A Pearl of Great Price

Paul Franklin was on the edge of orgasm. He was enjoying those last few moments before the semen flowed out of him. He groaned as the orgasm peaked and his cum flowed...into a plastic specimen bottle.

He glanced at the collection bottle, impressed at the volume produced. He reached for a tissue to clean up. His next stop was the lab where he would drop the sample off so they could determine if he was producing enough sperm to impregnate his wife Tess. There are few moments more embarrassing than delivering a bottle of your own cum to be analyzed.

Paul and Tess had been trying hard for six months but pregnancy remained elusive. Month after month of disappointment was taking its toll on both of them. They told each other they wanted to delay testing. Paul knew that the testing process for a man is a lot simpler and less invasive than the tests for women. Paul decided on his own to get tested. He wouldn't tell Tess until he had the results, she was under enough stress.

It took three weeks to get results and the doctor wanted him to come in to discuss the findings.

"Paul, the results of your test came in and I have good and bad news. The good news is that you produce a very good volume of semen. The bad news is there were very few active sperm in the sample. There is a guideline for prescribing meds to boost sperm count but your count falls well below the threshold for treatment. According to current research, the chances of your impregnating your wife sit around 0.001%, virtually impossible. I can recommend you both see a counsellor who specializes in helping infertile couples. It can be very emotionally painful so please do get help."

Paul didn't say anything. He felt like he had been knocked down and kicked in the ribs and head. He was nauseous. There was nothing more important to Tess than having a baby. This was going to kill her.

Expecting the worst he dropped into a bar on his way home. Mental stress, terrible news and alcohol were never going to be a winning combination but it was what called out to him. He was slurring his words when he got home.

"Paul, you're finally home. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah a bite, at the pub."

"Paul, please sit down, we need to talk."

"Oh fuck now what?" His private thought going live, mumbled but audible.

"I have some news for you too." He threw in.

"Me first. Paul I've done a pee test and I'm pregnant!"

He jumped up and embraced her and kissed her.

"Oh my God, that's wonderful Tess!"

But then recalled his news. He was sober enough to realize that with a 0.001% chance, it meant that someone else's sperm had done the job. Paul's performance that night was worthy of an Oscar. He acted like the delighted father-to-be. He and Tess decided to keep the news quiet till we had more tests done.

He acted excited but his mind was forming a strategy to get to the truth.

Tess Franklin was competent on most computer apps and tech products. However, it takes a special kind of skill to find what others tried to hide. Paul had that skill so he used it. By the day's end, he knew nothing.

At the end of the day, Tess was as bubbly as ever. Paul had gone deeper into his moodiness. He had been diagnosed with several minor mental health issues throughout his life. His favourite saying was "Just because you've been diagnosed as paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." With paranoia, depression, panic disorder, agoraphobia and a few other issues thrown into the mix this level of stress was unhealthy.

If she hadn't arranged something via text, email or social media it must be by phone. Yet a thorough look at her call history proved that wrong.

He began to consider when she could have become pregnant. It could have happened any time over a two-week period. It wouldn't have happened at work, she didn't go out at night and she was home on time every night.

Thursday nights! He thought to himself. Thursday nights were poker nights. He and a few pals played every week. It was the only window of opportunity he could imagine.

Tess wasn't the type to go to a bar to pick up guys so he figured it must be someone she knew. Think, think, think, Paul slapped his head three times. It was a behaviour he exhibited when his meds were inadequate to do the job.

There were three couples that Paul and Tess were close friends with. They looked after each other's properties when one was away on vacation. They all had video security. They all had each other's passcodes so they could check on things remotely.

Paul worked on his laptop and accessed his own video. It was the second Thursday night that he saw Tess drive her Honda S2000 out of the garage. Paul then accessed couple 1's driveway cam. He selected the day and approximate time and watched on fast forward to find nothing. Couple 2's video was negative as well. It was about an hour into Couple 3's video that he saw the S2000 pull into their driveway. It was Ted and Kelly's house.

The video showed that she stayed there for nearly two hours. When she got in the car she was accompanied by Ted who kissed her briefly on the lips and said goodbye.

