Jay slumped into the vacuum of his bed the minute he was through the door. His substantial, dimly-lit bedroom was in this moment gently buzzing with the latest trending music. No one heard the audibly drawn sigh that issued from him as he relived the day's events;
what had his life come to?
Repetitive technical work, ineffective leadership, emotionally unintelligent colleagues... this was not the life he had visualized at 28.
He reminisced back to the simpler days when he could afford dedicating hours at a time to things he
actually
loved: creating enchanting, transcendent music, entertaining local crowds at dingy comedy bars and learning new languages as he travelled through exotic cultures... all seemed distant pipe dreams now.
His phone chimed as it came to life; it was a calendar notification:
7:00 PM - Get baking utensils
Memory descended upon him and this time Jay cursed under his breath; his sisters had questioned his culinary skill which triggered his otherwise calm and dormant ego, leading him to make vehement promises involving the baking of a spectacular cake. But he was missing the necessary equipment (hence the reminder) and what with the back-to-back meetings, the looming deadlines and Joseph's tantrums, he had lost all awareness of dropping by the stores later that evening. But resolute minds prevailed, and with supreme exertion of will, Jay was able to hoist himself out of the warm coziness of his bed and into the dark depths of his cluttered wardrobe.
**********
"Excuse me, would you know where I can find the... the... the thingy which you put a cake on, and it makes it easier to dress the cake?"
A cold stare. Then: "Did you mean a cake stand?"
"Yes! A cake stand, that's what I need."
The store attendant ushered Jay into the back of the store. The mall wasn't busy for a Thursday evening; the Toronto Leafs were taking on the Montreal Habs in the next chapter of a decades-old rivalry. As someone who grew up with soccer, to Jay hockey was blasphemy. With soccer one uses strength, agility and technique to cleverly out-maneuver normal-sized human beings, and navigate a ball you can actually see across a 100 yard pitch, until you launch it finally, marvelously, gloriously into the back of the net. In hockey you do the same but with unusually long, phallic sticks, wearing ice skates, in ball-numbing cold, hitting a puck visible only after a goal has been scored. He would never get on board.
The attendant abandoned him at the threshold of the daunting aisle, and now Jay stood still and stared; rows upon rows of shelves teeming with images of a variety of cake stands.
How does one even decide?!
On a normal day he would remain calm and composed, but this had not been a normal day. He felt an overpowering need to express himself physically, so he threw up his hands in exasperation and blurted out: "Why couldn't there be just
one
cake stand?!"
From behind him came the answer: "If there were just one cake stand then how would you choose between one-tier and two-tier cakes?"