Beltane's Night

(The Dark Night of the Soul)

"Upon a darkened night

The flame of love was burning in my breast

And by a lantern bright

I fled my house while all in quiet rest"

She had lain awake all night, restlessly tossing on her straw pallet, watching the gilded moon rise slowly in the window. She heard the shallow breath of her sisters deep in sleep beside her. She thought of the man she adored, loved him with a passion, knew she had to see him. Slowly she rose and buttoned a woolen cloak around her simple shift. With trembling fingers, she lit her oil lamp.

"Shrouded by the night

And by the secret stair I quickly fled

The veil concealed my eyes

While all within lay quiet as the dead"

Feet bare, she padded down the stone stairs of her parents' little house. Easing the wooden door open, she inhaled the clean night air, feet tickled by the dew-laden grass. Her mount was waiting in the paddock; she threw a rope bridle over the horse's head, not bothering with a saddle. She mounted and pulled her cloak hood down, then was off, galloping to meet her beloved.

"Oh night thou was my guide

Oh night more loving than the rising sun

Oh night that joined the lover

To the beloved one

Transforming each of them into the other"

She had first seen him on her way home from Sunday Mass. Tall and blue-eyed, he was dressed in a monkish robe, dried wild flowers and birds' feathers plaited into his gold hair. They had spoken briefly, until her father pulled her away and slapped her hard across her mouth. "Daughter, do not make eyes at him! He is a pagan, in the Devil's service!" She later learned that he was called Faun, and lived in the Grove outside the village. Even her religion's threat of damnation could not stop her from longing for him; she loved the pagan man.

"Upon that misty night

In secrecy, beyond such mortal sight

Without a guide or light

Than that which burned so deeply in my heart"

Her horse's hooves pounded rhythmically on the dirt road. Every one of her senses seemed deliciously alive, she could smell the new grass, taste the moisture in the air, hear the smallest of night insects, felt the rough warmth of the cloak on her back. She slowed her steed to a walk as she approached the Grove, which shone like a fairy kingdom in the moon's light.

"That fire 'twas led me on

And shone more bright than of the midday sun

To where he waited still

It was a place where no one else could come"

He was standing there, in a circle of trees, a small bonfire burning brightly. He was gloriously naked, wearing deer antlers upon his head. "It is Beltane, the most holy of nights." He smiled as he helped her dismount from her horse.

"Within my pounding heart

Which kept itself entirely for him

He fell into his sleep

Beneath the cedars all my love I gave"

He took her face in his gentle hands and moved his full, soft lips all over her face. She returned his kiss passionately, her genitals filled with the heat of desire, a feeling the priests would call sinful, but she know knew the feeling to be holy. He undid her cloak and shift and laid them on the grass. He caressed her breasts, and kissed his way down her body, his strong manhood rising. Gently pulling her down, he licked at her sex, sending her into shivers of delight. Moving under him, she stroked his member, feeling the coarseness of his pubic hair and the warm, soft skin of his shaft. He raised himself up and peered intently into her eyes "Thus the Horned One and the Maiden come together." He murmured as he thrust into her. She cried out, partly in pain, partly in pleasure as he made love to her. Their animalistic cries and moans became louder as they moved in harmony. In a wild rush, they climaxed together, he shooting his scared seed into her. Sighing, her pulled out of her and relaxed on the grass, holding her so that his whole body was in contact with hers. Slowly, his eyes closed, his deep breath warming the back of her neck.

"I lost myself to him

And laid my face upon by lover's breast

And care and grief grew dim

As in the morning's mist became the light"

She snuggled up to him, seeking the warmth of his body. The sun was now rising, sending beams of light through the trees. Never had a sunrise seemed so beautiful as the one on this spring day. Regretfully she sighed, she must get home, her parents must never know that she had been with her pagan man. She rose and dressed, smiling at her lover, who lay watching her, smiling dreamily. As she mounted her horse he stood "Please come back to me soon." With a delicate kiss on his forehead, she promised "I will." She spurred her horse homeward, already looking forward to the next time she would be with her pagan lover at the Grove.

Lyrics by St. John of the Cross

Story by Sarah C.