Bonfire Of The Insanities

Arriving home after work, I'm surprised to see my wife's car in the driveway. As an up-and-coming attorney in our town, she's seldom home this early. I entered the house with a smile on my face, anticipating spending a little extra time with my beautiful bride.

"Hey gorgeous, you're home early." I called out as I entered from the garage. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" The words died on my lips as I entered the kitchen and saw her seated at the table with papers spread in front of her. The look on her face was hard to describe. I can't help but notice things are missing from the house.

"Were we robbed?" I gasped as I took in the scene. "Are you OK?" I attempted to rush to her side to comfort her.

"Please stop." She commanded. "We haven't been robbed and I can't take your knight-in-shining-armor crap right now. It will only make this harder. Sit."

I sat next to her. "What's this all about Natalie?"

She pushed a stack of papers towards me. "Read this and sign it."

I read the first sentence and froze. 'Articles of Divorce'. "What?!" I yelped. "No, I'm not signing this. Talk to me. What's this about?"

"You will sign it." She stated firmly. "It's way beyond fair. All I want is my car and personal effects. You get everything else. The house, the savings, everything. I won't go for your 401K or any other assets. I just want out."

"Why?" I asked. "What have I done to deserve this?"

"Absolutely nothing." She answered, breaking eye contact and lowering her head. "You've been the perfect husband these two years. Attentive, loving and supportive. That's what makes this so hard. A woman couldn't ask for a better partner. The problem is me. I don't love you. I don't think I ever did."

"How... how is that possible?" I nearly shouted and slammed my hand on the table causing her to jump and move away from me. "Why the fuck did you marry me?"

"I've been asking myself the same question for quite some time now." She admitted, voice cracking. "I thought I'd learn to love you with time, but that hasn't happened. You deserve better. Someone to give back to you what you have given me. I'm not that person. I can't live the lie any longer. That's why the divorce is so one-sided. This is 100% my fault. Please just sign the papers and I'll be gone and you can move on to find that special someone."

"Who is he?" I accused. "Who's the bastard that's stolen you from me?"

She broke down, sobbing. "There isn't anyone else." She answered. "There probably never will be. I hope you can believe that."

As I was getting over the shock and the absurdity of what was happening, I was overcome by a new and alien emotion. Anger. I was never one to get mad easily and I always tried to play the peacekeeper whenever possible, but that just went out the window. "Let me get this straight." I spat rising from my chair. "You don't love me and never did. You want out of our marriage and you're giving me the lion's share of our assets because you feel guilty. I'm supposedly the 'perfect husband' and none of this is my fault, yet here I stand, staring at these papers and feeling like I'm getting the absolute worst fucking of my life."

She just nodded, refusing to look up at me.

Grabbing the paperwork, I scrawled my signature at the bottom of the last page and shoved the entire pile at her. "Take this shit and get out." I screamed.

"You... you really should r-read it." She whimpered.

"Why?" I shouted. "It's either what you said it is or you're going to screw me. As good of a lawyer as you are, I couldn't fight it if I wanted to. Now please go before I do something I'm going to regret. I've never been a violent person, but if you say another word to me, I will NOT be responsible for my actions."

She hastily scraped everything into her briefcase (the one I bought her when she passed the bar, no less), latched it and scurried out the front door, down the driveway and out of my life.

Life pretty much sucked for the next few weeks. I called my employer and took FML stating a family emergency and proceeded to drink myself into a coma for the next week or so. Waking one morning, or maybe it was afternoon, time had little meaning at that point, in a pool of my own vomit, I decided. I would not live like this. No, I wasn't going to do anything 'stupid' as the euphemism goes, but I was going to take a decisive step towards improving my overall mental health and happiness.

Over the next several hours, I gathered everything she'd left behind and anything else I could locate that was hers, was bought by her, reminded me of her or just looked at me funny, piled it on my driveway, doused it with about a gallon of gasoline and struck a match. The pile was much larger than I had initially envisioned, but under the circumstances, burning down the entire house was briefly considered, so this was decidedly a better choice.

The ensuing fireball was probably visible to the ISS, so it wasn't much of a surprise when both the police and fire departments showed up a short time later.

As I was sitting in my driveway sobbing hysterically, they were unsure just how to approach me. The fire captain said the fire posed no immediate threat to my home or any nearby structure, so they'd just monitor the situation and step in if needed.

