Blending Love

Warning, dear readers, this is long with not a lot of sex. I have placed it in the romance category as it does involve infidelity, but it could easily sit in the LW section too, I guess. SJ.

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I had suspected Trevor had been cheating on me for some months. Actually, if I was honest with myself, I suspected he had been cheating on me for a lot longer than that. We had been together for almost ten years, married for six and had two gorgeous children, Alexander, known as Alex who was 7 and Charlotte who was almost 4.

Alex was not planned. Trevor was in the Navy and was at sea a bit. When I say a bit, he was at sea for eleven of our first twelve months together and more often than not in our first three years together. We met at a bar one night. I was out with girlfriends, other nurses who worked with me at the hospital and a ship was in town. Trevor chatted me up, I took him back to mine and the sex was so amazing that we both agreed we needed to keep in touch.

I first though I was simply a fling, I did not doubt he had a girl in every port. He had the most amazing cock. It was larger than average with an almighty girth and it hit all the right places. Sure, it hurt in some positions, but pain came with the pleasure. Plus, he had a tongue piercing that did amazing things to my clit when he devoured me down there. Trevor was in town for three more nights and we spent them together. We did some touristy things during the day, but we also found ourselves catching up on the sleep we were missing at night. Even though it was against my work ethic, I even called in sick for two shifts so I could see Trevor.

After four days, I thought I was in love. Trevor paid for air tickets for me to fly to Sydney and meet him as his tour finished. He told me he had two weeks leave then and he wanted to spend it with me. I made the arrangements at work and was there as he walked down the gangplank. He saw me in the crowd and rushed to me swinging me in the air and kissing me. He told me how much he had missed me.

Sex filled a lot of the two weeks, but after just one we declared love to each other. My parents were killed in a plane crash five years before and I had never really gotten along with my older brother so there was just me. I was 23 and thought this was a fairy-tale. Trevor suggested I move in with him in Nowra, south of Sydney and I readily agreed. I resigned my job and applied for and got a new job in my new town. The navy paid for my move as I was considered the spouse or partner of a sailor.

Trevor sailed again a few weeks after I moved down. He had introduced me to a few of the navy wives who lived nearby, and I had met a few nurses at work. Everyone loved Trevor as he was the life of the party and they were so glad that he had settled down. Perhaps I should have noticed when people started using that expression, but I was in love, well I was in lust really.

I had never lived with a guy before. I'd had a couple of serious relationships, but usually they fizzled out after a few months as neither of us knew they were going to be forever relationships. Trevor did feel different in this regard and I believed we were going to be together forever.

Postcards would arrive from time to time. Trevor was good with an email, usually telling me the things he wanted to do to me when he got home. My friend, Chris, often commented that Trevor contacted me a lot more than her husband of eleven years, Barry. I threw myself into my work and really liked the people I was working with. It was different to the work I had done in Queensland, but I loved it. I was working on an orthopaedic ward and loved the variety of cases. Often we would get the grandmas who had fallen and broken their hips, but we also got trauma victims from accidents and the like.

I arranged to take a week off when Trevor finally got home. It was the longest I had been without sex since I discovered boys as a teenager, and I was gagging for it! Trevor barely made it in the door before I was undoing buttons and disrobing him. We settled into domestic bliss.

One weekend, Trevor drove me to Sydney to meet his parents, Jill and Pat, and his sister, Melody. Melody and I were soon close friends. She was finishing her university studies to become a doctor and we were both thrilled when she was posted to Nowra for her intern year.

After two years, Trevor proposed. It was on the beach as the sun rose one morning. We had been out at a party dancing for most of the night and Trevor decided we were still up and the sunrise was only an hour away so we could go down and wait for it. I later learnt he had been carrying the ring around for weeks waiting for the right time to ask. The proposal was beautiful and he listed the things he loved about me. I don't think I will ever forget it, "Ruth, I don't want you to think I only see you as a sex god, because you are so much more to me than that. You are kind and caring and considerate and loving. You go out of your way to please others, often at your own expense and well yes, you are the most amazing lover and I want to grow old with you. Marry me?"

