Almost

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" Dr. Seuss

By danoctober

*****

Brian slid out of the booth to stand and I followed. For a split second the smile on his face thinned out before reappearing. Oh crap! I knew this was a bad idea. Dammit to hell! Time to turn around and face the moment of truth. I took a deep breath, smiled at Brian and turned towards the entrance and there she was...

Fuck me in the heart with a knife.

Standing next to Cheryl was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. At least to me she was. I don't go to church much anymore, but under my breath, I'm pretty sure the first words off my lips were, "Thank you Lord for which I am about to receive!".

It must be the same feeling people get when they win the lottery. That perfect blend of, "Is this really happening?!!" and the joy of knowing it's really is. Ka-Pow! And for a brief moment I was under the impression the universe was about to reveal some celestial plan.

Either that or I was losing my mind.

Cheryl was smiling knowingly at me with a, "I told you could trust me" expression. Turning to Brian he had a somewhat perplexed look on his face. He was silently communicating with Cheryl the way couples do after they've known each other a while. Cheryl smiled lovingly at Brian but there was something she was holding back. Whatever Brian was curious to ask would have to wait for until later. For now, Cheryl was basking in the moment with the pleasure of my apparent reaction to her friend. How could I ever thank Cheryl for this date and this vision of loveliness before me?

This angel in the garden of earthly delights.

Wait a moment! Reality check...ok...let's get a grip here.

Wow! So many random thoughts were bursting from my subconscious to my conscious mind.

Maybe there is a mathematical formula that explains why people are attracted to one another. Has to be! Because there must be some logical reason for the way I was feeling. I think I was already in love with my blind date.

And here's the deal. Even though she has this incredible body, I couldn't stop gazing upon her face. That is a face I could spend the rest of my life looking at. I wonder if she would make a good wife? Could she make a nice home? She'd have to like children. All women like children, right?

Oh shit! I was really losing it...

Here's the thing about how I was feeling: It's hard to put into words.

I was elated and deflated at the same time. In my imagination my heart was skipping beats. My emotions were all over the place from agony to ecstasy.

The agony was having enough sense to know this woman was out my league. Way out of my league! What the was Cheryl thinking?

The ecstasy was this yearning that came out of nowhere. Love at first sight?

Bullshit!

If I heard that from you I would have called bullshit. Why? Because if what I was feeling was love at first sight, then this was a very dangerous state mind. A person could end up being reckless and do something pretty stupid.

But man, oh man... the yearning I felt at that moment came straight from somewhere deep down inside and it was doing a number on my head. I wanted her...to know her...to have her. It was one of those rare moments in life where the universe is speaking but you can't quite make out the message. Was love at first sight something real?

Beats me. Besides who in the hell wants to get in a situation where you can't bear to be without somebody's company? But I could see that as a definite possibility...

Fuck me...

Samantha Harrisonson was perfect. Five feet nine, brown hair, brown eyes, with a kind of understated beauty and a face cut right from the pages of a men's magazine. Her skin was completely flawless. At least what I could see. When she smiled I couldn't help but smile back. Being in her company made me feel that I was somebody. To me she was perfection.

Motherfucker! Send up the white flag already, I surrender.

Brian and I moved our drinks to a table, we pulled out the chairs for the ladies and sat ourselves down. Straight across from me Brian sat wearing a straight face while his eyes were broadcasting a sarcastic smile. He was happy for me. I think. I looked at Brian and briefly returned the smile.

I then turned to face Cheryl to my left. She looked simply radiant. At that moment, I felt a genuine love for her. Don't make this something dirty in your mind wingnut. It was the kind of love I felt for my sister Deb. This was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. Better than a birthday. Better than Christmas. I felt like I had just won the lottery and Cheryl paid for the ticket.

Damn!

We made introductions, shared small talk, ordered and enjoyed our meals. Conversation was going around the table but I was hearing a lot of static. Between trying my best to be what I considered, "charming" and thinking of something, "clever" to say I felt more foolish than anything else.

People always said, "Dan, just be yourself." Who the hell was I anyway? Brian was right. I was going to fuck this up.