The senior officer was at loss and radioed for a crisis counselor but was told no one was available at the moment.

"Hey guys. Let me have a shot at him." A female firefighter said. "Maybe he just needs a sympathetic ear."

Both the cops shrugged. "Sure, just be careful, he may be violent."

"I will." She smiled. "I don't think that's the case."

I saw her approach. She was tall. I'm only 5'8" and I'm sure she was a good 6 inches taller, maybe more. She smiled at me and was trying her best to appear non-threatening. She sat on the concrete a few feet from me.

"Nice fire." She stated. I could see the concern in her eyes. "I'm Alex."

"Necessary." I croaked. "Corey."

"Want to talk about it?" She inquired.

"Nope." I sniffled, then told her the entire sordid, painful story.

She sat silently as I puked the hate and pain from my system, attempting to rid myself of the last of Natalie and what she had done to me. Strangely I did feel better.

"Sit still, I'll be right back." She reached out and patted my knee.

She rose and strode over to her captain and the officers. They conferred for a bit, then nodded in unison. She then returned, sitting a bit closer this time.

"Under the circumstances, it would be a shame to ruin such a meaningful statement just because it happens to violate several local ordinances." She grinned. "We're going to let you finish. Let us know when you're done and we'll douse everything and be on our way. The officers even agreed to let you off with a warning."

"Thank you." I sputtered. "I guess I didn't think about this endangering anyone else."

"Anger will do that." She sighed. "Believe me, I get it. But credit due here. You did chose a hard, non-flammable surface away from your home and it's not windy today, so it turned out pretty well in the end."

"Except I got all of you involved." I chided myself. "I'm sorry."

"Not a problem as far as I'm concerned." She assured. "I get to watch a fire that's not trying to kill me and it's a nice day, so I'll call it a win."

We sat and watched the fire until all that was left was ashes and bitter memories. The firefighters sprayed down the remnants and I scooped it all into a couple of my garbage cans. As a final good deed, they hosed down my driveway.

Before she left, Alex pressed a piece of paper in my hand. "Call me if you need to talk, I mean it." She locked eyes with me. "I mean it. I understand where you are right now. I'm a friend if you need one."

I nodded, breaking eye contact, blushing slightly, but did not speak.

Those events passed into memory and life went on. I returned to work a few days later and tried to get back into my routine. After a few months, I thought I had.

Fate, however, had a different plan.

I worked downtown for a small engineering firm. We did small jobs for businesses that couldn't afford their own staff. We kept busy and the variety was nice. That said, it's an older building. Eight stories, we were on he fifth floor. Two floors below us was an Ad agency. An electrical short somewhere managed to ignite a small fire there. With all the papers and assorted paraphernalia, the once small problem grew, quickly. The fire alarm was pulled, but it only alerted that floor. By the time we were alerted, the stairwells were full of smoke and evacuation was going to be difficult at best. My office was farthest from the exit, so I was the last to leave. Starting down the stairwell in near zero visibility, I bumped into something (someone?). Crouching, I discovered an unconscious body. I'm not a big man and physical strength was never a strong suit, but fueled by adrenaline, I hefted the body over my shoulder and made my way downward. Would have made it too, except I missed a step, fell and summarily knocked myself out when I hit a handrail.

When I awoke, I was in a bright white room. (Fuck, I'm dead. Was my first thought.) After a few panicked seconds, my vision came into focus and I found myself in a hospital room. My head hurt like Hell and my throat was raw and felt like I'd gargled broken glass. I blinked several times and tried to sit up.

"Slow down cowboy." A voice called out. "Take it easy. You've had a busy day."

"What...?" I tried to speak, nope, not happening.

"No talking." The voice commanded. "Been there, done that. I'll tell you what I know, then we'll wing it."

By that time, the owner of the phantom voice came into view, none other than Alex.

"I was headed up the stairwell to check for injured or trapped people when you very nearly ran me down." She smiled. "If I were an Olympic judge, I'd give you a solid eight on the dive you took. Coulda been a nine+ but you didn't point your toes and, well, knocking yourself out did detract from the score."

I grinned despite the pain I was in. This woman was something else.

"How...?" I croaked.

