Colin: You should come over, I'll make you dinner
It was exactly three Friday's since I'd last seen him. I felt like it had been too long and not long enough. The part of me that hurt knew that staying home was the best bet. While the side of me who hadn't received rides home from knights in shining armour, random unexpected gifts, or letters from mysterious men was lonely. So very, ridiculously lonely.
I didn't answer, me and my bottle and a half of wine just showed up at his door twenty minutes later. I'd given myself enough time to brush my hair, touch up my make up and put on another dress no other man had seen.
He didn't smile when he saw me, what I got was so much better. The look that burst to life in his grey eyes when he saw my flowy sapphire blue dress with it's satin slip and sheer fabric overlay, threatened to light me on fire. His breathing was carefully controlled, each inhale measured.
"Whose dress is that?" He asked the question before I even stepped in the door.
"Well," I put the hand with the full bottle of wine on my hip and said, "I bought it after Calum and I've only had one date since then."
"It's my dress." His eyes scraped down my body and desire flooded every pore in my body. I was playing with fire. "You've had two dates" He made a point of reminding me. "You had two dates that night."
I held up the half empty bottle of wine and said, "Are you going to invite me in and offer me a glass or am I finishing this here?"
His mouth bent up into a half smile and he stepped back. "Come in, get me drunk, and have your wicked way with me."
I hesitated and me and my partially drunk self shocked us both when I said, "What if I just wanted to fall asleep with my head on your shoulder?"
"That we can do," he said. "Come on Allie, come get me drunk."
Turns out he had a bottle of wine too, that and a couple of coolers and we were lucky I got as far as his bed, let alone home. Colin tossed me one of his shirts and told me to change and I shocked the hell out of him when I asked him to undo the zipper and slid that and my bra off right in front of him. I tried to drag him into bed but he shook his head.
"No baby, I need a shower." He pried my fingers off his shirt and backed his way into the bathroom.
"You can't possibly smell that bad," my drunk self said. Flopping backwards I let my hands fall up above my head and Colin groaned.
"If you're spending the night in my bed dressed like that I need a cold shower or being a gentleman is going to be too hard."
That pulled me out of my drunken haze a little. "Thank you," I said, "that means a lot."
"Don't go anywhere." I watched him undo his buttons as he stepped around the corner. Less than ten minutes later he was cold and damp crawling into bed beside me. "Still with me?"
"Barely." My smile bled into my voice. "You took forever."
"Sorry baby, the image of you stripping down to next to nothing is permanently burned in my brain. That's more than a guy can handle." He pulled me in so I was lying up against his side and pulled my hand up over his heart.
"Should I go?" My question was a whisper on the air between us and as soon as I said it, Colin was shaking his head.
"Please stay. It's been a long time since I shared a bed with someone. I want this." Colin kissed the top of my head. "I want this with you Allie."
I fell asleep wrapped around him feeling better than I had in ages and woke up feeling worse than ever.
"Allie, wake up." The frantic tone in Colin's voice had me sitting up immediately. "You have to go."
"What?!?" There was no processing that this early in the morning. "Are you serious?"
"Calum's coming, he'll ring the buzzer any minute, you have to get dressed." He was tossing my bra and dress to me then he picked up my shoes and motioned for me to hurry.
I didn't say a word, I was too mad, too hurt. Instead I got dressed grabbed my shoes and walked to the door. He tried to stop me and pull me in for a kiss but I put up a hand to stop him
"Not happening buddy. You don't get to throw me out seconds after waking me up and think we're fine. We're so far from fine its in another zip code. Go to hell Colin."
"Allie, wait."
I flipped him the bird just as his buzzer went off. I rode the elevator up in silence and fell back against the apartment door when it closed behind me. Why me? What did I do to deserve this special kind of hell?
I put on a pot of coffee, took a shower, and changed into leggings and my favourite sweater. Then, with my cup of steaming caffeine, I settled down on the couch to assess my life. What the hell was I doing? This was insanity and the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over expecting something different.
This thing with Colin was going no where, I knew it, so why did I open myself up? Why go for drinks? Why go over for dinner? Why stay the night? The answer was simple. He told me he wanted to be with me and I thought that one day he might want to be with me more than he was afraid of what Calum thought.
He didn't, I told my self, he wouldn't and I just needed to get over it. That was easier said than done, I cried for a solid hour then kicked myself out of my pity party, grabbed all my laundry and my bedding and headed down stairs.
My luck just kept getting better, on Colin's floor the door opened and Calum walked in. He acted like nothing had happened between us and flashed one a megawatt smile. Holding the door open he said, "Hi Allie."
Colin's smile fell the second he heard that and a frown formed when he saw me. He got in with a deep breath and pretended not to look at me.
"You're looking good," my ex said.
"Thank you."
"Did you get my flower?" Calum got both of our undivided attention with that.
"What?" my shock was audible and I was suddenly regretting not lighting the flower on fire. "Why did you send me a flower?"
He gave me a sad smile. "I felt bad. Things went south between us. I knew you'd be alone. It was the least I could do."
"You cheated on me, it didn't go south! I don't want anything from you."
