A Special Ind of Love

I had no idea why, but I wanted to visit Billy—or Detective Andrews. I put on the most basic of white girl clothes: a flannel-patterned shirt over a white tank top, black leggings, and a pair on ankle-high boots. I quickly tied my hair into a messy bun and put on a thin layer of makeup before leaving my house around 10:30 in the morning. It was a chilly day, but it wasn't freezing. Gray clouds covered the sky. A slight breeze would occasionally go by. It was perfect weather for a couple to cuddle to, and yet my boyfriend was working on a day that was supposed to be his day off.

Then I knew why I wanted to visit him. I wanted to give him some...

encouragement

to work faster so he could be off sooner. I had no idea how it worked if he got called in. Would he have the same hours as a regular shift? Would he be able to go after what he needed to do was done? What

was it

that he needed to do?

I hated myself for being so goddamn selfish. I hated that I was thinking of Billy like he was my property—something that belonged to me only. But the night before, when I got Billy to orgasm, I felt something...powerful. For so long, I had let boys take control of

me,

but Billy was so different from any other guy I'd dated. The night before, I had control, and, dammit, I wanted to feel that power of control again.

I wanted to be his only source of pleasure. I wanted to wrap myself around him again, with my hand ensnared around his throbbing cock. I wanted to have my lips right next to his ear, hissing into it and causing goosebumps to shoot out of his skin. And most importantly, I wanted his dick inside me. My mouth, my pussy, even my asshole—it didn't matter. The thought of me being the girl to take his virginity thrilled me. I was already his first kiss, and I had just given him his first handjob, so why stop there?

I also loved how sweet he was to me. I remembered on my birthday a couple months before when he got me a present I hadn't even directly asked him for. I had talked to him about it, but I never said, "By the way, if you could get me that for my birthday, that'd be great." I remembered making out with him that night, holding him against the wall and covering his face in lipstick stains.

The thought of domination crossed my mind, and my face cringed. I would do anything like that with Billy. I knew he wouldn't like that. He was too sensitive. It would bring back memories of him being neglected by his mother. I didn't want to hurt him for my pleasure. I didn't want him calling me his queen or his mistress. As I stopped at an intersection, a mental picture of a bound-up Billy flashed in my mind, and I scrunched up my face as if I had just eaten a sour candy. If I was a domme, if I made him my "slave," Billy would only love me out of fear.

I took a few deep breaths to emerge from that dark place in my mind. I pulled into the parking lot of the police station. I looked in the mirror and ran my fingers through my hair, fluffing it up.

Inside the police station was a large office that was bustling with activity. I felt a little out of my element there. I scanned the room carefully as I looked for Billy. I spotted him sitting at a desk at the northwest corner of the room. I began strutting over to him, a big grin on my face. Several men looked over at me as I walked past. I even heard someone whistle at me. I paid no attention to them and kept my eyes on Billy. His desk was completely covered in papers. Sitting on the other side of him was a black-haired man wearing a suit and tie. He looked at me, stunned, then at Billy, then back at me. He cleared his throat. Billy looked at him as he gestured toward me. Billy looked at me, surprised, to say the least.

"H-hey," he said. "I... Uh..."

"Hello,

detective,

" I said in a sultry voice. I bent down and kissed him on the cheek.

Billy was still blubbering. "I... I-I, uh... Th...this is my partner," he said, gesturing at the man sitting in front of him, "Detective Pedersen."

"You can call me Harry," Billy's partner said as he extended his hand.

"Nice to meet you," I said as I took his hand and shook it. "I'm Ali, Billy's girlfriend."

"So

you're

Ali..." Harry said as he leaned back and sized me up. "Damn. Billy talks about you a lot."

"Oh, really?" I said as I put my hands on Billy's shoulders. "Like what?"

"Oh, you know, crap about how beautiful you are and how

perfect

you are and how nice you are to him."

Billy blushed as his eyes went to the floor.

"To be perfectly honest, I thought he was lying," Harry continued. "I kept thinking, 'No way could

Andrews

have such a perfect relationship,' but then, bada-bing, here you are."

"Aw, Billy," I said as I gave my boyfriend's shoulders a quick squeeze.

He looked up at me. "Is there something wrong?" he asked. "Did something happen? What's going on? What're you doing here?"