Paul's mental state descended from slightly troubled into a deeper and more dangerous state.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." His breathing became fast and laboured.

--------

Tess was happily preparing supper for herself and her husband. When Paul came into the kitchen she could see the storm clouds roiling behind his eyes.

"Tess, sit down. We need to talk."

"Let me just finish with preparations and we'll talk as we eat."

"Fuck supper! Turn it off and sit down."

Tess shut off the stove and opened the cupboard where she kept Paul's meds. She poured water for them both and sat at the table. Paul was used to Tess giving him pills so he swallowed what she gave him along with the cold water.

"So you are pregnant?

"The urine test showed positive. Isn't it wonderful!"

"It would be even more wonderful if I was the father."

Tess almost fainted when she heard him say that.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't you be the father? We've been trying for a long time."

"The day you told me you were pregnant I told you that I had something to discuss too. We never got around to it."

"Okay Paul, what is your news?"

"I had a sperm test. I didn't tell you beforehand because of all the stress. The doctor says I can't have fathered your child. I am sterile Tess."

Tess said nothing, she paled and then screamed and fainted. When she came back to consciousness she was on their bed and Paul was patting her face with a cold and wet facecloth. It was such a tender and loving thing. Then she remembered their last conversation and she broke out in tears.

"Tess, I have done a little detective work because I wanted to find out who impregnated you. It wasn't easy but it only took a couple of days and a few false starts to find out it was our friend Ted."

Tess's wailing got worse.

"Of course it made sense. You picked a guy that was a close friend, similar features to me but fertile."

Tess quieted down enough to speak.

"Paul, I could see the toll trying to start a family was taking from you. I feared that it would complicate your need for your meds. I worried that it could be a low sperm count that was keeping me from conceiving, and if it was I feared your reaction to that kind of bad news."

"I know we said we wanted to delay testing. You jumped the gun and got tested and so did I. I was checked out and they said I was perfectly fertile. I had been taking some powerful fertility meds too! I had coffee with Kelly one day and she suggested that her husband Ted could donate sperm. Ted agreed so we met at their home."

Paul looked at Tess with a 1000 yard stare. His meds weren't keeping up with his stress level. He was losing his ability to process.

"So you collected the sample on Thursday, what clinic did you use for the procedure?"

"We didn't use a clinic."

"Hah! Did Kelly inseminate you with a turkey baster? He found this hilarious, his laugh sounded almost maniacal.

"Kelly said it was better to do it the natural way."

"So you...you...fucked him?"

"No, no way, but they were all in favour of that. I said no way, so Kelly used the turkey baster."

Tess was pretty much panicking now because she could see Paul's eyes darting back and forth. It was a sure sign that even the meds she gave him couldn't keep up with his state of mind..

"Please Paul, can we discuss this later, you need to stay calm."

"Just tell me why you were in such a hurry that you took measures that you knew I would never agree with. You didn't know for sure what my sperm count was. Damn it Tess, you let my best friend inseminate you!"

" I did it for you Paul. I did it so you and I could raise our child together. So that we could have a family."

"Not my child, Ted's child. Your family not mine."

Paul was intently trying to slow down his breathing, he was hyperventilating and a panic attack was well underway.

Once he got his breathing under control he looked Tess in eyes again.

"So he masturbated? I am having difficulty containing my emotions here Tess. It was just the once?"

Tess considered her answer. It had to be minimized to keep Paul together but in needed to be true.

"It was just that one night."

Paul closed his eyes. Tess could see the rapid eye movement behind his eyelids, his mind moving a million miles per hour.

"Just one night. How many times that night?"

"Paul, don't dwell on this. It was all about having a family for you and I."

"Answer the question."

"Three times, only one night."

"You were only there for two hours, he jerked off three times in two hours?!"

Silence filled the room. It was awkward, very awkward. Again Paul's eyes were closed and again he had rapid eye movement.

"Paint me a picture Tess, what the hell went on?"

