Boyfriend Test

Bryan fingered the ring in his jacket pocket as he walked up the canyon toward Taughannock Falls. It was early Saturday morning and he was just following a ritual he'd started whenever he had a big decision to make. Whether the question was what college to attend, what girl to ask out, or even if he should buy something new, he always ended up at the foot of the Taughannock Falls to look for an answer.

He really wasn't sure why. He had started doing this when he first visited Cornell on a college visit. He liked the school and the software engineering program, but he was more taken with the natural beauty of the Finger Lakes. The seemingly endless array of waterfall hikes and long fields of vineyards that surrounded each of the lakes seemed to speak to his soul. It wasn't until later when he started on an ancestry project that he discovered his great grandmother was born in this region. When he had found the little town and the cemetery that had 5 generations of his family buried there, it all started to make more sense to him.

Early morning was the best time to visit Taughannock, before the throngs of tourists and children on school field trips would inevitably turn it into a bustling hub of people. Right now, it was only him and the surrounding sounds of nature. The first few wisps of mist washed across his face as he approached the base of the falls. He inhaled the humidity laden air.

"This is a big one, Chief," he said out loud, referencing the fact that the falls may have been named for the Delaware Indian Chief Taughannock. "Should I ask her to marry me?" he said as he reached the edge of the plunge pool.

The water roared as it rushed down the sheer 215 foot drop. It wasn't like he ever really got some sort of definitive answer from the gods of the waterfall. It was more like how he'd feel after a few minutes of reflection. Problem was, he hadn't gotten that feeling either way, and this was his third trip to the falls.

He stared at the patterns in the mist as the breeze played with the droplets. He imagined what it must be like to be one of them. One moment you're traveling with all your friends down the middle of the river and then you're somehow launched into the sky, hoping that the inevitable pull of gravity leads you in the right direction. So many drops were blown off course and landed among the rocks, only to die the slow death of evaporation.

Bryan shook his head, half to pull him out of his dream and half to shake the droplets off his hair. The breeze had shifted and he was directly in the path of the wind driven mist. He didn't take that rebuke as a sign either way. He shifted away from the blowback, still mesmerized by the patterns the droplets would form. After about 10 minutes, the sound of voices from the first wave of tourists broke his trance.

Bryan turned to leave. He just didn't know if he was doing the right thing. Sure, he loved Wendy. They'd been almost inseparable when they met at the beginning of their college sophomore year. She was gorgeous and he originally thought she was way out of his league, but somehow she'd taken an interest in him. Soon they were following each other all over the landscape. Hiking trails to various waterfalls, visiting wineries, and eventually getting more intimate. He felt that they really enjoyed each other's company.

They were starting their senior year. Bryan already had a good job lined up after he graduated. He felt it was soon going to be time to start the rest of his life. He didn't want to lose Wendy. If they both graduated and weren't committed to each other they might just end up drifting out of each other's lives. It was why he was considering such a big step.

He kicked the same rock all the way back down the trail. "I guess the chief just doesn't want to weigh in on this one," he thought to himself. He twiddled the ring in his pocket once more. "I guess I'll just have to do this one myself." He decided that he'd pop the question tonight. He already had a date setup with Wendy at Pasta Vitto, the local Italian restaurant.

--

"I can't believe he'd do that to me!" screamed Joellen as she sobbed into her friend Wendy's shoulder. "He was cheating on me this whole time!"

"I'm sorry Jo," said Wendy as she patted her roommate on the back. "I know it sucks now, but at least you found out before things got too serious!"

"That's easy for you to say," sobbed Joellen. "You've got Bryan! He'd never do that to you!"

"Never say 'Never'," responded Wendy. "Men! They're all pigs! They have two heads but they only ever think with one of them!"

Joellen smiled a bit through the tears. The visual Wendy just described had caught her off guard, but she knew that it didn't apply to everybody. "Oh, come on Wendy! You trust Bryan and you know it. He's never given you a reason to doubt him."

"I don't know," responded Wendy. "I mean, I love him and everything, but I don't know how he'd react if things got tough and the opportunity presented itself."

Joellen looked at her disbelievingly. "Well, I guess I learned how Steve would have reacted," she said. "He couldn't wait to get into another woman's panties! I feel like shit!"

"I'm worried about you Jo," said Wendy. "Why don't you come out with Bryan and me tonight."

"I don't want to be a third wheel," said Joellen as she blew her nose in a tissue.

