I've written this unashamedly romantic story, with the help of my husband, from the male perspective. I hope it works and that you enjoy it. KD xxx.
.........
"Oh go on, please Gerry," begged my ex, Jamie (short for Jemima).
"Not a chance."
"But it'll be fun and you'll be helping to raise money for new sports equipment."
"Fun for you. I'll end up doing DIY all day or gardening."
"Don't you want our kids to do well at sports?"
Dammit, she had me there. Jasmine was county gymnastics champion and in with a shot of getting on the English national under-16 team, whilst her twin, Will, played for the under-16s at Norwich City. I sighed and said, "You're going to owe me for this."
I refer to Jamie as my ex, but we've never actually got around to getting a divorce. I suppose separated is the correct term but it's been five years now. Living in nearby villages, we'd remained friends and usually met up once a week. Custody was never an issue; we both knew that the kids needed to be with their mother. "Great, I'll let Cathy know," said Jamie, "So it's the first Friday in May, 7.30 in the village hall."
A fundraising auction. Great.
.....
I was late and the hall was packed, probably helped by the bar at the end. Yeah, get everyone pissed so they bid more. "Good evening, Gerald," said George, the vicar.
"Evening, reverend," I nodded, "Good turnout."
"Excellent, did I see your name on the auction catalogue?"
"Yeah, probably against my better judgement. Many others?"
"Five if I recall. Mostly tradesmen. A car mechanic, plumber, electrician, gardener. Can't remember the other one. Aren't you a structural engineer?"
"Uh-huh."
"Possibly not much demand for one of those in Little Cranford."
"Exactly. I can see myself clearing out a pond or painting a bedroom."
"Yes, well, it's all in a good cause. Good luck."
Good luck? As a consultant, I could earn a thousand pounds a day. I'd be better off chucking a hundred quid in the pot and going to work. Fuck, how did Jamie talk me into this?
A short rotund lady in her fifties appeared in front of me. "Catalogue?" she asked.
"Thanks."
"That'll be five pounds."
I rolled my eyes. Five quid for one sheet of A4 paper. I paid up and headed to the bar. "What'll you have?" asked Mitch who was already there getting a round in.
"Thanks, pint of best," I said.
"I see you got roped in too. We're at the end, the final lots."
"Anything interesting?"
"Depends if you're into old bicycles and out-of-date TVs. A few weekends in cottages, dinner for two at the pub, a spa day at Wroxham Manor, the usual stuff. I might bid on the Morris Minor though. It's a 1955 series two with a split screen and a gold seal engine."
"Is that good?"
"Means it's a factory reconditioned engine. I've given her the once over and she seems pretty good. Runs sweet, just some rust in the usual places. Needs about a thousand spending on her then she'll be worth about six or seven grand."
Carrying my pint, I went for a wander. Jasmine caught my eye and came running over. "Dad, dad!" she squealed, hugging me. I'd not seen her for two weeks and she'd had her hair done in braids making her more beautiful than ever. She took after her mother. We'd married too young.
"Hello gorgeous," I grinned, "What are you going to buy me?"
"Me? Dad, have you seen the saddle?"
"I've only just got here."
"It's over here. Quick, come and look."
She led me by the hand to the corner of the room. "It's a saddle," I said.
"Not just any saddle, Dad, it's a western saddle."
I looked at it. "So what's so special about a western saddle?"
"Look at it, it's like an armchair with this big pommel for roping steers."
"Steers? This is Norfolk."
"But it's beautiful, look at all the tooling, and it's in amazing condition."
"What's in doing in Norfolk? Mostly sheep here."
"I don't know. Mr Whitehouse said a lady dropped it at the school with some western riding boots."
"They any good?"
"Too small for me, but the saddle is pony-sized. Dad, it'll fit Dexter."
I had to admit, it looked very well made and barely used, if at all. On one of the side pieces was embossed 'South Texas Tack'. I got my phone out and searched. It was an 'STT Youth Roping Saddle', currently selling new at $1,995. Wow!
"You'd really use it?" I said.
"Of course."
Being a western saddle, it might go cheap. "We'll see," I said, "What lot number is it?"
"43. Oh please Dad, it can be Christmas and my birthday."
"As I said, we'll see. Where's your brother anyway?"
"Training. They've got a game tomorrow."
An hour later, with Jasmine by my side, I won the saddle with a bid of two hundred pounds. A bargain. She went crazy, hugging me and jumping up and down.
"Now you'll have to spend two hundred on Will," said Jamie behind me. I turned. She was still the hottest woman in the hall.
"Yeah, I know," I said, "Anything you're going to bid on?"
"There's a few things I've got my eye on and the car's nice. My grandmother had one of those when she was a district nurse."
"Have a word with Mitch, he's the village mechanic." As kids, the two of them had dated so I knew that if Jamie fluttered her eyelashes he'd give her good advice and probably drop out of the bidding for her. "And if you need any money..."
"I'm fine, you've always been very generous." Then she squeezed my arm and said, "You're the best ex a woman could have."
That was probably true. I earned very good money and made sure that she and the kids were well looked after.
She won the car for Β£2,100 and waved excitedly at me from across the hall.
The auctioneer was Ian, the school gym teacher and he was very good, bigging up the lots and weedling extra money out of people. By ten, plenty of drink had been consumed and we reached what he described as the slave auction. "You are bidding on six hours of manual labour," he announced, "But you have to pay for any parts. So if you bid on Dave, he's a plumber. He'll work free for six hours but you pay for any fittings etcetera. Same with the other tradesmen."
They each went for between Β£100 and Β£150. I was the last lot of the evening. There being no stage, like the others, I stood on a chair.
"The final lot of the evening, ladies and gentlemen," announced Ian, "Gerry here is a structural engineer but is very good at DIY."
"He can check out my structure anytime," shouted a female voice to laughter.
Oddly, I sold for Β£175 to a waved catalogue at the back of the room. "Sold!" shouted Ian, "For one hundred and seventy-five pounds to Jasmine Carter."
Jasmine? What the fuck? Baffled, I listened to the school's headmaster announce that the evening had raised Β£11,689. As he thanked all the donors and bidders, Jamie and Jasmine walked up, both grinning broadly.
Seeing my confusion, Jamie said, "Nothing to do with me, she used her savings."
"But I'm around your place all the time," I said, "You only have to ask if you need something doing."
"We don't need anything doing," said Jasmine, "You're coming to dinner next Friday."
"I am?"