I was in my second year of a joint language and law master's degree at a major US university. The work had kept me busy, and while I'd kept my hand in dating some of my fellow grad students, nothing had seemed to click. Then one day I was sitting down at my favorite street cafe on campus when a cute brunette coed sat down at the table beside me. She was quite a bit younger than me - certainly an undergraduate student. What caught my eye was her reading material, an intermediate textbook on the Japanese language.
Now there aren't many people who study Japanese at any university, and even fewer who stick it out a year or two. It's not that the spoken language is hard to learn - it's actually quite straight forward - but the reading and writing is quite complicated. It takes a Japanese child studying up to junior high school to really be able to write a decent essay in his or her own language. Imagine then a non-Japanese trying the same trick. Impressive to say the least.
Being that it was a warm summer day, the girl was dressed in light casual clothing 'uniform' of a college student. Nothing too revealing and nothing too fancy. She had on a simple blue cotton shirt, yellow shorts and a pair of espadrilles on her feet. She was a little over average height, probably 5' 8', slender, with a modest chest and small behind. She had an aquiline nose, strong dark eyebrows and long jet black hair tied up in a braid down her back. Her arms and legs had a slight muscular look suggesting an athletic interest. Her eyes were covered by sunglasses in fashion at the moment.
She was reading her text book and writing phrases on flip cards. The same sort of activity I had done nearly a decade ago trying to learn the exact same language. By this point my spoken Japanese was close to native fluency having studied many years at undergrad and having lived in Japan for numerous years. Despite not knowing the woman, I felt an immediate affinity to her, like being part of secret society trying to unpick the hidden rituals of an ancient order. I wanted to help her progress and believed I might be able to share a few shortcuts based on my years of painful experience.
So I casually started a conversation: "How many years have you been studying Japanese," I asked.
She straightened up, raised her glasses and looked at me with the most amazing bright blue eyes. "I'm in my third year now," she said "Why do you ask?"
Why did I ask I thought? "Well I'm a student of Japanese myself and there aren't many of us around. I just thought it would be fun to see what you are learning and perhaps we could chat a little."
She brought her text book over to my table keeping it open to a well highlighted page. "I'm learning about the causative passive tense, it just seems so strange, why would you ever use it?" she asked.
I chuckled a little at that. "Well you just happen to be studying the most Japanese of all verb tenses. Imagine you don't want to offend anyone in a work setting, not step on any toes, but at the same time let people know that a decision has been made. You just use the causative passive. It's like saying "X" has come to pass but no one person or group specifically made it "happen."
Her eyes lit up and she said "I get it, sort of like an extension of not using pronouns because their implied and it would seem too individualistic or rude to do so."
"Exactly so," I replied.
Of course, she wanted to know how long I'd studied Japanese, whether I'd lived in the country, doing what, what was I studying now, my name and family history and so on and so forth. For her part she shared her name, Jasmine, that her family was all Persian and lived in the LA area, and that she became obsessed with things Japanese through anime and old Kurosawa samurai movies. She was a Junior and planning to move to Japan after graduation to perfect her language skills and get to know the culture better. Pretty much what I had done a decade ago.
With our shared interest in everything Japanese we talked for a couple of hours without realizing it and I started to feel hungry. My attraction to Jasmine was undeniable - she was striking with her amazing eyes, fit figure, our shared a passion, and she was just so personable and easy to get along with. It didn't take me any effort to ask if she'd like to go to my favorite Japanese restaurant but only if she'd let me take her out. Jasmine graciously accepted and then called her roommate to let her know the details and that she'd be out for the evening.
We ate a plate of sushi supplemented by tea and miso soup and from that day on, we would catch up every couple of days to practice Japanese, eat a meal, or enjoy whatever Japanese movie or art event was in town. But despite having a lot of fun and spending so much time together it was hard to read Jasmine. Was she interested in me as a friend or something more? So I decided to up the ante and invite her to a cottage my family owned about an hour away from the University. There were two bedrooms so she could stay in her own room or join me in mine.
Jasmine never asked about the sleeping arrangements and when I pulled up at her building there she was on her doorstep with a small roller case. She knew I loved the area around the cottage with its walking trails, forests, rivers and fresh air. My excitement at having Jasmine all to myself in my favorite place was contagious. We were both warm and happy perhaps tinged with a trace of nervous excitement on my part.
We arrive and I opened the door and turned off the alarm. I showed her around the place and after the short tour she simply wheeled her small suitcase into the master bedroom without a word - although it spoke volumes to me. I put away the groceries and started preparing dinner with Jasmine acting as my sous-chef cutting vegetables, helping set the table, and opening a wine bottle. For while Jasmine was nominally Muslim like I am nominally Christian she enjoyed a glass of wine from time to time.