Around 10:30 or 11:00 Brian and Cheryl said they were taking off and for the first time I found myself alone with Samantha. So far, the evening had gone perfect because I could count on Cheryl and Brian to fill in the gap when the conversation stalled. But now we were alone I froze up and all I could do was smile like a stupid fool. Samantha gave me a curious look and asked, " Do you always smile so much?"

"When I see a nice face like yours it happens."

"I see..." she replied, "and that's all?"

"And that's all?" I wasn't good that this kind of conversation. Now what I going to say? I panicked trying to think of something clever to say.

Damn it! Then I screwed the pooch...

I don't know why I said it but it just came out before I could stop. "Samantha, do you believe in love at first sight?"

Immediately as I finished I felt my face flush but looked directly in her eyes and held my most earnest expression. She didn't say anything but her face clouded. Oh shit! Oh fuck!

Suddenly I was very cognizant of how stupid that must have sounded and tried make a joke out of it. But Samantha wasn't laughing. Kill me now Lord.

Now I really felt terrible. Sounds stupid now, but I was feeling for once in my life that somehow all the stars in universe were in their proper place tonight and she might feel a bit of same towards me too. Fuck it! (pardon my language but I was losing it)

My brain wasn't speaking. I was speaking from my heart. My stupid heart. Stupid...Stupid... STUPID! I was totally infatuated with Samantha but it appeared she didn't feel the same way.

Things became seriously awkward from then on and with that, my smile dropped from my face. Now I was too mortified to even ask for her phone number. Time to come up with a quick exit strategy. Thank goodness, the waitress came up at that moment and asked if there was anything else. I looked across to Samantha and she shook her head no. I just wanted to get the out of there and asked for the check.

Not really expecting a positive response and just trying to wrap up the evening with a bit polite conversation more than anything else, I asked her if she would like to go out again. She looked directly into my eyes and smiled a bit as she considered it for a moment.

"Seriously?"

Fuck me! I told you I had no game. I could see in her face I was a joke. I didn't need this humiliation. I tried and failed. I get it. I gave up right then. All that was left to do was to get out with what little dignity I still had. The end...

"Dan, how are you planning to contact me?"

I heard the words she spoke quite clearly but they didn't make sense. I drew a blank... what was I missing here? She looked so unhappy with me just a moment ago. "Well, I thought...ahem", clearing my throat and staring down at my hands on the table.

"Yes..."

"Well, I ..."

Looking back up... OMG... she looks so beautiful. I want her. Not to fuck. No, that's not right, of course I want to fuck her too. That doesn't sound right either. I want to cherish her. I want to take care of her and love her. This was screwing me up. These stupid overwhelming feelings of affection were messing with my head big time. What the hell did they put in these drinks anyway?

"Yes?"

"It's just..."

Then it hit me, everyone needs someone in their life as much as a roof over their head, food to eat, a place to work, a place to play, and even a place to pray. How could anyone settle for less once they experienced it?

No matter which way things went tonight, I knew at that moment the rest of my life I would always be looking for this emotional connection with someone.

She looked at me questioningly and finally said, "HELLO... DAN? Do you understand... the words... that are coming out of my mouth? How... are YOU... planning to... contact ME?"

Samantha carefully examined my face a moment as she shook her head in mild amusement only put up her hand to stop me before another word could be spoken. She pulled out her cell phone and asked for my number. The next thing I felt was my phone vibrating from Samantha's text. I looked down at my phone and the text read, "Close your mouth, you look silly" ;-)

I closed my mouth and looked up again. I had her phone number and like a rocket from a bottle shot free I was soaring. Looking back now I wish I had deleted that text right then. Fuck the Universe...

---------

As Brian and Cheryl exited the pub he looked down at her and finally spoke what was on his mind for the first time that night, "Cheryl, really? Samantha Harrison? Really? What did Dan do to you that you would set him up with that skank?"

Cheryl suddenly stopped walking on the way to Brian's car and looked up. She was not amused.

"Brian that's not the least bit funny. Seriously, you're spoiling my evening and are making me quite angry. Why are you being so judgmental? Everyone makes mistakes in life and Samantha is no different."

