[Vocabulary notes: In a moment of passion, Dafna babbles "sin fin ain sof." Sin fin is Spanish for without end. Ain sof means the same thing in Hebrew.
Maccabee in Hebrew means hammer. The Maccabee brothers threw the pagans out of the temple in Jerusalem and gave rise to the holiday of Hannukah.
Meshugah means crazy in Hebrew.
Dormir is "to sleep" in Spanish.]
-----
On Thursday, Dafna woke up feeling troubled. Her online sweetheart Dan had arrived in Mexico City, and, thank goodness, had adjusted to the altitude and the ratty air. Wednesday, after he landed, they had some brief contacts, an email he sent at mid-day when she arrived home from teaching and a phone message while she attended her tai kwon do class at the gym across from her apartment building.
"Hola Dafna," Dan Lissner said into her phone machine. "I am still at the office. The partners are taking me to dinner this evening at a place called Tezka, in the Zona Rosa. Supposed to be great. The presentation coaching is going well. I don't know when I'll be back in my room. I miss you mucho and can't wait to see you. Lilah tov."
She returned at 9 pm. Dafna listened to the message three times. Dan had a wonderful, slightly gravelly voice, but, she thought, a little hesitant. What was the tone? He talked about work so matter-of-factly, then said he missed her. What was that catch in his voice? Did he really mean to say, "I love you"? That would be something to hear! But for the first time to say that, it would not be appropriate to say on a phone answering machine.
Dafna felt vaguely discontent when her sister Leah, in the border town of McAllen, Texas, beeped her on Yahoo IM.
LEAH: Hola big sister how is your evening going?
DAFNA: Not so good. I don't know. Dan is here in MC but we haven't talked as much as I expected. We haven't seen each other.
LEAH: Do you think he's avoiding you? He came a very long way to see you.
DAFNA: He came for work. I happen to be here. Have I done something to scare him away?
LEAH: Silly. You have said he works very hard and the project is important. Let him concentrate on that.
DAFNA: But I want to see him!! We talked online so much before he came. Now's he's always in meetings or dinners. Maybe they found a puta for him.
LEAH: Such insecurities! Very Dafna, very sad. He changed his plane ticket. He has the hotel for the weekend. Is he going back on Friday, after the project ends? Tell me that.
DAFNA: Noooo, he's still leaving on Monday.
LEAH: After he spends the weekend with you. If he was leaving right after the project, OK, I see a problem, but he's not. Don't let your anxiety ruin this. Let the poor man get his work done and then he'll have eyes only for you.
DAFNA: He didn't want me to meet him at the airport. He got sick when we were talking the first night, late dinner last night. Busy again tonight. Not a good pattern.
LEAH: Listen to me. Please. Tomorrow is Friday. The project ends, you get together this time tomorrow and you'll know. You're getting so worked up you'll start turning him off before he even has time to kiss you. Everything will be great.
DAFNA: What if we see each other and he's disappointed?
LEAH: Oh those insecurities! Dafna, dear, listen to me. You are a wonderful, loving woman. I don't know Dan but he has always liked you for who you are. You are both risking a lot by meeting. See what happens. Look to be happy not sad.
DAFNA: Am I going too far?
LEAH: Yes, my sister. Don't go neurotic and drive him away. This sounds like a broken record. If nothing else, you'll get a little vacation at a nice hotel!
DAFNA: True. Everything is good so far. I should see what happens. Not go crazy.
LEAH: And you and Velma are coming here to McAllen over the summer. We can have fun in the sun here. If things work out, perhaps Dan can come with you?
DAFNA: Don't know. Ask in 48 hours. How do you like living in the US?
LEAH: Well, here I don't have to speak English very much, except when I'm dealing with the schools or the shul. There's just a reform temple, no other choices.
DAFNA: In case things don't work out with Dan, any cute guys there.
LEAH: Many, but they are all in high school so that may be a little problem.
DAFNA: Not for me! I'll take them young.
Dafna stared at the computer. Not for me β the phrase had many meanings. What WAS right for her? Her eyes felt moist as she thought of her sister in Texas reading the same line. Leah had the life style she wanted. The adoring husband, the two kids, spacious town house, time for tennis and temple, enough domestic help to have dinner parties and Shabbat dinners (even if the help seemed baffled by the songs and candles. The helpers were girls fresh from Mexico, eager to start a new life in McAllen's worn-down colonias. None of them had ever seen a Jew although they had heard all the priests' lies).
LEAH: Are you OK sis?
DAFNA: You have a wonderful life. What did I do wrong?
LEAH: Sis you have done nothing wrong. Hear me? Nothing. You've traveled, you got your PhD, you control your time, great apartment, you've met a wonderful guy. You think running a household in a new country with two kids is easy? You want to trade places for a while? I won't argue with you!
DAFNA: OK, I'm just anxious. It's like Hanukkah when we were kids. We waited and waited and knew something fun was coming but then we got sick and cranky from the tension.
LEAH: But Hanukkah always came right? Is Dan your Maccabee?
DAFNA: Yes I want his big hard Jewish hammer.
LEAH: I bet you do! That, or a Jewish plumber? Poor baby, your plumbing is clogged.
DAFNA: Not like you married women, sex all the time.
LEAH: Sis, what planet are you living on?
DAFNA: I know. I was just letting my mind wander.
LEAH: Speaking of sex, a little sisterly advice.
DAFNA: Tell me.
LEAH: You DON'T have to have sex like you do online. Well, that's your business but sex can screw up a relationship. What's online is one thing. But when you're together . . . one doesn't mean you do the other.
DAFNA: I've learned that lesson too many times.
LEAH: If you both want that's nice but get to know him. For real. Talk to each other. If it doesn't work in person it's easier to accept that if you haven't slept with him. Are you OK with that? Not my business but still . . .