Setting a date for the wedding was hard. Trevor was at sea a bit and Melody was busy at work. We agreed we were in no hurry, however we were both surprised when I became pregnant with Alex. We usually relied on condoms as hormonal birth control did not agree with my emotions. We would go bareback during my period or soon after. I'm pretty sure I conceived when Trevor came home from a training drill and took me from behind in the kitchen as I was cooking dinner. I thought we would be safe, but no, we were blessed with a beautiful son. Trevor was a doting dad.

We thought about getting married whilst I was pregnant, but neither of us minded bringing a child into the world and us not being married. Instead, we married on Alex's first birthday and had an amazing celebration. Alex was an amazing baby. He slept well from the get-go and hardly ever misbehaved. It lulled me into a false sense of security. After he was born, I had a non-hormonal IUD inserted and our sex life was better than ever. We didn't have to worry about condoms and were often spontaneous- baby had gone down for a nap, we'd make love. Baby woke up in the middle of the night for a feed, we'd make love after putting him back again.

Trevor told me I had made him the happiest man in the world. He had progressed up the line of command in the Navy too and was promoted to officer capacity. This involved a move to Perth. I had never been there, but of course the Navy arranged it all. I thought moving with a two-year-old would be challenging, but it really was a breeze. Before we moved, Trevor suggested I have the IUD removed and we make a brother or sister for Alex. I thought it was a great idea.

Somewhere during our move, Charlotte was conceived. Trevor was over the moon, however I was beginning to experience the worst morning sickness imaginable. I had worked all through my pregnancy with Alex, and I had a job lined up in Perth, but I had to turn them down as I was constantly unwell. I was even hospitalised at one stage and put on a drip for a few days.

We went without sex for over four months. I was vomiting and did not want anyone to come near me. I could almost muster enough cuddles for my son, but I had nothing left for my husband. He would plead and tell me he had blue balls. Eventually I let him fuck me one night, But I lay there and tried not to vomit. Trevor tried to arouse me and all, but I was not at all responsive to him.

I referred to Charlotte as the parasite inside me. It was nothing like my pregnancy with Alex. I was also in a new town the other side of the country from my support network of Jill and Pat and, of course, Melody. We would FaceTime, but even then, I tried to keep a brave face and not tell them how bad it was.

Labour with Charlotte was also vastly different to Alex. I tore all the way to my anus in delivering her. I was determined to breastfeed, but constantly battled mastitis. Whereas it would seem Alex would sleep 23 hours per day, Charlotte slept in two-minute bursts. I was constantly exhausted. The main way I got relief was to carry her in the baby carrier, wearing her close to my chest, but this upset Trevor who kept telling me I was spoiling her.

During this time we fought a lot. Looking back, I can now also recognise that I had the classic symptoms of post-natal depression, but I had few friends, and no one really knew me well or knew the old me, pre pregnancy with Charlotte. Trevor and my sex life stopped. I was so sore after she was born and when Trevor tried to penetrate me when she was seven weeks old it was painful still. He never tried again for ages. I'm not sure if he was having affairs before this, but he soon stopped asking for sex and I simply assumed he was getting it elsewhere. In my mind I figured he was being discrete, and I was in so exhausted I hardly blamed him.

When Charlotte was twelve months old, we were transferred back to Sydney. I was so relieved. Charlotte was sleeping a little more, but not much. Our sex life was pretty non-existent. Trevor was still kind and caring towards me however and always gave me a kiss and a hug when he got home. He would often sleep in the spare bed in Charlotte's room however as the only way Charlotte would sleep was lying next to me.

Jill was a lifesaver when we moved back to Sydney. She could see how bad things were. She made an appointment for Charlotte with a top paediatrician who immediately diagnosed her with reflux. There was a medication that we tried that made her a new baby. I was so relieved. Trying to make an effort with Trevor I purchased some new sexy lingerie, but Charlotte would still wake up when we were in the middle of love making and soon it just became too hard.