She held up one finger, chastising me. "You're not letting me finish. She's fine. In a room down the hall. Smoke inhalation, like you and a couple cuts and bruises you may or may not be responsible for."

I looked appalled.

She took my hand and stroked it gently. "You saved her life, honestly. I'm just trying to lighten the mood a little. I'm sorry if it came out wrong. You did a good thing here."

I nodded and smiled. Knowing she was OK was a load off my mind. Since I wasn't supposed to talk, I pointed to her, me, then shrugged.

"Why am I here?" She stated.

I nodded.

"I make the room look better." She chuckled.

I laughed and threw myself into a coughing fit, scaring Alex momentarily.

"Sorry." She apologized. "I have a horrible sense of comedic timing. I was getting checked out myself. Standard practice under the circumstances and decided to drop in on my fellow firebug to see how he's holding up. You never called, so I was worried."

I pointed to myself and looked puzzled.

"Yes you." She said. "Nobody else in here ya goof."

"Why?" I mouthed.

"Kindred spirit maybe." She shrugged. "While not exactly the same, I understand where you are coming from. You've seen me, I'm obviously tall, especially for a woman. I'm 6'4" in bare feet. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me for me. All I ever got was called names. 'Amazon', 'Godzilla', beanpole the list goes on. I've dated on and off, mostly off. Tall men, ones taller than me, don't want a tall woman. They are generally hung up on the petite little things that all but throw themselves at them. I'm certainly not fat, or even overweight, but petite is something I will never be. As for short men, they fall into two categories. First, the insecure ones that could never be with a woman taller than themselves. Second, and even more humiliating are the tall fetish men. They don't want or care about me, they just want some freakishly tall woman to call their own. More of a trophy than anything. Briefly, a year or so ago, I thought I found the one. He was loving, caring and seemed to be everything I was looking for. Lucky for me I didn't marry the sorry asshole. He was OK with me being in a dangerous profession, or so he said. I had a close call, nearly died when a house fire trapped two of us. It could have gone either way. We were lucky. He demanded I quit after that. He wanted me to give up something I loved, something I'm passionate about because it's dangerous. I have accepted that danger. He couldn't. The coward left one day while I was on shift. From what I hear, he packed up and left town. Couldn't even face me... bastard!! Gah!! Sometimes I just want to... Like your little bonfire. Something to clear all the anger, shame and humiliation. Actually, after we met, I did a little pyrotechnic display of my own. It was very satisfying. Thanks for that."

I smiled and dipped my head, happy to have been of some comfort to her.

Checking the clock, she stood. "Gotta get back to the station. Can I stop by later?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Later then." She called out as she walked from the room.

Later turned out to be the next day, right around the time I was to be discharged. Methinks I detect a plot.

The door opened and I was surprised when a strange woman entered. Since she was wearing street clothes, I knew she wasn't a nurse.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"I..." She burst into tears. "T-thank y-you." She sputtered.

It was her, the body in the stairwell. Who else could it be? I was a bit shocked. She wasn't a small woman, but I don't remember having trouble carrying her. Adrenalin I guess.

"I-I'm Sharon." She said, composing herself. "Thank you for saving me."

Trying to lighten the mood. I said. "Well, we were going the same direction, it seemed a shame to waste the opportunity."

She smiled weakly. "No really. I would have died. I can't thank you enough."

"I'm no hero." I stated. "I did what anyone else would have, but I accept your thanks. I'm glad you're OK."

Almost on impulse, She shot across the room and placed a quick kiss on my cheek, just as Alex walked in.

Sharon turned about twelve shades red and scampered from the room.

"Hey Corey. I see you met your biggest fan." Alex called out, smiling as she entered. "Hear they're throwing you out, something about groping a nurse."

"He was pretty hot." I whispered hoarsely, I wouldn't get my voice back for a few more days and talking with Sharon just about did it in.

She lit up like the sun. "Finally, someone that gets my humor. You need a ride home, since I'm here?"

"Can you swing me by work so I can get my car?" I asked.

"Not a problem." She chirped.

It was then I got a look at the building I worked in. I use the term 'building' loosely.

"The sprinkler system was down for maintenance." Alex explained. "We're still not sure why the alarms didn't sound building-wide. Amazed everyone got out. We did what we could."

