Dream For Kim

Rutwik looks away from the TV screen. It is blank anyways. Ritwik knowing fully well that it is not true. He is disgusted. At himself because he has still not moved on. He is disgusted. At life because it is so unfair. At Brinda. Because she asked the question at such a time. At the sofa because this is where they hugged for the first time. He is disgusted. At the room. Because it reminds him of her.

He goes out for fresh air. But Brinda is walking with him. Smiling her smile. Walking her walk. Being... well, being her. And that is enough. It always was.

Rutwik walks past the intersection where they had lied down on the road, to recreate a famous movie scene. Rutwik doesn't remember it now. He might, if he focuses.

But he doesn't want to. What is the point? Whom will he tell it to, even if he remembers? He instead remembers the warm asphalt of the road when they had lied down. The honking of the car, them rushing away holding hands. Giggling like teenagers. Him looking at her and finding her laughing. Hands on her waist. The all singing, all dancing crap of the world. Somehow, lying on the road with her never seemed a bad idea. Anything that could make her laugh like this can never be a bad idea.

Rutwik walks past the bar where they had danced during their farewell. He had purchased alcohol for both of them. But she didn't want to drink. I want my time with you, free from any intoxications - Brinda told him. It was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to him. They danced, recreating a scene from another movie. Her favorite Tarantino movie.

Rutwik walked past the bus stop where they had shared a headphone to listen to "Fir se aiyo badra bidesi". They both loved R D Burman and Gulzar saab. She had kept her head on Rutwik's shoulder as they travelled through the city on the last bus of the schedule. Somehow they were not worried about time. All I have is time - she used to say. He believed her. They sat together in the bus, just listening to the song, on repeat.

Rutwik took the cab. The same cab that they took when they met for the last time. Rutwik was going away for higher studies. She was going away on posting. But she was not sad. It started raining when they were inside. She got up from the skylight and enjoyed the rain. Rutwik had lovingly called her Varsha, as she never missed a chance to enjoy the rain. She did it that day. Rutwik, the dragon, could only admire her for this.

It was nearing dawn now. It was raining but Dragon was not bothered. He was still walking with Varsha by his side. He went up to the building, where he met Varsha for the last time before his flight that evening. Varsha was supposed to leave town one day after Rutwik left.

They did not speak anything. What was there to speak anyways? They had got very close to each other very soon, but both were at such a point in their lives that moving on was the only option. At least, in the mind of Dragon. Varsha tried her best though. To placate him, to let him know that she will wait for as long as it takes. But Rutwik never considered himself worthy of her love, maybe that's why he insisted her to move on. Like a hot headed dragon.

He wanted to be friend though. In fact, that is how it all started and ended. With the same word.

"Friends?"

First time it was organic. A natural extension of the late night talks, similar interests, similar philosophy. Rutwik insisted that they will stay in touch, via calls, video calls. But Varsha was not sentimental. She knew, relationships do not work that way. She was just looking at him and then at the view. This time Dragon hoped that 'Friends' will be enough to stop them from falling out of each other's lives. It wasn't enough. 3 months after that day Varsha got married, on the day of her birthday. Dragon did call, to wish her happy birthday (he later came to know from a common friend that she got married on the day of her birthday), but she did not pick it up. When she got married, Dragon changed. A lot. He is no longer the man that she once considered worthy of liking. But so what? Isn't it?

After coming back to India, Dragon was visiting those places that they visited together and thus he was standing on this terrace right now. Dragon remembered it all now. The walks, the movies, the stories, the conversations, the museums, the songs, her head on his shoulder, their dance, her smile, her SMILE, her... just HER.

He wanted to hug it all.

As tightly as he could.

He sat down. Wanting, to cry.

Let's leave him alone from here.