"When I told them I wouldn't have sex with Ted, Kelly said that she would help Ted produce the semen. They both got undressed and she jerked him off. She collected the semen in a sterilized jar. She used the turkey baster to inseminate me."

"So you were naked too? You watched them?

"Well yes, I would have at least had to have taken my jeans off. It was kinda kinky watching them. The second time took longer. The third she had to do it orally."

"In my mind I can picture it. I used to play sports in high school with Ted. I've seen him in the locker room. I imagine you enjoyed seeing his huge cock. He was the biggest of all of us back then. He came three times. Three fucking times! Now you're carrying his child!!"

Paul got up from the table and walked out of the house, slamming the door. He started up his aged Volvo and drove off. Tess ran after him but couldn't stop him.

--------

The Volvo had seen better days and tonight Paul was in no mood to baby it. He drove it hard for a couple of hours heading south. He spotted a seedy looking bar so he parked the car and went inside.

Several hours later he was as drunk as he had ever been. He was playing a very dangerous game that he had dubbed "psychosis roulette." You combine a hell of a lot of booze with a lack of meds needed to maintain mental health, the end result is not pretty. He knew he was ill and he should have returned home. He needed to be alone to think, but without the meds he was a loose cannon. He was past the point of being able to discern, frankly he didn't care.

He didn't attempt to drive. He found a park and took a nap under some leafy bushes that protected him from the light but steady rain. He woke up once and moved to park bench.

The morning came and Paul had a hangover, his head and back felt pretty sore and he was still wet. He walked to the bar, his Volvo was gone.

He walked to a truck stop near the highway. He found an ATM and withdrew the maximum. He bought some breakfast and talked to the truckers. One of them asked where he was headed. Paul answered that he didn't know. He was offered a ride going south. The last thing he did was to trash his phone.

The trucker was a talker so Paul let him talk. Paul slept or just kept quiet for most of the trip. His mind was like a mine field, one wrong word or thought might set it off.

He changed rides at another truck stop and then another and another. He slept wherever he could and a few places he shouldn't. Eventually he found himself in the south west part of the country. He still only had the clothes he wore when he left in February. It was now May and warm enough that he didn't need anything else.

Life on the street could be harsh. The best places to forage for meals were "owned" by groups of homeless who protected their turf. The same went for the best panhandling spots. Paul got badly beaten several times for trying to use these coveted places.

He had now gone four months without his meds. He could feel the creeping paranoia and depression affecting him. His agoraphobia kept him away from places like shelters.

He saw a calendar hanging on a wall that reminded him that he was four months away from home. He thought about Tess, four months pregnant. "Stop, stop, stop!" He yelled at himself.

He moved on to another city, more garbage can dining on what others didn't want and sleeping outdoors.

Month followed month, summer became fall and Paul began moving north again. It was October, nine months from when his friend Ted had planted his seed in Tess. The baby would be born this month. He pictured Tess with a nine month old baby bump. He felt tears running down his face.

Paul was within a few hundred miles of his old home town in January. There had been a very deep cold front come through. Paul should have known he was at risk but his mental health had deteriorated without any meds and he wasn't thinking clearly.

He settled down in a public park, off the walking trail but just barely. He was cold and hungry. He fell asleep.

--------

Tess Franklin had settled into her bed and pulled the comforter around her against the chill. She had just dozed off when her phone woke her.

"Mrs, Franklin?"

"Yes, speaking."

"This is St. Smithwick constabulary calling. Your husband, Paul Franklin is listed as a missing person. We wanted to advise you that Paul Franklin has been admitted to the Municipal Hospital in Grantham. The report we received is that he was found half frozen and sleeping in a park here. He is listed in serious condition."

"Thank you. I'll get there as soon as I can."

A few phone calls later and Tess was booked on a flight to Grantham, departure was in four hours. She showered and threw some clothes in a carry on bag and headed for the airport.

Tess couldn't believe that Paul had finally been found. She had never gotten over the way he left her and she was ridden with guilt over her own actions that caused him so much pain.

The flight was short and she was in Paul's room two hours after takeoff.