"Nothing's wrong," I told him. With a smooth movement, I took my hands off him and sat on his lap. I would've straddled him, but I didn't want to get him in trouble. I smiled at him as my right shoulder pushed against his left shoulder.

"Then..." he said, before stammering again. "Th-then, uh... What's—"

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about this morning."

"Huh?" Harry piped up. "What happened this morning?"

"I-it's okay," Billy said, his face mere inches from mine. "I mean... I understand that you were looking forward to, uh, today, and I just kinda

left

you."

"No, Billy," I said. "I shouldn't have gotten mad. I shouldn't have been such an ass towards you."

"The hell are you guys

talking about?

" asked Harry.

I gave Billy a kiss on the forehead. I stayed there for a moment, as if I was transferring my love from my lips to his skin. I let go and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Get home soon, okay?" I said. "I miss you. Text me when you get off, all right?"

"I'll call you," he said, a cute smile forming on his face.

"Okay." We gave each other a peck on the lips. I ruffled his hair as I got up. "See you. I love you."

"I love you too," Billy said.

As soon as I started walking away, I heard Harry say, "Do hot chicks dig guys with autism? 'Cause if so, I want to be autistic."

"No, you don't, Harry," Billy said.

"I do."

"You don't."

As I got back in my car, I covered my face with hands. I couldn't believe how

desperate

I looked to him. I groaned as I thought of all the shit Billy was going to get. A pretty girl wearing a mildly provocative outfit coming in and smothering him—I knew the entire department wouldn't let him live that one down. I started my car, ready to get out of there as quickly as possible.

When I got home, I plopped down on the couch and turned on Netflix, just like many other girls in their twenties. I groaned some more as I remembered that Billy and I shared the same account. I was syphoning off him! I was leeching him! I chose something on my queue—I didn't know what—that could play in the background as I wallowed in my misery.

I remembered all of my thoughts from the way to the police station. I remembered the thrill I got as I thought of being the first woman Billy had sex with. I turned my brain off. I didn't want to think about fulfilling my desires through Billy.

But my brain wouldn't turn itself off. I began thinking about how much I loved Billy. Then it hit me. That was the whole reason why I enthralled in being the one to take his virginity. Because I loved him. That was why I was so possessive of him. I loved him. I loved him with all my heart. He was one of the greatest people I knew. He deserved the best, and it was up to me to be the best girlfriend I could be.

I still knew he was going to get crap from me visiting him, though.

I must've fallen asleep, because I nearly had a heart attack when my phone started buzzing. I looked at the screen. Unknown number. The area code was the same as Billy's, so I figured it would be okay to answer.

"Hello...?" I said in a groggy voice as I brought my phone up to my ear.

"Hi," said a woman's voice. "Is this...Alisandra?"

". . . Yeahhh..." I said, cautious. "Who... Who is this?"

I booked it to the hospital. Apparently, Billy had gotten

run over.

I tried to not break any driving laws as I drove my way to the hospital. All sorts of questions were swimming in brain. They were all connected to two questions: What happened? And is he okay?

Harry was there when I walked into the E.R. I walked over to him and began drilling him with questions.

"Harry, what's going on? How's Billy? Is he okay? What happened? Is he going to be alri—?"

Harry put his finger against his lips, effectively silencing me. "Billy pushed me out of the way of a car," he explained. "We were going after this guy. We chased 'im and chased 'im. When he got far enough ahead of us, he broke into a car. Next thing I knew, I saw this old rickety car coming right at me. Billy pushed me... Oh, God..." Harry took a few steps back as he rubbed his face with his hands. "Billy pushed me away and tripped. The guy ran over his leg with the side tires. God, Ali... It was gruesome."

"He's... He's gonna live?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, he'll live," Harry assured me. "His leg, through... It sure took a beating."

"Well, where is he now? I need to see him!"

"Whoa, whoa, settle down," Harry said, putting his hands up. "He's in surgery right now. It... It'll be awhile."

"Detective, I

need

to see him," I told him firmly. "He needs to see

me.

"

"Hey, I won't argue with that," Harry said. "They'll let us know when we can see 'im. We just hafta be patient."

Harry sat down, while I remained on my feet, pacing in a small circle. I needed to gather my thoughts.

Billy was going to be okay. But it was killing me—thinking about how much pain he had been in. Plus, I dwelled on whether Billy would be able to take care of himself while his leg healed.