"Cheryl my love, you be serious. Having sex with half the guys at a high school party one night is not a mistake. That pretty much IS the definition of the word "skank". I love you to death but just because Samantha is a friend of yours from high school doesn't change a thing. Everyone knows her reputation. She earned it herself"

"Brian what do you know but rumors?"

"I heard enough..."

Cheryl considered a moment, "Brian you're studying to be a lawyer, right? All those rumors are just hearsay. Those same rumors wouldn't hold up in a court of law. And I get it. You're looking out for Dan, but I am too. Danny is like the little brother I never had. I would never have introduced them if I thought for a moment that Dan would be hurt in anyway. Besides, did you see the way he was looking at her tonight? He was making such cute little puppy dog eyes for her all night. It was just too sweet. "

"Yeah, I thought I was going puke up a perfectly good meal back there."

"Brian admit it, they make a cute couple!", Cheryl said firmly as she linked her arm in his.

They continued walking in silence to Brian's car and once seated Brian finally replied, "Cheryl honey, you know I love you more than anything in the world...but..."

"But what Brian? Samantha is not a bad person. She's not evil. She got involved with some things way back then she regrets. We were all kids at that time. She certainly doesn't deserve some stupid adolescent nonsense that happened during high school define who she is now. Whatever happened, that happened 7 or 8 years ago. I was a friend of Samantha's then and I am a friend of hers now. She is a good person and Dan is her perfect match even if you doesn't realize it now. But she will. I know what I'm doing by introducing them together. Trust me sweetie, ok?"

"It's not you I don't trust Cheryl...please... just hear me out a moment." Pausing to reflect a moment Brian continued, "We both know her family has mega bucks and their influence is...phew... mind boggling. It's just...how do I put this ... Dan... is not so clever a fellow. He's a simple guy and he's a bit naive with the ways of the world. Tonight is the first time I have ever seen him with a girl. Samantha Harrison could have any guy she wanted. She's the same age as you and me. Why should she be interested in Dan? They certainly don't run around in the same social circles. And Dan...hell...he may just be socially retarded. "

Cheryl laughed at the wisdom of the man she loved, "Oh Brian...really? Socially retarded? Is that your professional medical opinion honey?"

"Oh, come on Cheryl.. you know what I mean. You should have seen him this afternoon. I thought he was going to piss himself before we got to the pub. And you saw him tonight. He sat there most of the night smiling like a jackass mooning over her. Honestly, you'd think he'd never been on a date before."

"Brian, you want honesty? Then honestly, how can you be so negative about those two as a couple? And I HONESTLY believe that Dan and Samantha are a perfect match. I just know it! "

Brian looked over at the love of his life for a moment before speaking. "Sure...thanks to you sweetheart. But Cheryl... if this flop's, I don't want this to mess anything up between Dan and me. I like Dan, he's a true friend, and he's good people. I don't want anything bad happening to him. I just hope this is not a mistake."

Cheryl leaned over and put her arms around Brian hugged his neck and kissed his cheek, "That's *kiss* why *kiss* I *kiss* love *kiss* you *kiss* so *kiss* much! You're just watching out for your friend, but honey...trust me with this...ok?"

Brian pulled Cheryl into his lap and looking deeply into her eyes and quickly kissed her lips before continuing, "Yea ok. But keep in mind you didn't want to move in with me before we're married because of your parents. So keep in mind it's not easy finding a good roommate. Anyway, those suits came by apartment again earlier today to speak with Dan. I don't think they would be happy if Dan was unhappy."

"Same ones..."

"Yeah...same ones that have been visiting since Dan moved in."

"Have you ever asked Dan what the deal is with those guys? Are they Danny's friends?"

"Cheryl, are kidding me?"