"It's no big deal," said Wendy. "We weren't doing anything special tonight. I'm sure Bryan wouldn't mind."

"OK, I guess," said Joellen. "Beats being stuck in here with nothing but my feelings and a gallon of ice cream."

"Great," said Wendy. "When we see him and explain what's happened, I'm sure he wouldn't mind buying for all of us since he's going to be one of those rich software engineers!"

That got a chuckle out of Joellen. Both her and Wendy were theatre majors at Ithaca College and money was always tight. "I'll pick up the wine," she said. "I know I'll probably be drinking most of it tonight anyway!"

"That's the spirit Jo!" said Wendy as she patted her friend on the back. "Be ready at 7. Bryan will pick us up downstairs."

"Thanks Wendy," said Joellen. "Are you sure Bryan won't mind?"

"I don't care if he does or not," said Wendy as she stood up to leave Joellen's dorm room. "We ladies have to stick together!"

--

Bryan exhaled loudly as he entered the foyer of Wendy's dorm hall. He'd been rehearsing the speech he'd give as he presented her with the ring all day. This was it. He looked around the room. He saw Wendy over on the couches talking with someone he couldn't see. He made a beeline toward his girlfriend. "Hi Wendy!" he called out. "Ready to go?"

Wendy stood up, but didn't run over to Bryan for a hug like she'd usually do. She didn't want to overdo it on the PDAs in front of Joellen. It would be too much like rubbing it in her face. "Hi Bryan! Good News! Joellen's coming to dinner with us!"

"Uh...what?" stammered Bryan.

Joellen stood up and turned to face Bryan. "I hope it's OK Bryan...It's been a bad day," she said as she went to hug him.

"Ummm...I guess...what's wrong?" asked Bryan.

"Joellen just caught Steve with another woman," explained Wendy. "He's been cheating all this time. I told her she should come out with us so she can forget all about him."

"What an idiot," replied Bryan. "I'm sorry Joellen. I hope you're OK."

"She will be!" announced Wendy as she grabbed both their arms and led them out the door.

Both Bryan and Joellen just stared at Wendy as she made her announcement. It was just like her to assume that she could make things better just with her presence. Bryan dropped his head as Wendy grabbed Joellen and led her to Bryan's car.

Both ladies loaded themselves into the back seat before Bryan could object. As he walked around the car to the driver seat he realized he was going to be nothing more than a chauffeur for the evening. It was a far cry from what he had planned. He let out a sigh before opening the driver's side door.

Bryan had plenty of time to consume his food. The girls spent all the time discussing Joellen's current situation and what she should do about it. Both ladies drank more than their fair share of wine. Bryan only had a glass at dinner. He was driving, so he didn't want to drink much, but he was also made to feel he was on the outside looking in on all of this. About all he could do was say "Sorry" whenever he was asked to defend the entire male portion of his species.

By the end of the evening, Joellen was feeling no pain. Bryan picked up the bill himself. He thought that this was possibly the most expensive plate of pasta he'd ever had. After he signed the receipt he quickly realized Joellen needed to be helped out to the car. Bryan put her arm over his back and held her at the hip as he made his way to the car.

Joellen moaned and went to kiss his ear. Bryan turned red as he realized that Wendy had seen Joellen's maneuver. "You'll be OK," he said as he placed her in his car.

"She's really drunk, Wendy," said Bryan as he opened the door for his girlfriend.

"I can see that," replied Wendy. Watching Joellen try to kiss Bryan unsettled her at first, but then it started to trigger an idea. "Just help her to her dorm room when we get back."

After Joellen was loaded into the car, Wendy slipped into the back seat with her. She needed to keep an eye on her friend.

The ride home was nearly silent. Bryan checked his rear view mirror a couple of times to try to catch Wendy's glance, but nothing ever came of it. He sighed. So much for his big evening. He had thought he'd propose, she would accept, and then they'd spend the rest of the evening 'celebrating' in his bed. Instead the mood was lost. He'd be lucky to get a peck on the cheek.

By the time they reached Wendy and Joellen's dorm, Joellen was able to walk. Wendy helped her out of the car and put her arm around Joellen to steady her. "I'll take it from here," stated Wendy. "Goodnight, Bryan."

"Uh...Goodnight," stammered Bryan. He was right. Not even a kiss. Well, at least not a kiss from Wendy.

