________ 4 ________
With the red dawning sun came another day and the incessant clicking and buzzing sounds of slowly awakening insects as they began to stir. Mist could now be seen slowly rising from the cliffs as the sun's golden rays chased away the last of the night's fleeting darkness. With the sun, came increasing light and the sustaining warmth for all life.
Not a single sound could be heard, yet far below in the distance, farmer's silhouettes could already be seen working as they began their daily labor. The sun rose higher and a slight breeze from the East ruffled nearby plants with a hushed muffling sound.
A nearby crow cawed loudly as several startled black Ravens rapidly took flight with a mad fluttering of wings. There was then stillness once more as the tiny silhouettes, seemingly never to move, continued their endless toil. Theirs was a hard life but the only one in which they had ever known; it had been this way for thousands of years. The land itself had been here forever and would still be here long after they were gone, when other silhouettes stood in their place.
Now, from behind, came yet another sound. It was very faint at first but it was there and it was familiar, an unmistakable sound. The high pitched whine and rhythmical cacophony left the impression of a single source for the sound but in reality, there were many. The sound slowly increased in volume until it was deafening and nothing else could be heard...There they are, I thought, as they swiftly came over the treetops... twenty one, twenty two, twenty three...twenty four, twenty five of them in staggered formation... the Huey.
"Vietnam was a complicated war..." began the narration of a young man as the camera now panned the soldiers, inside one of the noisy craft. Andrea and I were currently inside the movie theatre of the Riverside Hotel and Casino in Laughlin. The movie was a critically acclaimed piece created by a famous director who stated that his hope was to create a film depicting the actual life of a soldier in Vietnam from his first day in-country to his home coming.
The timeline of the film was early nineteen sixty eight, more than fifty years ago and almost the exact same time as Rick Sheffield's own Service in Vietnam. The film's director had wanted to put the audience THERE in the soldiers own boots and apparently from the hearsay, he'd succeeded.
Hans had recently seen the movie and had highly recommended it to us, so Andrea and I had decided to go see it. The Huey's electrically powered Gatling guns now opened up with a deafening roar and flying shell casings, as ground fire began to ping around the one of the helicopters. "Nothing can ever prepare you for your first time in actual combat...someone on the ground is trying to KILL you and you're trying to kill them..." the same monotone voice now interjected.
I thought of the man Rick Sheffield and wondered what his job, as a soldier in Vietnam, had been. He was the man in love with my beautiful mother, he had been...my Dad, I suddenly thought. The picture then abruptly cut to the State Of The Union Address inside the White House. "Good evening, my fellow Americans. Tonight I want to speak to you of peace, in Vietnam and South East Asia" President Johnson solemnly said into the camera. The time, written at the bottom of the screen, was March, thirty first, nineteen sixty eight.
I knew that Mom most definitely had been somewhere, probably our house in Stony Brook, and watching this very footage while Ricky had lain in his crib or been in her arms as I played with toy cars and trucks on the floor beneath her.
I suddenly thought of the brand new nineteen sixty eight Mustangs on Ford showrooms across the Nation and some of the, now, famous bands that were, then, nothing more than fledgling groups of guitarists and drummers with no seeming apparent direction.
"...No other question, so preoccupies our people..." President Johnson continued, stone faced, on the screen in front of me. My mind suddenly drifted back to the little green house in Stony Brook again and the recently discovered cache of photographs depicting Mom and Rick Sheffield as a young couple.
In a strange way, the photos had somehow brought Mom back to life again for me, but in a way in which I had never actually known her, a girl in love. Watching President Johnson as he spoke made me think of my mother and the heart wrenching apprehension that she must have felt as she watched this very footage in relative real time. The man she loved was THERE, RIGHT NOW, in Vietnam as President Johnson continued speaking into the camera and addressing the Nation. It suddenly seemed real to me and I felt the pain and tremendous emptiness which Mom must have felt.
For the first time in my life I suddenly realized that my mother hadn't been the indestructible adult that I'd always believed her to be...
The movie was an hour and forty minutes long and proved to be very emotional for me in regard to the correlation of historical time and events during a war that had surrounded Mom and Rick Sheffield's romance. When the overhead theatre lights had come back on again it was obvious that the picture had drained Andrea somewhat as well. The title of the film had simply been "Winter Hopewell" and was apparently the true story of a young kid from Kansas that had been drafted into the Army and lived through the experience of daily boredom, loneliness and terror of combat. He had completed his tour of duty and gone home, a changed man forever.
The producer, said to be a Vietnam Veteran himself, had done his job well and placed the audience THERE, within the mire and filth of war, as he had intended to do. Yet, in all honesty I really wasn't sure if the movie itself had been that great. However, my own personal memories of Mom and childhood, which were associated with the movie, had shaken me.
I had been alive during the timeline of the movie but only as a small child. I remembered seeing President Johnson on TV and knew, from Mom, that he was somehow in-charge of things. I had also known that there had been a war raging in a place called Vietnam and that it was tragic but I didn't understand much else.
Andrea and I now followed the crowd of people and left the theatre. We then took the escalator down to the ground floor and walked through the casino with its din of electronic beeps and mechanical melodies emanating from poker games and slot machines. Taking Andrea's hand, I led her through the turnstile and we exited the building.
The evening air was cool and vehicular traffic seemed lighter than usual as we began walking along the sidewalk en route to the condo in a sullen silence. It was now Sunday, one day before our journey with Long Grey Cloud would begin. Andrea and I had arrived from Phoenix and been back in Laughlin since noon.
