This is part four of the story of Maddie and Ted. I know the politics aren't perfect before anyone comments. In some places, it is generalizations about how we think Washington works. In others, this story is the fantasy of how Washington should work. I'm just having fun. I hope you are too. Enjoy!
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The lead-up to the meeting was tense. The speaker wanted complete secrecy. We held our meetings at night after the press had left. Raj, Eddie, and I were the only ones technically invited. The Republicans were so confident that this would get a quick death that they had scheduled the meeting for Friday, December 10th, the same night as the Congressional Christmas Party. They didn't expect us to go late. The Speakers plan was for us to go into the meeting, and then she would make a statement announcing her full support of the negotiations and the project. Several leadership members, including the House Majority Leader, Stan Houser, would come in and knock it out. It seemed like it could work. Raj, as ever, was confident in victory.
"Oh, my God, I can't wait to see the look on their faces." He said before shoveling Chinese food into his mouth. He followed it up with a muffled, "Glorious."
We were in Eddie's office on the night before the meeting. Because Eddie had been a marine and sat on both a veterans committee and a defense spending committee, we figured his office was the least likely to be bugged. My chief of staff Mike, Eddie's boyfriend, and Eddie's chief Eric Russell, a former marine like Eddie, were also there. Eric was reading over the proposal and making notes. Mike was preaching caution.
"Look, we may win the shock value fight, but there is going to be a cost. There is no way the Farmer is going to let you guys hoodwink him for free. You need to be ready," he said, looking right at me, "to give up on something. Maybe your education bill." Kyle Farmer was the minority leader. He was a rarity in politics, a Republican from California.
"But what we are proposing is just an increase in cost to insurance companies and making them promise not to leave people in the lurch when they most need them." Eddie countered.
"Insurance companies give to Republicans more than Democrats. Farmer is going to protect his guys. Also, you know they are going to sneak those costs back on consumers. I'm just saying. There may be a cost." Mike said.
"We can't know until we get in the room," I said. "Let's all head home, get some rest, and come do this thing tomorrow. No slip-ups now. We are almost there." And with that, our little meeting broke up.
The next morning I snuck out of Maddie's room early and headed into the office. I got there before any of my staff. I wanted to get my head straight and not have to worry about running into someone and spilling. Mike called me from the outer office when it was time to head down.
Raj was already there, and Eddie was shortly behind me. We walked into the conference room together. Kyle Farmer sat at the middle of the table. He had salt and pepper hair slicked back and dark tan skin. For a guy in his late fifties, he looked great. Seated next to him was Mark Grast. Grast was Florida Republican and a firebrand. Only a few years older than me in his late thirties, he had made a Reputation on committees for screaming down the witnesses. If he was here, it meant this meeting was about to get noisy. With them was a Kansan named White, who I didn't know and next to him, because of course, she was, was Maddie. I had to do everything in my power not to smile and wave like an idiot. She nodded an acknowledgment to each of us, although her eyes lingered a little longer on me than the others.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, gentlemen, finally," Farmer said, standing to shake our hands. "You caused me some trouble over the holiday."
"Well, sir, we hope it didn't ruin your meal," Raj replied.
"No, no. Although I think it increased the heartburn." Farmer said to some lite laughter. "So, why don't we get started?"
"There's no reason to start Kyle," Grast sneered. "This meeting is already over."
"Oh," Eddie said, "So you agree to the proposal?"
"No, there is no proposal. There is just a fucking waste of time." Grast almost shouted. The whole room seemed stunned. Farmer cleared his throat.
"I think what my colleague so rudely was trying to say is that you don't seem to have your side together on this. You three started making some noise, and now nothing. Maybe you all were out on a limb too much." Farmer said, almost like he felt bad for us. Just then, the door swung open, and Stan Houser walked in. Behind him was Dale Parker and, I shit you not, Gus Hankin.
"What limb would that be, Kyle?" He asked. Farmer jumped up to shake his hand.
"Stan, I didn't know we would be having other guests. Please come in and sit down." Farmer waved them toward the empty chairs.
"Well, after the Speaker's statement, I thought I better see how the big deal was going," Houser said, a slight grin on his face. Farmer froze for a moment and then looked around the table.