Bryan made his way to his car after watching the two women disappear from view. He shook his head as he got behind the wheel. "Best-laid plans..." Bryan mumbled to himself. He pulled out of the restaurant parking lot.

"Guess I'll just have to wait until the dust settles," Bryan told himself. He had no idea when he could set up another date worthy of popping the question. He also wanted to be sensitive to Joellen's feelings. After all, he cared about Jo, probably still more than he'd like to admit.

Bryan's thoughts drifted to when he had his schoolboy crush on Joellen. By eighth grade he had it for her bad, but he never let on. She was so beautiful and he was just a geek. It was made worse when the teachers put them together on the math team to represent the school in the county math olympiad. He had won top individual honors, but the team lost due to Joellen's mistake on a relatively easy question. He knew that she knew the material, she just let the pressure of the competition get to her. When she cried at the awards ceremony all he wanted to do was put his arm around her and hug her, telling her it was alright. He was just too shy to do it.

"If only I had known then what I know now," he thought to himself. When they met up again in college Joellen was no less beautiful. In fact, even more so. It was his grade school friend Lenny who spilled the beans of Bryan's crush on her. When Joellen pressed Bryan on this fact one autumn afternoon, hiking Buttermilk falls, Bryan had to fess up. He thought he could see a tear in her eye when he finally confessed.

It was all for not, however. Time never seemed to allow them to explore their grade school attraction. Whenever one of them was not in a relationship the other one was.

Bryan shook his head, trying to bring himself back into the present day. He was already back at his apartment. He couldn't even remember the drive back. Tonight was a complete bust. He let out another heavy sigh. Once inside he put the ring back into the little box and hid it in the sock drawer. It was the last place he thought the ring would end up tonight.

--

"You want me to do what? You're crazy!" protested Joellen.

"No," responded Wendy. "Hear me out. I know Bryan and I are getting serious. I need to be sure I can trust him. I don't want to end up like you just did!"

"Gee...thanks," Joellen said with a big sigh.

"Sorry Jo," said Wendy, putting her hand on Joellen's shoulder. "I didn't mean it that way. I just need to make sure that Bryan can be trusted."

"So you want me to flirt with him?" asked Joellen with a bit of shock. "That's a monumentally stupid idea! Don't you think he'll see right through it?"

"Hey, we're in theatre, aren't we?" argued Wendy. "If we can't pull this off then we should probably change majors!"

"I still think this is a stupid idea," said Joellen. "All it's going to do is make Bryan mad at both of us."

"Why?" quizzed Wendy. "He never has to know."

"What's in it for me?" asked Joellen. "This is a lose-lose situation for me. I don't want to do it."

"Maybe I can make it worth your while," hinted Wendy. "You know I'm producing the next play. I still have to decide on a female lead. Think of this as your audition. If you do this for me then I'll make sure you get the part."

Joellen paused. She hadn't been a lead in any of the plays so far and knew she'd need the experience to even try to get parts once they were out of college. Maybe she could do this. But it was Bryan. The last thing she'd want to do is hurt him. Then again, she had to admit to herself that this might be her last chance to get close to Bryan herself. She had always wanted to try to have a relationship with him since she'd found out about his crush. Now might be her last chance, and here was his own girlfriend, offering him up on a silver platter.

Joellen shook her head. How could she even consider this conspiracy? "I don't know," protested Joellen. "I still don't think this is a good idea."

"Look," said Wendy. "It will just be for a couple of weeks. We'll start slow and just see where it goes."

"And how do you suppose we get Bryan and I together?" asked Joellen. "It's not like I can ask him out on a date."

"Hmmmm," Wendy said as she tried to sort out the problem. "I know! We have some standing dates we usually do. You can show up and I can cancel on him. It will give you a chance to work your magic on him!"

"Right...my magic," said Joellen with a frown. "Somehow I think 'my magic' is only going to fall flat."

"Well," proposed Wendy. "If it does then I guess Bryan will have proved himself. Will you do it?"

Joellen paused again. She still felt that this was a stupid idea, but it was now looking like a win-win for her. She'd either end up with a lead part, or with Bryan. Hell, maybe even both if Wendy was grateful enough. She'd just have to make sure she didn't end up hurting Bryan in the long run. Still, she had trepidations.

"Maybe," answered Joellen. "But you have to promise me. No retaliation if Bryan falters and goes after me. I can't have you deciding this is all my fault if things go wrong."