"You know something, Ali?" Harry asked. "You've got yourself a good man. I can't think of anyone else who would've also done what he did. He saved my life, Ali. He— Hey, are you crying?"

My nose made a loud sniffing noise as tears began to gush out of my eyes. Hearing Billy's partner talk about him like that triggered something in me. I sat down two seats away from him and sobbed quietly.

I could've lost him,

I kept thinking to myself.

I could've lost him...

"He'll be alright," Harry said. "We'll see 'im soon."

He and I waited there for what felt like hours. My heart was pounding against my chest, and I felt butterflies fluttering inside of my stomach. Harry had his elbows on his knees and was rubbing his temples with his fingers. Suddenly, he stopped, then looked at me.

"I've been meanin' to ask," he said, "how'd Billy get a dame like you?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean?"

"Like, what did he do to get you to fall in love with 'im?"

I thought for a moment. I smiled as I looked at Harry and said, "He didn't do anything."

That wasn't the answer Harry was looking for. "Nothing? He did...nothing?"

"No, no, he did

something,

but—"

"What?" Harry asked, scooting a little closer to me. "What'd he do?"

"He... He let me be myself."

". . . What?"

I rested my hand on my fist as I began to reminisce. "I work at an art gallery. That's where we first met. And, I knew how customers were. They'd walk in with something in mind, find it, and then leave. Billy... He wasn't sure what he was looking for. And...it was just one of those rare occasions where I got to tell a customer about each piece of art. Then, after that... We went on a few dates, and... Yeah."

Harry bowed his head backwards, looking straight up at the ceiling. "The

hell

was Billy doing at an art gallery in the first place...?"

Just then, two women walked in. They both wore winter hats, heavy coats, and gloves. I was jealous of them, as I was still in my "basic white girl" outfit. They looked at me. I didn't recognize them, but they seemed to recognize me. They looked a lot alike. One was taller and had straight hair, while the other was shorter and had curly hair. They walked over to us.

"Hello," said the taller one. "We're Billy's sisters. I'm Courtney."

"I'm Jessie," said the shorter one. "Nice to meet you."

"O-oh..." I said. "Hi. I'm—"

"Ali. We know," Jessie said.

"Billy talks a lot about you," Courtney told me. "We... We never thought he'd find...a significant other. You've made such an impact on him."

It took all my might stop myself from crying. I stood up and shook their hands. "W-wow, thanks..." I stammered. "He's...a great guy. You two... You two raised him well."

Grim expression over took their faces, and immediately I was worried I had crossed a line.

"He told you?" asked Courtney. She didn't sound mad, just solemn.

"Yeah," I said. "He told me."

"Mom was a complete jerk to him," said Jessie. "All because he was different."

"She's... She's coming, isn't she?" I asked.

"I don't know," said Courtney. "We called her, but it went to voicemail."

We sat down and talked. I once again recited how Billy and I met. For the next two hours, they told me more about Billy's childhood. It turns out, Billy had only scratched the surface from what he told me in the bathtub the night before. They told me about how he was always responsible for getting himself home when he was in grade school. They told me how he had to build up the money all by himself to buy a car. They told me that he had to buy his own clothes and do his own laundry. Apparently he never told Harry about his past, because as he listened, a horrified expression emerged from his face.

"Dear

God...

" he kept saying, over and over again.

"Why didn't Billy tell me about

that

stuff?" I asked.

"He buries it," Jessie explained. "He doesn't want to bother other people with it. Anyone. Not even his friends."

"

Especially

his friends," said Courtney.

Suddenly, Harry stood up.

"Detective," said Courtney, "what're you doing?"

"I'm gonna go arrest that bitch," Harry said simply. "Where does she live?"

"Harry, don't," I said. "Billy needs you

here.

"

"I know," said the detective, "but I'm not gonna let it slide that my

best friend

was neglected. Now where does she l—"

"Excuse me," said a female voice. Standing behind Harry was a curly-haired nurse. "Are you guys Billy Andrews' family?"

"Yes," all four of us said.

"Okay..." she said. "Well, I came to tell you that Billy's operation is finished. He's in the recovery room, and he hasn't woken up from the anesthesia yet. Once he's stabilized and transferred to a regular room, immediate family members can see him."

"We're all immediate family," Harry said. His head bowed to the floor as he sheepishly said, "Plus...I'm kinda the reason why he, uh... ended up here."