Well, do you think Danny's in trouble with the law or anything illegal? "

"Cheryl, you've seen the men in black. I can't see those guys ever being "friends" of Dan's. Another thing "FYI", that's not the way guys talk to each other. If a guy has a problem he'll tell you, if not, he won't. That's it. It's not my business. Like it's not my business to snoop around to find out who Dan's family and friends are. And believe me, those two guys are neither. The only thing Dan has ever mentioned is they have something to do with his studies. When they come and I'm there, they go straight to Dan's room to talk and then leave later. And never more that 10 or 15 minutes. They're always formal and polite. Anyway, if Dan had something to say to me he would. If it was my guess, it's probably some software business thing. Who knows? Definitely not anything illegal, but I wouldn't want to get on their bad side. Anyway, Dan is too straight of an arrow to be involved anything illegal. "

"Dan is studying software design and what again?"

"Theoretical and Applied Mathematics. Something like that. It's beyond me. I don't talk about my studies and Dan doesn't talk about his. That shit is boring after the end of the day."

Thinking back fondly for a moment, "Dan and I only shared one class together. And that was, "Movie Criticism". Now that was a fun elective. All we did was watch movies during class. "

They sat a while longer just enjoying being together before Cheryl scooted back to her seat and Brian started the car. Turning his head around to back out he added, "Cheryl sweetie... I just hope your right about Samantha."

--------

Dan held the door for Samantha as they left the pub and walked to her car. Samantha turned and beeped the car door open before turning around to look again a Dan.

This had been a very strange blind date. In fact, it was the only blind date she had ever been on. The only reason she decided to go was because Cheryl asked. That and she didn't have anything else planned that evening.

Walking in that pub earlier that evening she felt the nervous energy of, "the surprise of meeting someone you know nothing about". But when he stood up to turn around from the booth he was sitting, she felt her face flush. O-M-G! One thing for sure, Cheryl wasn't kidding about him looking like Jake Gyllenhaal. Damn he was fine. So far this "blind date" thing was starting off pretty good. She leaned over to Cheryl and under her breath with a smile on her face chided her friend, "Cheryl! Where have been hiding him and why haven't you introduced us before tonight? I thought we were friends."

Yet, there was something a bit off all night about her "blind date" and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. That silly smile he wore all evening was amusing. And infectious. She found herself smiling back at him like a reflection in a mirror.

Still, Samantha was used to dating certain type of guys. Guys who had access to money (mostly from their parents like her) and lots of it. And because of her family background she dated guys from the same social circles her family ran with. It was expected of her. So, when Cheryl approached her about meeting some roommate of her boyfriend she was a bit surprised. Cheryl knew her quite well and the kind of guys she liked better than anyone. They had been friends since high school. But her boyfriend's roommate? Who was his family? Did they have money? Maybe they were in politics? Whatever. Cheryl was the one true good friend she would trust not to lead her down the wrong path. Anyway, when she asked for details Cheryl gave her that nonsense, "The whole point of a blind date is that you don't know anything about the other person. It's a surprise." If anything, if it didn't work out it would be Cheryl to the rescue. Cheryl was always there for her.

It was because of this and the fact she had nothing special planned Samantha agreed to go out. His bullshit line about, "love of first sight" that evening was the lamest line anyone had ever given her. And Samantha had heard them all. She had enjoyed the evening up to that point. OMG kill me she thought at that point. What kind of nonsense was he trying to feed her anyway? It reminded her of the bullshit from type of guys she never wanted to be around again. It was really irritating on her until she disapprovingly looked up to his face. That wiped the stupid grin off his face so fast she almost laughed. But the sad expression on his face that followed was even worst. It was pathetic and too funny for words. Was this guy for real?

Still, another first tonight. She NEVER gave a guy her cell phone number after meeting the first time. So why did she give him her number? Because she could block any incoming calls later? Maybe? Now she was standing next to her car waiting for Dan to make some kind of move. She decided to see what kind of guy he was.

Gentle but Firm? Caring but Forceful? Bold and Beautiful?

Dan just stood there looking a bit lost about what to do next.

A smile slowly spread across her face. What's with this guy? Taking the initiative, Samantha moved close to Dan and looked up into his eyes. He looked so sadly uncertain what to do. She wanted to laugh out loud but held it in behind her smile.

OK, she decided to have a little fun with him. When she reached out and touch his arm, did he actually flinch a little? OMG! This was too much! Fine, a bit more fun. She moved both her hands to his chest, tiptoed up, closed her eyes waiting for a kiss. Still nothing.