"Deal!" shouted Wendy. "Don't worry, I won't blame you. You'd be doing me a favor. He if cheats then you can have him. I'll be done with him."

"OK," answered Joellen tentatively. "I guess I'll do this. What are we going to do first?"

"Well," proposed Wendy. "We usually meet at the Ithaca Farmers Market on Sunday noon to walk around and have a little lunch. Why don't you show up there 'by accident'. Let me know when you meet up with him. I'll cancel by text and you can walk around with him."

"OK, I guess," said Joellen. "But don't expect too much. I'm not going to go up to him and rip off my clothes or anything."

"I know," said Wendy. "Just keep it subtle. "I want to know how he reacts."

--

Bryan stood at the entrance to the Farmers Market, scanning the crowd looking for Wendy. It wasn't like her to be late for this. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around.

"Hi Bryan!" greeted Joellen, she put her phone away and leaned in for a hug.

"Oh, Hi Joellen," said Bryan. The hug he returned was pretty light. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I thought I'd just come by and look around," said Joellen. "Now that I don't have a boyfriend my time is pretty freed up."

"Oh...yeah...right," said Bryan. "Sorry, how are you holding up?"

"OK, I guess," said Joellen.

Just then Bryan's phone buzzed. He looked down and frowned. "Shit," he muttered.

"What's wrong, Bryan?" asked Joellen.

"Oh, Wendy just canceled on me," he explained. "We usually do lunch here on Sundays...Guess not today...I might as well go back to my apartment."

"Do you know your way around here?" asked Joellen. "I haven't been here much and I could use a guide."

Bryan looked up from his phone and into Joellen's eyes. He thought he saw a tear forming. 'I guess she could use some company,' he thought. "Sure, are you hungry? I'm starved!" he said with a smile.

Joellen smiled back. "Famished!" she answered. "Lead the way!" she said as she reached out her hand.

Bryan looked down at her hand but didn't think too long before grabbing it and heading into the market. After all, they were friends.

For the next hour or so they grazed on the assorted fare offered by the Farmers Market on this warm fall day. Bryan even fed Joellen some of the apple strudel he'd purchased.

"Mmmm, that's so good," Joellen moaned. She took the extra step of licking the apple filling from Bryan's finger as he fed her the morsel. Bryan blushed.

They came up onto one of the wine tasting booths that included the very wine Joellen had gotten drunk on a couple of nights before. "You need to stay away from that one!" counseled Bryan. "It makes you do silly things!"

"What do you mean?" asked Joellen.

"Don't you remember?" said Bryan. "After a bottle of that stuff you kissed me! And in front of Wendy no less! I thought I was a dead man!"

Joellen wondered if this was her chance to see if there was a crack in his armor. "I don't think it's so silly. What's the matter? Didn't you like my kiss?"

Bryan stared at Joellen's beautiful brown eyes. "I...uh...I...uh," he could only stammer.

"Why don't we buy a bottle of this wine and some cheese and crackers and find ourselves a picnic spot," offered Joellen. "Then we can test your thesis about this wine making me do silly things."

"I...uh...I don't think that's a good idea," protested Bryan. He let go of her hand. "I guess I've had enough for lunch today Jo, I'm going to get going. I had fun today. Say 'Hi' to Wendy for me!" and with that he turned and headed for his car.

Joellen just stood and watched him walk away. Clearly she had embarrassed him and he turned tail and ran before she could even "work her magic". "I don't know what the hell Wendy was even thinking," she told herself. "He's not going to fall for this. I knew this was stupid."

Joellen turned to walk back to the bus stop. She felt depressed. She didn't see any chink in Bryan's armor. Hell, she wasn't even able to get him to give her a ride home. Now she was stuck riding the bus. She realized she shouldn't feel bad about this, but it bothered her just the same.

--

"Back already?" asked Wendy.

"Yes," answered Joellen.

"Well, what happened?" said Wendy impatiently.

"Nothing happened," said Joellen as she plopped herself into a bean bag chair.

"Really, nothing at all?" asked Wendy. "Did you even try?"

"Yes I tried!" protested Joellen. "What in the hell do you want me to do? We were in a public place. It's not like I could do much. Besides, I couldn't even get him to kiss me. Are you sure this is even a good idea? He didn't seem willing to try anything."

"Well, I guess that makes sense," said Wendy. "He did just get some a few days ago. Guess he's not desperate yet!"