"There's still about three hours of daylight left, want to do a bike ride?" I suddenly asked.
"I was just going to suggest that, Tim. It might be a good idea to get one in tomorrow morning as well, since we'll be in the truck for a week or so. What time did you want to leave tomorrow?" Andrea replied.
"Hans will pick us up at high noon, we'll go eat then and start on our way." I said.
"Plenty of time for a morning ride, then." Andrea replied.
"Let's hit the vitamins before we ride this afternoon...You alright?" I suddenly asked, looking at her.
"Yes, that was just a heavy movie for me. Are we ever going to stop shooting at each other, Tim?" Andrea asked, in reference to the movie, as we crossed the street.
"I don't know, Andrea, I hope so. Mom used to ask that question a lot, too." I said.
We were then quiet for a few minutes as we continued walking along the sidewalk, hand in hand. It felt good to be outside again with the evening breeze cooling us.
"I thought a lot about Rick and Lovey's photos, during the movie, and about the two of them being in love while Vietnam was going on. It must have been extremely hard for them." Andrea suddenly said, sadly.
"Mom and Rick are together again now, Andrea." I said quietly as I typed in my pass code for the security gate of the condo.
Once inside Andrea's apartment, I went into the bathroom and washed my face and changed into my sweat clothes. Putting my dirty clothes into the washer then, I found Andrea standing in her own sweat clothes at the dining room table while she studied the eight by ten inch color photos of Mom and Rick Sheffield with a magnifying glass.
"What are you thinking, honey?" I asked
"Look at this, Tim. This is the photograph of your mom, the one you have on the opening page your phone and are so fond of. The 'Carnival Photo' as you call it. Look at the shadows in the photo, it's about noonish." Andrea said
Andrea then quickly shuffled through several photos until she found the one that she was looking for.
"Now look at this photograph with Lovey and Rick standing together. Look closely at the shadows, it's about five o clock in this photo. Look at the way he's holding her, Tim. He's holding her- UP, almost as if she has absolutely no energy whatsoever in this photo. Now look at your mom's eyes with the magnifying glass." Andrea said handing me the photo and magnifying glass.
Andrea was right; five o clock shadows did appear beneath the carnival rides in the back ground of the photo I noticed. I then looked at Mom's eyes with the magnifying glass. The eyes had the pain of deep sadness within them and her smile was quite obviously faked. I then looked at Rick Sheffield's eyes under the magnifying glass and saw the same sorrow as Mom's. Mom was clutching a large black and white Panda Teddy Bear with a red ribbon around the neck.
The Panda Teddy Bear looked like something that Rick might have won at one of carnival games for Mom that day. Thinking back now, I don't ever remember the Panda Teddy Bear as a child growing up.
"There's a huge Naval Base in San Diego near the amusement park. Rick was probably going to board-ship for Vietnam within a few hours when this photo was taken. They'd probably spent all day having fun at the carnival with your Aunt Elsie but then at around five o clock, when the realization came that Rick really was leaving for a tour of duty, the emotional let-down probably landed on them like an ton of bricks. At least that's what the body language in the photo tells me." Andrea said quietly.
"I wonder if he'd asked her to marry him, that day at the carnival." I asked
"I don't know, honey, but it's time to put these away for a while now. We've got a road trip ahead of us tomorrow and right now we're going for a bike ride. Get your windbreaker and let's get out of here. "Andrea said stacking the photographs with a wearied finality.
Andrea and I did our usual bike ride, to the park and back. Neither Heather, nor any of the other venders were currently at the park since today was Sunday. It felt good to be out riding again after the three and a half day visit to Bob and Gail's house in Phoenix that week, and in all honesty, I was looking forward to some leisurely time on the road with Andrea.
When we got home, we put our bikes away and threw our sweaty clothes into the washer, but before starting the wash cycle Andrea and I showered together. After I had dried her off with a large towel, she walked into the hallway and started the washing machine without bothering to put any clothes on. It was now nine fifteen PM as we climbed into bed.
"Want to watch something?" Andrea asked.
Neither of us had a TV but Andrea did have an elaborate home theatre set up in her bedroom for DVD and she had some good movies.
"Something light, let's watch one of your Rockford Files, something with Angel Martin in it." I said
"Good idea" Andrea said kneeling down by the cabinet below the screen and looking through her collection.
Andrea and I didn't agree too often on which movies to watch, she liked chick flicks mostly, but both of us did like The Rockford Files and she had the entire collection, along with Colombo and the Frank Cannon P.I. series. We did agree on the movie "Bonnie and Clyde" and for some reason Andrea also liked the movie "Das Boot."
"You won't kick me out of bed for eating crackers, will you?" I asked Andrea as I started eating.
"Depends on how good you are in-bed, tonight, Tim" she said smiling as she pushed the 'play' button for the DVD player.
We cuddled and watched the episode which was forty five minutes long and a nice way to relax with Andrea after our airline flight, bicycle ride and the heavy movie inside the Riverside casino theatre, that afternoon.
"I wonder who the little girl in the birthday party photo, is?" Andrea suddenly asked once the DVD player was off and The Rockford Files was over.
"I don't know, Andrea, but Mom loved it when little kids had birthday parties, she was as excited as they were." I said smiling.
I then continued with "Whoever made the annotations on the back of the photographs made a mistake though, Mom was never in Asia, ever."