I confided in Melody that I thought Trevor was having affairs and she laughed and told me that there was no way he would do that- they had an uncle who had done that and the family disowned him and she said she could still hear her father telling the both of them as teenagers that if ever they did that then their wife or husband would be the one taken in by the family and not them.

Trevor was sent on a training course for three months in Melbourne. It was not at sea so he could phone home and talk with Alex and Charlotte at night and facetime with me. We managed to have phone sex one night and Trevor told me how much he missed me. Alex was at school by this stage and Charlotte was three. Jill suggested I take a long weekend and go and spend it with my husband in Melbourne and she would look after the kids. They were both excited and I thought this would be the weekend I would get my marriage back on track.

It ended up being the weekend that saw my marriage end. Trevor told me he was so excited I was coming, but he would be unable to collect me at the airport on the Thursday as he had to be at his training course. He arranged a driver for me. I still had an IUD inside me, and I was set for four days of lovemaking and not having to worry about children. The driver dropped me at Trevor's apartment, and I collected a key from reception as we had arranged. I knew Trevor would be home in around an hour, so I planned on having a shower and greeting him in a silk robe with nothing underneath. I had purchased candles and packed them and knew I would be greeted by a bachelor pad.

Serviced Apartments get cleaned on a schedule and Trevor had never really been a slob. It was a nice apartment. I mentally made a note of the couch and thought it would be a great venue for fucking. I went into the bedroom and saw Trevor's dirty washing in a neat pile. I unpacked my bag and set up the candles around the room. It smelt of Trevor and made me smile.

My period had ended a few days before, but I still wore a panty liner just to be safe travelling. I sat on the toilet and wrapped it to place in the bin. When I lifted the lid of the bin however I discovered three used condom wrappers, no condoms, just wrappers. My heart sank. I no longer wanted to shower. I wanted to run from the place. I knew I had suspected, but this was almost proof. I picked up the wrappers, 'ribbed for her pleasure' and tried not to cry.

I blamed myself. I tried not to blame Charlotte. She had grown into a gorgeous toddler and was sleeping so much better. Gathering the wrappers, I made my way to the lounge room and sat in the single chair in silence waiting for Trevor to return.

Lost in my own thoughts I did not register it was a key turning in the lock until the door flung open and Trevor appeared. "Oh Ruth, my Ruthie! It is amazing to see you; you do not know how much I've missed you!" I turned my head as he tried to kiss me, and he planted a kiss on my ear. "Ruth, darling, what is it?"

I held up the wrappers and asked why they were in the waste basket in the ensuite bathroom. Trevor did not even try to make excuses. He basically told me he needed to get his rocks off and I had been so unavailable for the past four years. He tried to pretend it was not a big deal and he was so glad I was "now back."

"Trevor, I've not been anywhere except raising your children. You know my pregnancy with Charlotte was horrible. You know she was a trying baby. You knew I was in a new city and did not know a soul and yet all you were concerned with was getting your rocks off."

I was crying by this stage. He tried to tell me it was just sex and it meant nothing. Somehow, he just dug himself deeper and deeper. I had already rung the airline and there were no seats on any flights back to Sydney that evening. I also knew I did not have the funds to find a motel for the night so I told Trevor I would sleep on the couch and be out of his hair by morning. Trevor arranged some take away for dinner, but I was not at all hungry. I hated being in the same room with him.

Another key turned in the lock as we finished dinner. I looked at Trevor with a look of disgust. I grabbed my bag from the bedroom and walked past the young woman, several years younger than me with the perfect figure and huge breasts, well much larger than mine, and tried not to cry.

"You must have forgotten to mention that your wife was in town for the weekend." I managed to spit out as I stormed out. I could hear her behind me telling Trevor that she thought I arrived on Friday. I did not know what to do. I rang Jill and told her. Melody had been right about one thing and Jill was disgusted with her son's behaviour. She booked a hotel for me for the night and paid for another ticket for me to fly home in the morning.