Grast chimed in, "What fucking statement?"
Farmer found what he was looking for, a TV remote, and pointed at the screen on the wall, up popped CNN. The chyron said it all before he got the volume up. SPEAKER ANNOUNCES PLANNED DEAL ON PREEXISTING CONDITIONS.
The announcer was saying, "having just left the podium where she announced she was pleased to back the bipartisan negotiations taking place right now and that she felt confident in imminent success."
Farmer turned off the TV, put his fists on the table, and shook his head. To my surprise, he looked at Houser, and a smile crept onto his face.
"She wasn't hanging them out to dry." He didn't say it as a question.
"Tempted though she was, she couldn't say no to Mr. Kahn's million-dollar smile," Houser said. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to stifle a laugh. I then felt a foot kick me under the table and looked up to see Maddie scowling at me.
"Bullshit!" Grast sneered again. "We aren't signing on to this shit." He stood up.
"Shut up, Mark. And sit down. This is a negotiation now." Farmer was still smiling as he sat down. "Ok, but we get to make the announcement."
"No way! It was our idea. You're only here because we ratcheted up the pressure." Raj said, almost coming out of his chair. Houser put his hand on Raj's arm.
"We approve the text, and we have people there when you make it," Houser said, keep his hand on Raj.
"I gotta give my people something. Grast is a dick, but his guys will howl if we don't give them something." Farmer said casually.
"Hey, fuck.." Grast started to say, but White cut him off.
"Will you shut up, Grast. Jesus, I'm tired of your victim shit. You guys bitch and moan and make us look bad." White had turned almost red, and his fists were clenched. "We are making you a deal." Before anyone else had a chance to speak, I threw out the first thing that came to my head.
"Congresswoman Crawford announces the plan with Mr. Kahn and leadership present," I said, almost too fast. The room stopped, and everyone looked at me. Maddie seemed to be the most perplexed.
"What the hell for?" Grast barked. He thought he should be making the announcement, probably so that he could editorialize while he was doing it.
Before I could speak, Gus Hankin raised his voice, "Because we're giving you the hard cap on the transportation bill. States now don't have to make special concessions. The lowest bidder gets federal construction contracts. Provided none of you fuck with my unions." Houser looked mildly surprised but didn't say no. Instead, he looked at Farmer.
"Kyle?"
Farmer looked at his people. White seemed genuinely pleased and said yes. Maddie also agreed. Grast was breathing heavily and staring at the table, looking like he wanted to punch someone. When he felt Farmer's gaze, he half flicked his fingers to show consent. Farmer stood up. Houser did the same.
"Well, Stan, looks like you have yourselves some good boys. These three Amigos got the job done. Also, can you please ask Carol to swing by my office when she has a minute?" He held out his hand, and Houser took it. Grast bolted out of his chair and hit the door before anything else was said.
An hour later, Maddie and Raj were at a podium with House leadership flanking them. She did great and even gave Raj a turn at the mic. I was coming to understand that he did have a million-dollar smile, though I would be damned if I would ever tell him that. He would be insufferable. I hung around the office, finishing some paperwork. My rental tux was in the bathroom, so I didn't need to go home before the Christmas party. Several people swung by to say congratulations. I thought Maddie would stop by, but she didn't. Eventually, it was time to head over to the Capital for the party.
The Rotunda was full of men in black ties and women in ball gowns. There was a band playing Christmas music softly to one side. White coated waiters were weaving between the guests with trays of champagne and hors d'oeuvres. I got a martini from the bar and went to look for my friends. I wanted to see Maddie and talk to her. I heard Raj call out.
"Ted, Ted! Here he is. My man. Dealmaker extraordinary!" Raj said as he slapped me on the back. A group of Congressmen and women surrounded him, along with some staffers. Dale Parker was there with his wife.
"Yep," Dale chimed in. "I thought we were done when Grast started making demands. But, Ole Ted here nailed him."
"Come on, guys, we all got it done. We worked the plan, and we cut a good deal." I said, trying to deflect a little. "Hey Raj, have you.."
"Over there." He said, tilting his glass. "You are one lucky man."