Without emotion or surprise the national news reported the start of the fourth year of the recession and that unemployment was holding at 12.5%. No one believes that. Many have given up looking or are recent graduates choosing not to start. Even medical care providers have downsized. People with jobs are holding every dollar close because they feel insecure about their employment and financial future.
Untold millions are beyond help from unemployment insurance. Charities are over extended. Churches have quit helping internationally because the need to just feed people here at home is so great. Bars, restaurants, upscale businesses and even strip clubs are barely hanging on. The "Bitches of Craig's List" listings have increased five-fold.
A large part of the population is dealing with survival, feeding their kids and having a place to live. Ethics, values, love, independence and pride are distant memories for many. Newspapers are full of ads that they would not have run five years ago - "Tall thin, 35 year old pretty blonde will be good, attentive temporary wife for room, board and a little spending money. Let's talk." Some ads mentioned kids but that is often left out until a first meeting.
Marriages and divorces are way down. Birthrates are down. Smiles and hope are way down.
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Every couple of weeks for the last year, I have risked spending an hour with an escort to make sure my sixty year old equipment is still in working order. I don't relax and enjoy first time meetings. Initially, I thought it would be nice to be with a lot of different women. My wife died two years ago. We were both virgins when we married and we were true to each other for forty two years. I had it in my head that I was missing something by not experiencing a variety of women but that backfired on me.
Except for my money, the lovelies did not care about me. That quickly became an issue. At my age the drive for release has waned and having a relationship with a good female friend is now more important than sex. For several weeks I toyed with talking to one particular escort about traveling with me and pretending to care. Sara was understanding but frank and logical,
"Jim, I've been an escort for a long time. I have regulars and make good money. I do this for the money. I have a boyfriend who is my age and accepts what I do. I would lose my business and my boyfriend, if I spent a year with you. Besides, I would care for you and it wouldn't be a business deal any more. You are a wonderful man. Lots of women are hurting right now, why don't you advertise for a year-long companion?"
Why couldn't I figure this out on my own?
"Fit, active, polished and sexy woman, over thirty, wanted as year-long companion to fit and active sixty year old. Be DDF, non-smoker, with varied interests. Very nice living arrangement, board and some income provided. Travel, GFE, active local scene and good home partner expected. Let's meet for lunch, see if we hit it off, discuss a trial period and get started. Be a good actress, lie to me and make me think you care. We'll have lots of fun."
Sara was right; I had a plenty of responses. I was dreading the interview lunches, but the very first one was with an old hippy chick, with dogs, a foster child and lots of baggage. She had taken a long shot. It was obvious within five minutes that this was not a good match for either of us but we enjoyed lunch and talking.
That first failure relaxed me and I just went to enjoy the next few lunches and had low expectations. The women with truly sad stories and very needy situations made me want to help but instead I wished them well and moved along in my search. After three weeks of running the ad and ten luncheons, I was getting tired of the search and about ready to stop looking for a while. I felt like Jack Bailey running the mid 1950s "Queen for a Day" program but I was disappointing all the contestants.
My evening emails held one jewel. A picture of a tall thin fortyish confident well put together woman and a little note, "I am up to 108 ways to build a man's ego; I act appreciative for the smallest considerations and have only three things for him to remember that always satisfy me. I am an inexpensive lunch date, a good cook and an upbeat companion. Let me fetch you a beer and then let's talk the night away."
We swapped a couple more emails and settled on a date at a "Sweet Tomatoes" half way between us. Her story went -- college educated, never worked a regular job, lots of volunteering, lots of interests, married for fifteen years, no-kids, ran household and entertained for big wheel husband until he cleaned out all the accounts and split with an eighteen-year old. Still Linda Leigh Linton had a good attitude - as she put it, "no food, bad credit, no job, no experience, good attitude."
Lunch with Linda was a fun, light hearted and framed in real honesty.
"How are you going to react when I touch you when we cook and I come on to you wanting some attention later?"
"I honestly do not know. Right now we are like blank pages to each other. I think you will want me to be interested in you and return your desire - not just lay there. We need to spend some time with each other to see if there is a spark to work with."
"Can you travel? Do you like the zoo, museums, art shows?"
"Yes, to all those and gardening, building, decorating and reading."
"If you will let me do a background check on you, I would like for you to see where I live, get to know me and stay for up to a month to decide. I will not force myself on you and we can negotiate a fair payment for your time."
"Jim, I want you to know the truth. I'm about to be evicted from my apartment, my car has been repossessed and my utilities are still on because I have cried and pleaded. I would agree to anything about now."
"Today is Wednesday. I'll pick you up on Friday and we'll have dinner at my house. We'll talk more then."
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Maria has been with me for ten years. I seldom ask her to cook, but she keeps a nice house and runs a tight ship when it comes to the gardeners, repair help, my clothing and household budget. Today, she was putout that I sent her home at noon. I think her husband and four teenagers run her stubby two-hundred pounds around too much. She liked the quiet, comfort of my two-story, 5,000 square foot house with detached garage.
Linda liked my car and the house too. She obviously did not expect so much. Her apartment was a dismal single room with a kitchenette in one corner. She fit into the bright warm spring day. She wore a colorful sundress, matching shoes, radiant smile and every inch of exposed skin looked kissable. Even old guys have a surge of hormones in the spring.
She wanted to look around the house and grounds but I had lunch staged and it was ready quickly. She enjoyed her small salad, chicken breast over rice in cream sauce with green beans. The wine complimented well and went down too easily with the conversation. I was starved for the sound of a pleasant woman's voice. She was smart and slipped in questions about my background and finances.