NOTE: This one is light on sex, more about relationships.
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MOM
A police patrol picked up Annie French well after midnight drunk, smoking some sort of 'weed' that didn't appear to be cannabis and took her into custody for her own safety. The holding charge was vagrancy because she couldn't remember where she lived but the charge would not stick in court because she had almost $400 bucks in her wallet in the back pocket of her jeans.
Annie was released early next morning and told to go home and behave.
"Where have you been you slut?" barked her mom, looking at the disheveled 24-year old blonde with baby blue eyes.
"Oh Deborah and I had a few drinks after a movie and I stayed at her place."
"I don't believe you. I'm calling Deborah's mom."
"Fine, here's Mrs Walter's house phone number," Annie said, hauling out her library card from her wallet and staring her mom in the eye.
Carol was duped. "All right but get into the shower and tidy up. You have that interview with Mrs Crowley early this morning.
"Oh shit, thanks for reminding me. Black coffee please."
"What did you just say?"
"Black coffee. I said please."
Carol sighed. "Here sip this Gatorade slowly while I dissolve two Berocca for you and then I want you to eat this banana."
"You know I don't eat bananas," Annie said with a sense of futility, expecting her mom would win this one.
"Annie!"
""Okay mom who shall be obeyed."
"Right and I want you to walk to the interview as that will help to disperse your hangover. Phone when it's finished and I'll drive over and get you."
Two and a half hours later Carol collected her daughter and they went to the mall for early lunch.
"That stupid bitch grilled me for an hour while several applicants were out in five to ten minutes."
"As a successful novelist Hannah Crowley is certainly not stupid and judging by her popularity as a professional speaker and all-round celebrity she's unlikely to act like a bitch.
"Well whatever."
"And what does that mean young lady?"
"It's an answer you interpret to your satisfaction. Is your daughter becoming too clever for you mother?"
"Bite the hand that feeds you darling and you'll learn who's the stupid bitch."
"Oh are we having one of those forgettable lunches. Anyway dad will dispense cash my way till I get employment if funding from you dries up."
"You father will not do that without getting my approval first."
Annie looked out of the window and smiled. Her father had generously supported her excesses financially during her final eighteen months at university when completing a master in administration. Jack began funding her after Annie had arrived home unexpectedly to find him plowing her mom's sister in the pool dressing room. Annie had raced to the dressing room thinking their cat was cornered by a pack of rats or whatever only to find her father was the rat and the screamer was Aunt Judith.
God the size of her dad's dick had made Annie feel faint. She later negotiated a great deal but unfortunately to get it had to agree the financial support stopped when she graduated and at that point the unfortunately incident would be regarded as dead and buried. Annie still had the occasional nightmare dreaming about the size of her dad's erection. Her mom's ability to deal with that monster really impressed her.
Carol had given her daughter a lovely little navy blue dress and with Annie opening the bag and holding up the dress and saying her mom was so generous to buy something so beautiful for her difficult to live with daughter, made the startling announcement: "Hannah Crowley interviewed you for an hour because she thinks you are the one."
"That's flying a kite; you can't be sure of that. What if she interviewed someone for two hours?"
"Did she?"
"Fuck mom, how would I know that?"
"Apologize to me young lady."
"What for?" Annie said, trying to stare her mom down.
Carol was a redhead with freckles. Her top lip pulled back; the veins in her neck bulged and she pushed her jaw forward. That frightened Annie.
Her phone went.
"Answer your phone you young bitch," hissed her mom. "It will be Mrs Crowley."
Voice quavering, Annie said it was Annie French speaking.
"Dear Annie, it's Hannah. I've had a big think about you. I wish to make you two offers. The first is as we discussed. You work for me on weekdays, eight hours a day, administering my business affairs for a salary of $26,000. Alternatively, you come and live with me and work longer hours, administering my business affairs and being my social secretary and accompanying me to many of my social and speaking engagements and managing my contracts with people who do research for me and dealing with my publisher's minions but I'll continue to deal with my publisher."
"That sounds attractive."
"For that I'd pay you a salary of $48,000."
"The hours would destroy my social life."
"Darling do you really have a social life? You've been away to university and many of your old friends will have flown or have gone out of circulation following marriage."
"That may have happened to you Hannah but I have reconnected to about twenty of my old friends with about forty still to search out."
"So what do you want to be compensated?"
"A salary of $60,000, you to maintain my wardrobe and grooming to the level you require and at your expenses and a year's contract in return for me giving up my life for a year to be at your beck and call."
"That's too much."
"The find someone else," said Annie, and then stopped talking.
Eventually Hannah said, "Why didn't you cut the call?"
"Because I knew you'd buckle."
"Cheeky bitch but that's one of the things that drew me to you; you have a hard edge and appear to know what you're about."
"Might we get on with it? I'm lunching we my mother and she's talking about her lovers."
Annie was relieved to see her mom smile and exhibit no aggression.
Hannah said, "Well I've never thought of making my heroine's mother THAT interesting. Thanks for the prompt."
"So can you afford me at my terms?"
"Yes you have a deal. In fact I believe you'll stimulate me into becoming more productive and exciting as a writer. You see I'll have access to your mind, you being a generation younger than me."
"Yeah, I think I see what you are on about."
"Be at my city office at 11:00 tomorrow. My attorney will be there with the draft contract for you to take away to have your attorney peruse it."
"Keep it simple and I won't have to pay for something I can do for myself."
"Well in that case let's meet at Walter's at 12:30 and we'll sign over lunch."
"Can you be sure of getting a table at this short notice."
"Darling, I am Hannah Crowley who also happens to be wife of celebrity attorney Joseph Crowley."
"Oh the big name pushers who squeeze little folk like me out of restaurants?"
""Beautifully expressed darling. I made a note of that comment. You are earning your keep already."
"Bye Hannah and don't keep me waiting tomorrow."
Hannah laughed. "Oh darling, you are so refreshing and please don't allow me to squash your rebellious spirit. Bye."
Carol said, "So you'll be moving out?"
"Yes."
"Will Hannah Crowley really pay you $60,000 to be available to her at all hours?"
"Yes."
"But you have very little work experience behind you."
"Part of her reasons for hiring me is to be her role model of a younger woman, the age of her heroines."
"What skills of knowledge do you have to be her adviser?"
"Mom have you had group sex, been gang-ganged, had your drink spiked, spent a night in jail, had anal sex, been high on dope, had cat-fights, had sex with your boyfriends' dads and sisters?"
"No of course not. God how revolting."
"I have experienced many of those things mother although I'm not identifying which ones. Please understand my generation of women has done things your generation would have never dreamed of doing."
"Well all I can say darling is I hope you don't disgust Mrs Crowley. I looked up the dust jacket of one of her novels I have, 'Sex Mad Lizzy' and she'll be about forty-eight now."
"Yes, I think that would be right. She mentioned her husband was her senior by twelve years."