What was left probably wasn't salvageable, and even if it was, I was unemployed for the foreseeable future. Luckily everyone got out with only a few of us needing treatment.

"Looks like I've got some time on my hands." I stated dejectedly. "Probably should call my boss and see what's going to happen."

"Ask if they had insurance." She offered. "Most don't think to ask if it covers lost wages, a lot of the time it does."

"Thanks, I will." I said. "Thanks for the ride and thanks as well for sharing your story. I'm sorry that happened to you, but it is comforting to know I'm not the universe's only crash test dummy."

"That's a new one." She laughed. "Never been called a crash test dummy. I think I like it."

"You are one strange woman, Alex." I grinned.

"Damn straight." She lightly punched my shoulder. "Don't you forget it. One more thing, though. Please call me in a few days, after everything settles down. I know from experience there may be side effects from what you've been through. Nightmares, insomnia, depression. I want to help if I can."

I nodded to her, thanked her again and left for home.

Initially, I thought her parting words were overly dramatic. I was wrong!

*****

I slept well for the first two nights, too tired to dream, too beat up to care. The third night, however. I was back in the building, flames and smoke everywhere. I could hear people screaming for help and I couldn't find them or a way out. Everywhere I turned was a wall of fire. The heat, the choking vapors. I saw charred bodies, I could hear them sizzle and pop as the flames played over their blackened skin. Empty eye sockets stared into space and mouths opened in screams that would never be heard. I awoke with a scream of my own, gripping my sheets, drenched in sweat as the flames overtook me.

"Fuck!" I gasped, fighting to regain control, my breathing and heart rates elevated to levels that I'm sure were not healthy. I reached a shaking hand out to my nightstand, trying to grab my phone, nearly fumbling it. Keying it to life, I stared at the time 2:48AM. Too scared to go back to sleep, I sat at the kitchen table and stared into space. Alex had been correct. I remembered what she had said and I desperately wanted to call her, just to hear a friendly voice, but at nearly 3AM I decided to text instead. I didn't want to wake her needlessly.

Me: Sure could use a pep talk about now. Call me when you get up.

I had barely sat the phone down when it rang, scaring me half to death. I recognized the number. (not like I got many calls at this hour, who else would it be)

"Alex?" I growled. My voice was nearly back to normal, but still a bit deep and gravelly.

"Nightmare?" She stated.

"Yeah, bad one." I answered.

"Tell me." She implored.

I told her the whole thing, start to finish and felt somewhat better after doing so.

"Pretty much the same one I had after I got trapped in that fire a few years ago." She admitted. "They sent me to the department shrink for a while until I could deal with it. Might help you as well."

"I'll think about it." I deflected. I didn't have a problem with seeking help, per se, I just didn't want to seem weak or whinny, yeah, I know, stupid.

"I won't push you on this." She said. "It has to be your decision. You gonna be OK tonight? I could pop over if you want?"

"Don't want to be a bother." I said.

"I'm off the next two days." She added. "Don't be all macho, if you need a sympathetic ear, I'm here. Remember, I've been where you are."

She could tell I was fighting myself over this. "Just give me your address, not sure I remember exactly where you're at. I'll be there as soon as I can, OK?"

"I-I think I'd like that." I answered shakily.

She must live fairly close because I heard the knock on my door less than thirty minutes later.

Opening the door, there she stood, hair a mess, no makeup but probably the most welcome thing I'd seen in quite some time. I motioned her in, only then becoming fully aware of her height. Eight inches taller than me, I was looking straight into the hollow of her throat.

"Can I get you something?" I asked.

"Two things." She answered. " A pillow and a blanket."

I attempted to ask a question.

"Trust me. OK?"

I nodded and retrieved the items she asked for.

She sat on my couch. "Here, on your back, head in my lap."

I looked confused.

She motioned with her hand, placing the pillow in her lap. "Lay down and cover up."

Reluctantly, I complied.

"Corey, you're exhausted." She observed. "Sleep. I'll be here to fight the demons if they appear. We'll get through this, I promise."

Too tired to argue, I closed my eyes. Alex stroked my hair and hummed softly, lulling me to sleep almost instantly.

I awoke many hours later to full daylight. Alex had one hand on my chest and the other cradled my head, she was fast asleep, snoring softly above me. She had held the demons at bay and I was grateful. I felt much better with a decent amount of sleep in me.