It had been 10 years since she last spoke to him. After many years in the same marriage she had been in at the time of their short lived affair, she decided to reach out to him. It was a truly innocent message, sent to check in on him, as not a day had passed that she didn't think of him. She never moved on from falling in love with him. She'd look through social media from time to time, which only brought her pain. He'd since remarried an old flame from his younger years. Although she was thrilled to see his happiness, a pang of jealously hit her in her chest, wishing she was the one in those pictures beside him. Scrolling through, she read line after line of the beautiful things he would comment about his wife.
Micah was a very loyal man. Hard to imagine as he shared in their illicit affair while married. However, he was no longer devoted to his first wife. Too many fights and ill words had drove them apart and made the relationship irreparable. Now, knowing his nature, the brief message she pounded out on her phone, deep down she knew would never be answered. He would see her name and photo and instantly delete it or even block her, out of pure loyalty for his current wife and love. A few days passed without response.
"As expected," Emily thought as she clicked the button on the side of her phone and carried on through her day. However, one afternoon a week later she got into her messages, finding a reply.
"Hey there! How are you?" it read from Micah.
Her stomach dropped and her heart was racing. She typed back a harmless pleasantry to him, explaining she lived back in Texas, had moved back last year and now had a son of her own. He went on to answer her question about his career and that he had in fact obtained his paramedic license. She was elated for him, as there had been a time he almost didn't pursue the profession and she thought it would have been such a waste to give up. Their banter was light and went on back and forth for some time.
At one point he explained he had recently divorced and moved out to his farm in a camper, living alone and enjoying his solitude. He explained how painful the separation from his wife had been. She one day just told him she no longer loved him or cared for him in the way he did her. This sent him in a downward spiral, he stopped caring about himself, was showing up to work hung-over after drinking himself to sleep nightly. He'd go out with coworkers after a shift and pick fights with strangers. It was a hole he was in even now.
She apologized to him for what he was going through. He was a tender hearted man, she knew that about him and it hurt her to hear how he was struggling. If only she could hug him she thought to herself. She simply added that she was happy for him that he'd found someone but again was sorry what it had turned into. That's all she ever desired for him was to find a worthy and fulfilling partner as he was a wonderful man, very caring and so devoted when he set his mind on something and someone.
Micah also acknowledged he often thought of her from time to time as well. That she was never far from him over the years. She felt her heart soaring reading those words, over and over.
"Could he still be in love with me?" Emily wondered excitedly. Then reality began to set in. She knew it was just her emotions running away with her and tried to keep the conversations casual. Over the next days, they continued to write to one another. He brought up how she used to write stories for him to read. She recalled this and she had written many poems and short stories of them being together or just odds and ends romances she dreamed up. Writing was her escape, though she hadn't written in years for fear of her husband finding it and accusing her of something, or bringing up the old abuse he'd put her through in finding things she'd written in her own confidence years ago and blowing up over it.
That day however, him bringing those past memories up inspired her to begin again. She created an email and began typing up sentences as well as retrieving a notebook. In the notebook she began to write to Micah, reliving their meeting, from his first touch one afternoon when he took her hand to help her out of the back of the ambulance she'd been working on, to moment she sent a seemingly innocent text, then rereading it after his response confused her.
It started when Micah was to take a shift for her one afternoon as she was leaving for a family vacation. As she prepared to leave the office she sent a text simply asking if he was ready to come on for her for the day as she was fixing to leave out. The only problem was it read as follows:
Emily: 1:46 p.m. Outgoing
Are you ready to come on me?
Incoming
Micah: 1:46 p.m. I'll be right over!
She read his messaged confused, and then reread her message, her face falling in her hands, feeling the red seeping out of her cheeks. She tried to respond as quickly as possible apologizing and correcting the message to read the following:
Outgoing
Emily: 1:48 p.m.