She hardly recognized the man lying in the hospital bed. He looked almost skeletal he was so thin. His long black and grey hair hung to his shoulders and was unkempt and very greasy. He had obviously not bathed in a very long time. He had a long black and grey flecked beard and wooly eyebrows.

He was unconscious. She stood at his side when a nurse and administrator walked in.

"Mrs. Franklin? Your husband carried a health insurance card with him but it had expired. Does he have health insurance coverage?"

"Not him personally but he is covered by my plan at the office, here is my card. I need to let you know that you can access his mental health status at the site on this information card. He has had a number of issues. There will be a full list of the meds he was on. I assume he hasn't taken any of them in close to a year."

"Thank you for coming prepared. Your husband is suffering from hypothermia. His heart stopped, we got it going again. We were not authorized to do a lot until we had his insurance status since he is listed as a missing person and homeless. He needs to get his body temperature raised and he will need part of his ear, three fingers and two toes amputated as soon as possible due to frostbite. If you'll sign off as his power of attorney we'll get started."

Tess signed and they quickly left the room. She hugged Paul and could feel the cold inside him. They came back into the room and whisked him away to the operating room.

She used the time to call her office. They gave her as much time off as she would need. Her coworkers were all thrilled that Paul had been found. Tess pondered how Paul would receive her when and if he gained consciousness. It would not likely be a happy reunion.

Hours later Paul was wheeled back to his room and transferred to his bed. He had many heated blankets piled on him.

Tess spent the next two days either in his room or at the Empire Hotel. On the third day Paul woke up.

--------

Paul could discern light but couldn't really see anything. He felt cold but then it was winter and he was in a park. When he could see clearly he realized this was no park, he was in a hospital bed.

He thought he must either be hallucinating or dreaming because he saw Tess, his beautiful wife standing at the end of the bed. A nice dream he thought. Then the dream spoke.

"Paul, you're in the hospital in Grantham. You're going to get better. You'll be pretty doped up for a while but you'll be alright. I'm here for you. I love you."

Paul thought this was a very sweet dream. But it must be just a dream.

The next few days Paul was in and out of consciousness but getting clearer each time. Managing pain was important for his recovery. The psychiatric unit was actively working on plans to help get him back on his meds and in a right frame of mind. When Paul was awake and thinking straight Tess asked if she could clean him up, give him a shave and haircut. He just smiled and said "Knock yourself out."

"Tess, why are you here? Shouldn't you be looking after your baby?" Are you on maternity leave or are you back to the office?"

"I'm here because I love you and you've been hurt. I have missed you so much. Let's talk about the baby a bit later okay? Maybe when you're feeling better."

Tess's concern was that she wanted Paul to be calm and on full meds before breaching any sensitive topics.

"I'm in good enough shape now. Please, I want to know."

She sighed deeply then began.

"After you left me I kind of fell apart. My friends made sure I saw a doctor and they ran another test and found that I wasn't pregnant. It was a false positive. It is rare but possible when you are taking fertility drugs."

"You didn't have a baby?"

"No, Paul."

"So your turkey basting experiment with Ted was all for naught?"

"Yes, it was a horrible mistake."

"I always said it was a stupid, horrible mistake. It cost us our marriage. I knew they couldn't find me. I travelled light and never used cards. Anyone trying to serve me with divorce papers would have a hell of a time finding me. I imagine after long enough they don't need my signature any more."

"Don't be silly, Paul. Our marriage isn't over, it's not ruined. I never wanted to end our marriage. I had you listed as a missing person. I looked for you for a long time. Yes, I gave up hope a while ago. Then I got notice that you're here."

"You said you gave up hope a while ago. Have you moved on?"

"I just said that our marriage isn't over. We are still married. I came here to help you."

"Boyfriend?"

"Are you asking me if I have a boyfriend?"

"I am."

Tess heaved another heavy sigh. This was another minefield she would rather have avoided.

"Yes, I have been seeing a man for about three months now."

"Is it serious?"

"At three months, no."

"Am I back on the nuthouse meds?"

"They've started a course of meds but they will need to adjust doses as they go."

"Fuck Tess, why can't I ever seem to get things right?