Seven o'clock, and the early spring twilight was descending on Wichita. Only last week the weather had people shivering in their jackets. But the south wind had come around and was giving them a taste of the warm months to come. It wouldn't be long before the drab and bulky clothing gave way to bright colors and bare arms. The convertible tops would come down, the boats come out of storage. It would be a season of new loves.
A handsome, well-dressed man waited patiently at his front window and watched the shadows lengthen. He was waiting on an old love, not a new one. He was waiting on the a woman he truly loved, even now. He loved her and he lost her. Could he win her back again? Things were looking up. Last night they kissed like lovers in the restaurant's darkened parking lot. Tonight she was coming to his apartment. Yes, things were looking up.
But if anyone could screw things up it was Paul Norwood. He once had a woman's love, a love some people might only dream about. But he loved himself more, as it happened, and also the nose candy. Eileen put up with his neglect for a long time before she finally called it quits. She had the children to worry about. Like the old cliche, Paul didn't appreciate what he had until he lost it. Love? Family? Nothing was more important than that.
He shook off these bad memories. Dwelling on his failures would bring him down and he needed to be up. He had been working on himself for years and was very familiar with his own triggers. He had been working on Eileen for months, and if he dropped the ball this time he doubted there would be another chance. He needed to lighten up. He was looking good, feeling good. The table was set, the wine chilled, and through the window he could see the headlights of Eileen's minivan.
His breath caught as she walked up to the door. She was definitely dressed for success. Her teased black hair surrounded her head like a mane. The black cocktail dress complimented her slender figure. A measure of smooth pale thigh showed above her knee-high stockings. Her hips twitched side to side in the awkward but endearing gait she had when she wore heels. Yes, things were looking up. When he greeted her at the door he saw she was wearing makeup, which she didn't usually do. The candy red of her lips and the blue of her eyes lent a dash of color to her ensemble.
"You look... fantastic."
"So do you. So do you." She pulled the silk tie out of his jacket and let it run through her hands. "I can't remember the last time I've seen this suit."
"I'm surprised it fit. I've been hitting the gym."
She gave him an obligatory squeeze of the biceps and seemed sufficiently impressed. Paul hoped he didn't sound vain. That didn't look good on him.
She stood with him by the stove while he put the filets on to sear. He showed her the bottle of wine and poured out two glasses.
"Roma Wine? You spoil me."
"It's a special occasion," he replied, raising his glass in toast. He only took a little sip. Best to stay in control.
"What's the occasion?"
"Well, this month would have been our anniversary... if we were still married."
"True. True."
"And we've been dating for exactly five months."
"Also true."
"And you're here, in my apartment, for the very first time."
"Yesss... " Eileen's tone changed. "Paul, I'm glad to be here with you. But I need to ask you something. What you expect to happen here tonight, what if it doesn't happen?"
The flame of hope in Paul's breast flickered and dimmed. His first impulse was to lie, deny having any expectations. She would see right through that. Even if she didn't, that was no way to live. "I would be disappointed, I admit. But I would remind myself that you don't owe me anything. And that the pleasure of your company tonight is a gift all by itself."
"That's a good answer. What if it did happen, but just once, and we still weren't together?" While he was thinking about that she added, "I'm not saying what will or won't happen. I just want to make sure I'm not walking through a minefield tonight."
Paul's flame of hope flickered back to life. "I would be frustrated, yes. But I would channel that frustration in positive ways, ways that will help me to achieve my goals, not sabotage them. I think if you're here with me it means my goals are not unattainable."
"Oh, they're attainable." She sipped from her glass, smiling coquettishly.
He turned the filets over. They smelled great. Paul had set their places together at a corner of the table. He wanted to be close to her, to look in her eyes. He hoped their hands might touch. He ate as lightly as he drank. They talked about the kids, about their jobs, about mutual friends. They talked about everything except what Paul really wanted to talk about, which was how they clung to each other the night before, how reluctantly they parted, finally.
*****
After dinner they moved to the living room. Eileen made herself at home on the couch while Paul put on some music.
"You listen to classical now?" She asked.
