My friend Jesse and I have been friends for going on eight years. We met online when we were only 14. It started out as friendly chat buddies, but later turned into dirty e-mails, webcam, and letters. I can honestly say that even though we lived in two different states, that I truly felt that I had fallen for him. I wanted to meet him face to face more than anything, but I was never sure how he felt about the situation.
Two years ago, on December 22, I asked Jesse to come visit me for Christmas. I was going to be in a play that my grandmother's church put on every year, and wanted him to be there. "I'm going to be Santa's helper in this year's play." I told Jesse that night on the phone, "It would be nice if you could make it up here to see it."
I wanted more than anything for Jesse to come visit. My body ached and yearned to feel his touch, to taste him, and so much more. I thought that this would be the perfect opportunity; we were both out of school for Christmas break.
"I will try my best Heather, but I am not making any promises that I can't keep." Jesse's voice sounded faint; almost a whisper.
"OK..." I felt like I was pressuring him by the sound of his voice, but I just sighed and said, "Well...my play starts at 6:00 pm on the 24th...just in case you could make it." With that I hung up the phone and started with my nightly routines.
* * *
Two days passed, and I was beginning to worry. I hadn't heard from Jesse, and assumed he was upset with me. My feelings were hurt, but my grandmother was counting on me. I didn't go to church, so this was her reasoning for me making it up to her. I did it, only because I loved her and wanted her to be happy.
That night I was back stage with my best friend Amanda. I didn't want her to know that I was upset about Jesse. She thought he was a lost cause. We were getting ready when she asked, "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I was a little startled by the question. I hadn't realized that I was off in my own little world.
"Sure?" Amanda looked at me quizzically.
"Yes!" I gave Amanda my best cheesy smile, and hoped she would leave it alone.
She did fall for the fake smile because she went off rambling about her new army boyfriend. I was happy for her, but at the moment I couldn't stop thinking about Jesse. I missed his deep voice, the way his whisper sent chills down my spine, and the way I couldn't help but get excited when a text was received.
We stood there at the mirrors getting ready for the show. After the make-up was applied, and the costumes were in order, I stood back to examine myself in the mirror. I was wearing a Santa had that was pinned to my dark hair with bobby pins. My short hair was curled, and fell sweeping my neck just below my ears. I felt stupid yet sexy in the costume, which consisted of a red velvet dress that stopped mid-thigh. It had white fluff around the edges, black buttons down the front, and a wide black belt around my waist. The neck line scooped down to where my round breasts peaked out the top. I had to wear green tights and little elf shoes. Like I said, stupid, yet sexy; I felt sexy.
Once on stage I hate the fact that I had to dance. For my petite body frame, my DD breasts just didn't match. They bounced; it was inevitable. I felt self conscious but I knew this play would be over soon.
After an hour and a half of dancing and singing, I was finally free to go back stage. Amanda was constantly bouncing by my side (please understand that Amanda is a bit strange, and always hyper). She twirled my curls around her fingers and giggled.
"Can I help you?" I asked with a smile.
"Only if you let me undress you with my teeth." She giggled and finally calmed down.
