"Once when you were mine..."
I was jolted from a pleasant memory when I heard the salty old man say, "Well, boy, I suppose I was wrong about you, and I'm man enough to admit it."
He set a bourbon on the table before me and invited himself to join me.
"Sir, you weren't wrong at all," I told the father of the only woman I ever loved. "I just grew up."
He smiled and said, "The Corps will do that to a young buck--whether he likes it or not."
He tossed back his whiskey which only made the gristle in his voice more prominent. He was already a gruff Clint Eastwood wanna-be old man, who wore the same high and tight haircut as he did when he was a Marine. In his retirement years, his entire demeanor screamed, 'get off my lawn.'
"Have you spoken to her yet?" He asked softly. Barely audible over the DJ's music blaring.
"No, sir. I wasn't sure if I should. It's been so long."
He chuckled.
"Son, I highly suggest you do before Bev realizes you're here and didn't."
We were at the wedding of my cousin's son and Bev's cousin's daughter. It was pure coincidence that they met and fell in love--I had no idea who Mark was marrying until my aunt begged me to attend if I could get away.
Little Mark, it seemed, idolized me for some god-forsaken reason. I suspect it was due to his mother, my cousin Belle, regaling him with embellished stories of my worldly travels as a Marine.
Once more, I looked out at the dance floor and saw Bev dancing with a young child. She had a few more miles in her eyes than she had when I last saw her twenty-five years before, yet she was as beautiful as ever.
He put his hand on my shoulder, as a father would to his son, and said, "Talk to her, Ash. She still talks about you, and if I could speak freely, Colonel, she hated me for a long time for splitting you two up."
His use of my rank shook me, but I defended him, "You were only looking out for her, Sir," and he was. I wasn't a good kid.
But the truth of the matter was, I hated him for it as much as I came to respect him for it. I only joined the Marines to show him he was wrong about me.
Looking back, I knew he wasn't. If I were her father, I wouldn't have let me date her either.
*****
When I was barely eighteen, I met Beverly Carter at our town's little ice cream parlor.
I thought I was a bad ass rock star with my long hair, leather jacket, black skinny jeans, and Doc Martin's.
I never met her at school because I'd already dropped out.
The first time I saw her eyes I was a goner. They oozed happiness and love, and compared to my dark edges, she was all the light in the heavens.
"Hey, babe," I said with all the false bravado I could muster. "Wanna take a ride on my Harley?"
I only had a Harley because I'd stolen it from some accountant who didn't deserve it. I never did get caught for that.
She looked up, smiled brightly, and said, "Okay."
After that, we were inseparable.
For six months, we lived wildly, loved passionately, and it all crashed down with one lapse of concentration.
*****
I stood up from the table as the bride and groom came around.
"We're so glad you made it, Uncle Ash," Marky said as we hugged.
"I'm glad as well, kiddo. It's a great party and was a beautiful ceremony."
He introduced me to his bride, and we exchanged small talk before they were dragged away for a picture.
Before I sat, I saw Bev looking at me from ten long feet away. The child holding a plate from the sweets table was antsy to sit anywhere to eat her treats and eyed the chair next to me.
I smiled and pulled it out for the young lass, and she bolted for it like it was going to disappear.
"Ellie..." Bev called out much too late.
I pushed the chair in as Ellie bit into the first brownie.
"Please, Bev. Join us," I said with a bit of frog in my throat.
"Is that really you, Ash?" She asked nervously.
"In the flesh. Please," I said as I held the chair next to the child for her.
"I can't believe you're here," she said as she sat in the proffered chair.
"You're as beautiful as the last time I saw you," I managed to say as I sat in the empty chair beside her.
I hoped my cousin Andy and his wife stayed on the dance floor so I could have her company for a few lifetimes. I would have preferred them not to want their seats back.
She smiled and shrugged, "Stop joking. I got old."
I laughed and countered, "You're younger than me, Bev, and I'm not old yet."
Ellie giggled and said, "Grammy says she's not getting old, just older."
"I like the way your Grammy thinks, little lady."
Bev looked at her and I saw pride in her expressive, yet tired eyes.
"I'm her Grammy, Ash."
"Oh?" I asked, stunned.
She nodded.
"I'm five and a half," Ellie said as if she heard my unasked question.
"And you're absolutely adorable," I answered, as I picked up a bottle of wine. "May I?"
Bev nodded and accepted when I handed her a glass of the surprisingly good red.
"So," I stuttered, "how are you?"
Bev frowned almost imperceptibly and said, "Living." If I hadn't known her so well, she'd have gotten away with her attempt to hide the emotion behind that word.
She looked at Ellie, who took a messy bite of a mini eclair, and wiped her cheek.
"I'd ask about you, but you've become a legend around here," she said without looking at me.
"God, I hope not," I groaned.
"Oh, please. My father almost had a stroke when you were awarded the Medal of Honor."
She smiled and continued, "He spent days trying to find out all he could about your career after that. I almost thought he felt bad about... well, you know."
"Kicking my ass and telling me to never see you again?"
"Yeah, that," she said.
*****
After I woke up in the hospital, all I could think about was Bev. How she wasn't hurt more than scrapes and bruises, I'll never understand.
A stupid dog darting in front of us while we were out for a ride, and my not seeing him until it was too late, almost killed us. Bev was lucky.
After I was released from the hospital, I didn't see the man as I walked up to my shack of a home. I was on the ground with him screaming at me in seconds. Every time I tried to stand he kicked me.
"If you ever speak to my daughter again, they'll never find your punk ass body!" He yelled. "You hear me, scum bag?"
I slithered away, begging for him to stop kicking me.
"She deserves better than a dropout loser jackass like you!"
He spat at me and walked away.
I sat on the dead grass and cried.
*****
"Can I have some juice, Grammy?"
Ellie's voice brought me out of my memory as Bev excused herself to get the juice.
"Is your mommy here?" I asked the child.
She shook her head making her curls bounce wildly.
"My mommy's an angel in heaven."
"Oh," I mumbled.
I looked around but for what I didn't know, and thankfully, Bev returned.
"Be careful not to spill on your pretty dress," she warned as Ellie drank the orange juice.
"How long are you in town for?" Bev asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence.
"Just the weekend, but my retirement is final next month. I thought I might move back here."
