"Well you better come back in," Amy said practically.
She tugged on my arm and I backed up into the house. Which was a good thing, because I probably would have stood out on that porch with my mouth hanging open until I was an ice statue myself.
"I'll call a taxi," I said idiotically, as if any cab driver in his right mind, and yes, even the majority who aren't, would be out on a night like this.
Amy wisely ignored me. "You can use my spare room. The ice will probably be gone by morning and if not, we'll figure something out."
I followed her back into the living room and sat down on the red couch. I realized she was right about me not going anywhere, but I wasn't sure spending the night at her house was such a good idea either. It had finally occurred to me, somewhere around my third roll and second bowl of soup, why I had been acting the way I was.
I liked her. I mean I really liked her. And if you think I'm just a shallow son of a bitch who was only interested in her now that she was good looking, think again. Because the most amazing thing was, I realized that I'd liked her for a lot longer than just the five or six hours since our visit to the mall. In some way, I think I'd been attracted to her almost from the first. I have no idea why, you understand, but still, I was pretty sure it was true. And nobody could've been more surprised than me.
I was even regretting that Amy had done the whole ugly duckling to swan routine. Not only because of Liam, but because I was worried that even if I did have a chance to make Amy change her mind about him, she'd always think I only did it because of her outside and not because I thought she was the most adorable, sweetest, smartest girl I'd ever known. Oh shit, I had it so bad. If I didn't watch myself I was going to break into a song. And trust me; that would not be a good thing.
"What would you like to do?" the voice I was fast becoming addicted to asked me.
"Whatever you want is fine with me," is what I said. If I'd been honest, I'd have told her I wanted to take her to her bedroom and make love to her until she forgot she'd ever known a guy named Liam.
"How about a movie?" Amy continued oblivious to my lecherous thoughts. "I've got a DVD player."
I perked up at that. I'd wanted one of those puppies since they'd come on the market, but I hadn't gotten around to buying one because my TV was so old it didn't even have a cable jack and I didn't think the old girl would survive the shock of being plugged into something that had been manufactured in the last decade.
Besides, a movie was safe. At least I'd be staring at something besides Amy, thinking of car chases rather than trying to come up with ways to get her out of those tight jeans.
"That sounds great."
"Okay, it's in here." Amy led the way into another room at the back of the flat.
"Wow!" I looked around at the media room of my dreams.
"Yeah, I know, it's little much," she laughed nervously. "I've always been sort of a movie nut and I've been collecting them for years."
She wasn't kidding. I've been in a Blockbuster's that wasn't this loaded. The room had probably been a bedroom at one time, but Amy had put up shelves on every wall. They were packed with VHS tapes, floor to ceiling. The only spaces that weren't filled were the one window, which was covered in a heavy drape, and the one wall, where she had a 36"-inch Sony, two VCR's, the aforementioned DVD player, speakers and enough stereo equipment to give a teenaged boy a hard on.
"Wow," I repeated.
"It's really not that big a deal. I get most of the movies used," she continued to protest.
I walked over to one of the shelves and started to browse. She had them all indexed both alphabetically and by genre. The section I was looking at was a special one for Collector sets. I saw all the Die Hard's, the Godfather series and the Star Wars Trilogy. Then I saw something that made my heart leap: Mystery Science Theater 3000 - at least 10 tapes. If I hadn't had a crush on Amy before, this would have done the trick.
"Oh wow!"
"Stop saying that. You're making me feel like a freak."
"Sorry." I grabbed the tape in front of me. "Could we watch this?"
Amy leaned over and looked at the title. "Manos, the Hands of Fate?"
I nodded dumbly and tried not to sink to my knees to beg. Not that I wouldn't do it if I needed too, but I was hoping groveling wouldn't be necessary.
"Sure. Do you want to watch the tape or the DVD?"
"You have both?" My voice broke in joy.
Amy nodded and went to the closet next to her entertainment center. She opened it and turned on a light. The closet was a double and like the walls around it, it was packed with movies, only this time they were all DVDs. I had to bite my lip from saying wow again. No way did I want to piss off the woman who owned a DVD copy of Manos, the Hands of Fate, the best/worst movie of all time.
Amy reached into the closet and like a conjurer, pulled out her copy of the classic. She walked over to the player and popped it in. I just stood there with my mouth open until she turned back to me and motioned that I should sit down.
I looked around the room and for the first time noticed there was furniture in it. Well some anyway, a small scarred coffee table that was barely big enough for the TV Guide and six remote controls it had resting on it, and a huge plaid couch that had to have been made for an earlier race of people who's average height must have been around eight feet. It was old and shabby and I immediately felt like I was home. I did wonder however, why Amy would pick something so big for her tiny body. This thing was so huge I thought I'd have a hard time making my feet touch the ground; she must have felt like a pygmy in it.
"I know it's weird." She saw the way I was looking at the sofa. "But it has its compensations."
Amy moved to one side of the stuffed behemoth and leaned over the side. There was a groan and, on one side, the front panel pulled up as the back angled down. It was a recliner.
"It's really just three recliners hooked up together."
"Oh wo... Gee, that's great."
I went to the other side and found the handle. Then I settled myself into the vast cushions and pulled the lever. With a thwack, I was transported to an astronaut's take- off position. Heaven, here we come.
Amy dimmed the lights to a hazy glow and expertly pushed a couple hundred buttons on three or four remotes until the TV got that blue screen we all know means a movie is on the way.
Amy sat down on the far end of the couch. She didn't take a flight position herself, but instead, curled up with her feet tucked under her butt. It was a good thing the couch/recliner was about eight feet wide because I had this almost irresistible urge to stroke her head to see if she'd purr.
After going through all the usual intro bullshit, the familiar MST3K space cadets showed up on the screen and the movie started. It was just as awful and stupid as I remembered it. I laughed my ass off. I even forgot about my new -found attraction for Amy. Well, that is until a half hour into it. She suddenly remembered she was suppose to be a hostess.
"Do you want a beer or pop or anything?" She asked.
"Nope, I'm fine."
"Sure? I could make some popcorn while I'm at it."
Hmm, popcorn... I'll bet she used real butter too. "Well, if you're really sure you want to fool with it," I gave in, though I was still so stuffed from dinner, I had no idea how I was going to pack in anything else. But you always have room for popcorn, or wait, that's Jell-O, isn't it?
Amy got up and started out of the room. I looked down at the remotes and tried to figure out which one would stop the movie. There were so many on the table I wasn't sure what was what. For all I knew there was one there that would start a chain reaction nuclear meltdown that would destroy the world. I got up and followed her out to the kitchen.
She seemed surprised to see me. I figured that out when she screamed as she turned around and saw me standing behind her.
"Charlie!"