The nurse was silent for a moment. She then blinked, coming out of her stupor. "I'll come back in a few minutes."

Harry sat back down. All four of us were silent as we waited. I had no idea what to expect when I got to see Billy. I remembered Harry saying it was "gruesome." I imagined it would've been, since his leg had been crushed by the side tires of a car. I imagined Billy laying there with a giant cast over his foot, with a heart monitor beeping beside him. I got out my phone and looked through all the photos I had of me and him together. I croaked as I came to the picture of him kissing me on the cheek.

"It's just his leg, Ali," Harry reassured me. "He'll be just fine."

I looked over at his sisters, Courtney and Jessie. They looked even more scared than I was. The three of us remained close as we sobbed quietly together.

"Good lord," Harry said as he shook his head. "Girls, he's gonna be fine. Give it a couple o' months, and it'll be like this never happened."

We remained in the E.R. for what felt like hours. It was getting dark outside, even though it wasn't even 6:00 yet. Courtney, Jessie, and I were huddled as we prayed to God that Billy would be okay. Harry sat in silence, keeping his eyes on his knees. His arms were crossed, and a stern glare was painted on his face. I was baffled by how little emotion he was showing.

"Do you...even

care

about what's happening?" I asked.

He looked at me. "The hell do you...

Of course

I do."

"Well, you seem really calm."

"Trust me—I'm not. I'm freakin' out. Billy and me... We're... We're...best friends. When we first started working together, I hated him, Ali. He was such a goody-two-shoes. He seemed like a giant pushover—someone who shouldn't be in the force, or even

near

it."

"What made you like him?" I asked.

"He helped me become a better person. I mean... Everyone liked him. Everyone. I guess I was kinda jealous o' that. So, he helped me become more likeable. And that's when I saw why others liked him so much. He was always that guy you could rant about your problems with, and he'd always listen. And you always knew he was listening. You could see him processing that information and just...memorizing it. He was a— He

is

a great guy. He... He..."

Harry stop talking. He put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, taking a deep breath. I thought about putting my arm around him. But I didn't; there would be plenty of time to do that for Billy.

"Excuse me," said a familiar female voice. "Billy's ready for you guys, if you are."

All four of us looked at one another, just to be sure each of us was ready. We got up and began following the nurse into the hospital.

We were all very antsy to get in Billy's hospital room. It was a medium-sized room, with a bathroom, a sink, and a TV on the wall opposite from the bed. Billy was laying there with a multitude of I.V.s in his left arm. His left leg was covered in a cast and laying on a stack of pillows.

Courtney, Jessie, and I were at his sides in an instant—me on his right side, his sisters on his left. The bed railing made it tough, but all three of us embraced him. He let out a soft grunt as he became entwined in our arms and covered in our kisses.

"Oh, sweetie, are you okay?"

"Does it hurt?"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm so glad you're okay, Billy..."

"Are you alright?"

"Is there anything I can do, sweetie?"

"You'll be just fine, bud."

"It's okay, Billy, we're here now..."

"Do you need anything?"

"Ladies, geez," said Harry. "Give 'im some space." He gave Billy a smile. "How you doin'?"

"Good," Billy mustered to say; his sisters and I were still smothering him. "Really good."

I pressed my lips against my baby's cheek, not giving a single damn that his sisters were barely a foot away. I held the kiss for a length amount of time—almost fifteen seconds. As I let go, my lips made a popping sound. The nurse looked on awkwardly. She probably wasn't expecting Billy getting this much love from us.

Billy looked at me and smiled. "Hi, Ali," he said. He looked at his sisters. "Hi, guys."

"I'm so sorry this happened," said Courtney. "You'll... You'll be okay, bud."

"It's alright," he said, sounding like he was accepting an apology. "You don't need to be sorry; this was all me."

"No, it was all

me,

" Harry spoke up. "I did this to you. I was th—"

"You didn't do anything, Harry," Billy interrupted.

"Let's talk about something else," Jessie said. She looked at the I.V.s in his arm. "What are these for?"

"Oh, just medicines and fluids," Billy said. "There's some pain medication and some liquids to keep me hydrated."

I didn't know what compelled me to do so, but I gave Billy another kiss on the cheek. My lips could feel him smiling. As I let go, I asked, "Does it hurt?"