of sweat and hot diesel fumes, the kind of diesel that clung to the back of your throat and made you swallow hard. The engine roared to life and the bus lurched forward, sending a shudder down Leo's spine. He clung onto the nearest grab-pole, trying to keep his balance as the vehicle made its way through traffic. The shop where he worked, a tiny hole-in-the-wall grotto selling faded denim jeans, was in the heart of the City centre. Although the bus route made for a slow, tortuous journey, it was the only way Leo could afford to get there.

Leo told people that he had an apartment at the back of the Northern General Hospital, although his 'apartment' amounted to no more than a corner of a room at the rear of a terraced house where he sofa-surfed. Leo was always very vague about the address, after all he didn't want anyone visiting him. The house was really owned by a man he knew only as "Len," easily twice Leo's age, with a thick beard and a beer belly that hung over his frayed boxers. Leo remembered the rules that allowed him to use the sofa in "Len's" apartment.

As long as Leo did his job, "Len" didn't bother him. The rules were laid out for Leo the moment he'd stepped into the place. Leo had to slip off his faded denim jeans and perform sex acts with the strangers who came through the front door and in return he could stay. Leo rationalised it to himself by saying that it was a simple exchange, a means to an end and nothing more. A furtive ring of the doorbell and Leo would run down the steep stairs and pull open the front door, a forced smile plastered all over his face, ready to greet the first stranger of the night. Yeah, "Len" collected the freebies owed to him by Leo but that was another story.

The bus crawled along the crowded street and rush hour traffic down the hill and into the City, providing a welcome release from what Leo ironically called his 'homelife'. Leo's eyes kept drifting to the front of the bus. A blond guy, probably in his early twenties got on the bus. The stranger was tall and lean, with a coolness that seemed to radiate from every pore. He wore a simple white t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans that hugged him just right. The guy looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine, not on this clapped out bus in a regional city. The stranger's gaze met Leo's and for a brief moment, the world around Leo and his imperfect homelife faded away. For that instant, Leo forgot the tricks he'd been turning to rent the sofa and in his imagination Leo could imagine a romantic night with the super cool stranger. Then, the bus lurched to a stop and the spell was broken.

Leo realised he'd been caught staring. He quickly averted his gaze and pretended to be absorbed in the scenery passing by. The city was alive with movement and the sounds of refuse trucks, car horns and the occasional distant shout. The windows were open, letting in a gentle breeze that did little to alleviate the stifling heat. As the bus approached the center of the city, the buildings grew taller, casting shadows over the pavements below. The blond stranger was still there, leaning against the grab-pole near the driver, looking unfazed by the movement of people around him.

Leo's thoughts swirled. He felt a strong attraction to the stranger, seasoned by a fear that the man would see through him and somehow sense what Leo did to make his way in Steel City. Leo drank from the rich cocktail of emotions that were all too familiar. His heart raced and his palms grew damp. He'd done things he wasn't proud of to keep his place. He'd done things that left him feeling used, small and dirty. This stranger, he was different, he looked clean, cool and unattainable. The stranger was the sort of man who could afford to use Aramis fragrance products every day. Leo piled all his romantic ambitions on a stranger. There was a spark of something in those piercing blue eyes that made Leo feel seen and, for once, not judged.

The bus pulled to a halt at a red light and the blond stranger turned to look at Leo again. This time, the guy offered a smile, a genuine one that made Leo's stomach flip. It was a small gesture but it felt like the universe had just handed Leo a gift-wrapped chance. Leo returned the smile, feeling a glimmer of hope in the pit of his stomach.

Just as quickly as it arrived, the moment was gone. The traffic light turned green and the bus jolted forward. The blond stranger now pushed himself past other passengers who were 'strap hanging' like they did on trains and he made his way down the aisle, his eyes never leaving Leo. The air between Leo and the demi-God cracked with unspoken emotion. The bus stopped once more. The cool stranger reached his stop. Without even a nod to Leo, the stranger turned quickly, sliding effortlessly down a few steps and disappeared into the throng of people waiting on the pavement and filling the street.

Leo felt a strange mix of disappointment that the stranger had got off the bus without saying anything and relief that he hadn't been required to explain his 'homelife' with all that entailed. The bus pulled away from the stop and Leo took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. Leo had a part-time job selling faded denims, a life to live and secrets to keep. For one fleeting moment, he'd allowed himself to dream of something more. Something where he couldn't disappoint anyone.

The rest of the journey into the City was reflected in the faces of unknown people, of clothing marked under the arms by sweat and the indifferent architecture of Steel City. As Leo stepped off the bus in the centre of the City, he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret for the stranger he would never know. Leo stood still for a few moments and watched the bus pull away, before it was quickly swallowed by rush hour traffic. The blond guy was long gone by now, swallowed by the anonymity of the city, leaving behind nothing but a wisp of hope and a lingering question: What if?