Mother
Tell your children not to hold my hand
Tell your children not to understand
Oh mother
Father
Do you wanna bang heads with me
Do you wanna feel everything
Oh father
Not about to see your light
And if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it's like
Till your bleeding
-Danzig "Mother"
Everyone believes that fear comes in the night. That midnight is the time to be afraid.
It isn't; fear comes in the dark hours of the morning. The day begins as inevitable as the progression of a disease.
This is the time to be afraid.
Miranda was afraid. For the first time she could remember; mortal fear and dread settled into her body like cancer.
What are we going to do? What happens
tomorrow
?
She looked over at the clock; it read 2:15 in the morning.
Today.
She mentally corrected. A spasm of anguish wracked her body causing her to shudder.
Oh Grey, what have you done?
She heard Sam whispering quietly in the dark and she strained to hear.
Her movement caught the other girl's attention and she felt Sam's hand grip her own; it was slick with cold sweat but still firm. "Miri..." It was a sound between a whisper and a sigh.
"Sam," Miranda breathed, "What are we going to do?"
The other girl gave a sharp exhalation of breath, "I was just thinking that," she said without any humor. "Do you want to know what I was doing just now?"
"What?"
"Praying," she looked over at her lover; her profile painted in the digital crimson light of the clock, "do you think that's weird? That a math nerd is praying?"
Miranda gave her hand a squeeze, "No baby, of course not," she smiled a little despite herself, "Your faith is actually one of the things about you I've always envied."
"Really? Why?"
Miranda sighed, trying to put it into words, "Because faith isn't like science; it doesn't require proof or computations, it simply
is
," she sighed, "I wish I could do that. Be that brave, to believe in something greater than myself."
"You believe in science, in the mechanics of the universe," Sam gave Miri's smaller hand a squeeze, "You believe in the Big Bang, the birth of the cosmos and how it might all play out."
"I don't
believe
, I
know
."
Sam frowned, "What's the difference?"
"Faith."
Sam thought upon that and then, astonishingly, began to chuckle quietly.
"What?" Miri asked
"Leave it to us, in our deepest, most despairing moment, to somehow go from supportive pillow talk to ridiculously over-intellectualized debate in less than a minute."
The other girl smiled a little at that. "There is one thing," she murmured, "One thing that I can claim both knowledge and belief."
"What's that, sweetie?"
"You. Us," Miranda turned her head to face her lover, "Whatever happens today, I want you to know how proud I am of you. And no matter what they try to take from us, they cannot take away the fact that I am insanely in love with you and I am going to be marrying you as soon as I can make it happen." Miranda moved to her lover's side, and propping herself up on her elbow, she bent low and kissed her softly on the mouth.
"They will never take that away from me."
Sam's eyes were shimmering as she took Miranda's head in both her hands and kissed her fiercely.
"I love you so much!" the blonde girl hissed fervently.
"I know."
Miranda settled back down, resting her head on the other girl's shoulder.
A beat, and then,
"There is still one, other factor," Sam said sounding dreadful.
"Don't say it," Miranda begged, squeezing her hand tightly.
"Grey. What are we going to do about Grey?"
Miranda barked a humorless laugh, "The last time he felt provoked, he castrated someone with a piece of glass," Miranda covered her eyes with her free hand, "And from what I hear of it, he was in perfect control the whole time."
"I'd say he's not in control anymore," Sam repressed a shudder of revulsion at the memory of Grey's face, rugged and cold one moment, exploding into a convulsing mass of violence and madness.
Sam turned her head to look down at Miranda; the other girl lifted her head to meet her gaze,
"When we told him what...what those people are going to do to us," the girl shook her head, "I've never seen anything like it and I sure as shit hope to never see it again. Screw the Hillsgroves, I'm worried about what he's going to do," she exhaled hard, "That family, the worse they can do to us is fire us, cost us tenure, make sure we never work in our fields ever again. But if they provoke Grey," she exhaled hard, "Oh, man. It's possible that not everyone is going to be leaving that room upright."
"Do you really think he'd go that far?" Miranda whispered, stunned at the idea.
"For us, yeah I do. Especially you, Miri," she kissed the top of her head, "He's as fascinated with you, as you are with him."
"What do you mean? He seems to like you more than me; me he just laces into whenever the mood strikes him."
"He likes me," Sam admitted. "I think. At least as much as he can 'like' anyone, especially a woman, or had you not noticed that all his so-called 'friends' are of the male persuasion?
"It had not escaped my notice."
"But you, wow, I've seen the way he looks at you;" Sam struggled for the words, "He...longs for you, burns for you, no pun intended."
"What are you talking about?" Miranda demanded.
"I can't describe it, he looks at youβ" suddenly, Sam closed her eyes and sighed as understanding came to her.
"Looks at me...like you do," Miranda finished.
"Yeah," Sam whispered, "Miranda, I think he loves you. Or what passes for 'love' in whatever wreckage of a heart and mind he still possesses."
"Love me?" Miranda whispered in shock; reality quickly slipping away from her grasp, "Grey...loves me?"
"I think so, yeah," Sam said quietly, kissing the top of the other girl's head, "Are you okay with that?"
"I don't know," Miri swallowed, "It's...impossible."
"Why?"
"Because love requires trust, commitment..."
"Sometimes lunatic passion and animal attraction can blow all of that to Hell," Sam took a deep breath, "Do you love him?"
"No."
"Do you want to?"