Jill met me at the airport and said that Pat was with the children. I knew I would have to move again as I could not stay in the house that came with my husband's job. Trevor made good money, but he spent most of it on video games and computer parts and accessories. Our savings account was only three figures and I had always refused to have a credit card. I did have $2,000 in my old savings account from pre-children. Looking back, I wondered why I kept it, especially in my former name, and I wonder how long I had actually worried about my husband and our marriage.

Trevor was due back in three weeks from his course. I had switched my phone off, however Jill told me he had called her several times to try and argue 'it was not what it looked like!' If I hadn't found the condom wrappers, I might have believed him, and I was actually grateful that he had refused to have the vasectomy as I asked after Charlotte was born.

Explaining that we were moving to my children was hard. It meant a new school for Alex. Charlotte understood less of what was happening, but she was very clingy. I knew I would be unable to afford housing in Sydney and Melody suggested a move to Newcastle, a couple of hours north where she was working. She had found an amazing boyfriend in Nelson who was a nurse at the local hospital, and we all assumed they were partnered for life. Jill and Pat were very supportive and insisted in paying the bond and first three months' rent in our new apartment.

I was keen to get back to nursing, however I also recognised that working shifts with young children as a sole parent was never going to work. Melody again came to the party and sussed out some work for me in the hospital clinics. This would be a Monday to Friday job only and I should always be finished by 6pm. Melody argued that between her and Nelson, someone would be able to collect Alex from after school care and Charlotte from childcare.

Trevor decided to make our divorce proceedings as hard as possible. I applied for child support from him. He tried to argue that Charlotte was not his child and demanded a DNA test. I had told Jill and Pat that Trevor would still be their son and I wanted them to keep in contact with him as much as possible. The DNA test was all too much for Pat however who told me that he never wanted anything to do with his so-called son ever again.

"Ruth," he had confided in me one day, "Trevor was a demon of a baby. He caused morning sickness in his mother and did not sleep for more than five minutes for over three years. Jill and I did not make love for almost four years. In that time, I made sure she was looked after. I hoovered every Saturday morning and I did all the dishes. She refused to let me cook her dinner. And I would relive myself in the shower most mornings remember the fun we had had trying to conceive our son."

Pat was so serious and I appreciated his candour. It did explain why there was five years difference in age between Trevor and Melody. Pat also confided in me that Melody was not planned, but she was a different child to her brother. She was calm and placid and slept beautifully. Pat made a point of telling me though that even if Melody had been like her brother he would not have complained, and he would have simply done the same thing again for however long it took.

For the next few years I was in and out of courtrooms arguing for custody of my children. Trevor knew he was not in a place to care for them full time as he was still an active seaman and was away for long periods. He did this though knowing it was costing me money. Jill and Pat were self-funded retirees, however they lived a modest life. What surprised me however was Melody told me she was going to pay my legal fees. I'm pretty sure Trevor never bargained on this.

One day the family court judge was so angry with Trevor that she told him that if he continued to file vexatious complaints about the mother of his children then she would ensure I was given full parental responsibility and he would have supervised visits three times per year. It was finally agreed that Alex and Charlotte would spend every second weekend with their father and a week in the school holidays, two weeks in the Christmas holidays with alternating years for major events. It was what I had asked for when my lawyer first contacted Trevor. I was also awarded half of Trevor's superannuation or pension fund and when Trevor tried to protest the judge asked if he would rather pay spousal alimony.

As soon as the orders were finalised of course Trevor did not want to see his children for nine months. I know he was not at sea as his open social media accounts showed him at bars and clubs in Sydney with various women dripping off his arm.

I enjoyed my job immensely. I got to comfort people before an operation and see them again after they were at home when they returned to the clinics. Sometimes I would offer medical advice on a new condition they had been diagnosed with. There were different doctors through all the time. Most were lovely, a few got on my nerves. Melody had been accepted into a training position and she and Nelson bought a house together on the outskirts of Newcastle. It was a stunning home with a large yard with a swing set and a tyre hanging from a rope on a large oak tree in the backyard. Alex and Charlotte loved it and were always asking to go and visit Auntie Melody and Uncle Nelson.